Independent activities for bright, active almost-5-year-old?

[Katielady]

DS needs a lot of stimulation and wants me to engage him every second he's awake. I've struggled with this pretty much since he started crawling, and now he's almost 5. I've read books, including "Raising Your Spirited Child," that have helped a lot when it comes to dealing with his intensity, active nature, and sensitivity. I also realized that he's more extroverted than I am, and that realization has helped. But still. on a daily basis, it can be really hard sometimes. Today I needed to pack for a trip, and TV only helped for a few hours before both kids (esp. the younger) were bored and in kind of a TV-depresso mode so I turned it off. He follows me around. He is bugging me right now, asking me every MINUTE when I'll be done on the computer.

Anyway, venting aside, I'd like to come up with some new things he can do on his own. I've set up the house with lots of activity stations. Here's what we've got:

-reading nook with a forward-facing rack which I keep stocked with fresh library books. (He can read fluently.)

-shelf with puzzles, coloring books, paper, next to a thingy that hangs on the wall and has pockets with various art supplies

-train table in his room with various things that can go on it, like a marble track, playmobile castle, legos, etc.

-slide and other active toys in the basement

I try to move things around a lot because he gets bored so quickly, so I switch toys in and out. But really, there just seems to be only so long he can stand to play on his own (or with little sis) before he comes to bug me. He is also in Pre-K five days a week, three mornings and two days from 9-3, which to me is a LOT of school for such a little tyke. It's not what I pictured when I became a SAHM but I find that he needs the socializing and I need the time away from him. It hurts me to say that because I love him so much, but he's just so INTENSE and so in my face, and I can't handle so much of it day after day.

Anyway, even with all that school, he will get home and after lunch we'll play a game and then he's like "What are we doing next?" and I ask him to do one of the many activities around the house and he's all, "noooooooo, that's booooooring, I want to do something with yoooooou." I don't give in- I can't, I have stuff I need to do!- but he whines and fusses and then tends to pick a fight with his sister. I'm at my wit's end.

I guess some technique suggestions would be good too. I try to alternate my chores with doing an activity together, but some days (like today) there's just too much work and I can't play board games with him all day.

Sorry, this turned out a lot longer than I'd planned. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far. :p

[Daffodil]

My 5 year old hates to do stuff by himself too.  But he is often willing to entertain himself on the computer.  I don't know how you feel about computer time, but DS enjoys Line Rider, Paint, and playing any kind of game.  (We try to limit the game playing, though.)  His very favorite thing lately is Angry Birds.  DP got the PC version and introduced the kids to it, and then found a program that lets you create your own Angry Birds levels.  DS loves making his own levels, and that seems like a somewhat better use of his time than just playing the game, so we've been letting him do it kind of a lot.

[newbie_mary]

I struggle with the same thing...I think the answer is PLAYDATES!  If we have the right child over, I can do all the stuff while they play together. 

[omelette]

My almost 5 yr old loves to be with me all the time.  The only solution I've found is finding him activities that he can do at the kitchen table or counter while I'm in the kitchen - lego, colouring, painting, books, playmobil.  He refuses any activity that is not in the same room as me.  With this set up he is playing/colouring on his own but we are together and we can still talk.  It allows me to get some stuff done and he's happy too.

[LynnS6]

I don't know how much this will help, but recognize that part of the different between an introvert and an extrovert is how they recharge. I suspect your son comes home from pre-K and is a little tired. Because he's an extrovert, he recharges by being with people (namely you). That's why it's hard for him to find things to do when he comes home. The understanding may help you (especially if you're an introvert and recharge by being with people). I remember sitting down once after hosting ds' birthday party. The kids had just spent 3 hours playing with other kids. I'd spent the day getting ready for the party and then hosting it. I was wiped. Dh was wiped. Ds was wiped. We were all off in our corners doing our own little thing. And dd popped up and said "Can I go see if the neighbors can play?" My initial reaction was "I'm exhausted, how can you want to go play?" and I started to say no. Dh headed me off at the pass and said "let her go!" That was the day I realized that dd was an extrovert. She needed the interaction with other kids to keep her energy up .

Now, I don't know how to translate that into something to do for your ds. Could you set time limits on how long you'll play with him? So, play for 30 minutes, and then go do your work. Let him know exactly how long you need to work before you can stop again. Sometimes knowing what to expect really helps. If he protests at doing things himself, invite him along to help. Even my introverted child kind of likes to be in the same room as us.