Breastfeeding: To cover or not to cover? - Page 4

[MamaofLiam]

Originally Posted by purplerose 

Whipping it out to me(and most moms I know) means pulling out the breast and exposing it, letting it remain exposed when the baby is not nursing. There's a huge difference between nursing without a cover, and what is referred to as whipping it out. A very blatant act. And I really don't care either way, just trying to clarify the term. I do not feel it's offensive, either, as I whip it out at home just around my husband and kids and mother all the time! In public I try to be careful to keep the forbidden nipple hidden(though that's pretty silly, isn't it...why should that part be more private than the whole rest of the breast that's exposed in a bikini?!)

Yeah, I don't really understand how the term "whip it out" is offensive. It's a general term usually used to describe getting something out in a quick manner, e.g., I often whip out my wallet to pay the cashier at the grocery store (emphasis on function). When I say whip it out I mean I give no thought to my surroundings and am mainly focused on quickly feeding my ds, but I don't generally leave it hanging out unless I'm at home. He does pop on and off a lot, and I spray quite dramatically (I have very heavy let downs), so I usually have to cover my nipple or I'll soak myself. That's my experience anyway.

I agree with you purplerose, it is pretty silly that the nipple is considered more taboo than the whole rest of the breast which is on display and considered acceptable in a bikini.

[jessica_s]

I don't cover. Never felt a need to. I do have a mom friend who covers, no biggie. We both sat next to each other at a birthday party today and fed our babies. Very interesting! 

[abm79]

So nice to hear so many women who don't cover.  I don't cover, but have nursing shirts and bras so it's rather discreet as is.  I also nurse while walking (I use a wrap) and have never really cared what people thought.  However, I recently got into a debate online on public breastfeeding and heard some awful opinions coming out (i.e., it's disgusting, inappropriate, and perverted) so it's quite nice to hear of so many people who acknowledge the naturalness of it all. 

Personally, I would say to do whatever makes you more comfortable.  After all, if you're not comfy, it's not going to be a great experience for you or baby!

[sosurreal09]

Right I certainly think if you are choosing to cover for whatever reason there is nothing wrong with that. I just hate that women feel they have to b/c of the way society has made NIP, BFing at all even.

If say 90% of the women in this country BF and everyone NIP without any issues and it was seen as the normal and biological thing to do (which it is), then I don't even think this thread would have been made.

The problem is bottle feeding is seen as normal and formula is normal. BFing has been turned into this "intangible" goal that woman "should do b/c it's best". If formula was only used in rare cases of when woman needed it b/c of medical issues then BFing would never have been put on a pedestal. Woman feel like it is impossible. Without the right knowledge and support no wonder why so many woman "fail" at it.

A lot of it depends on the woman as well. So many woman say "I will try to BF first" If you have that mentality about it, chances are you will give up. When I started BFing I had no support. Not one person to help me. I gave birth and went home 5hrs later, I was too scared to call LLL, and didn't know anyone living who ever EBF. I did research it a lot before I gave it a go though and I did not prepare for failure (bottles or formula) I just told myself not to doubt. I had a "it was this or nothing" kind of mentality, as if formula was not an option. We are still BFing at 17 m/o, never an issue.

[belltree]

I nurse without a cover in public. A cover might aid, when the child is easily distracted, but my child hated scarves, so I let him be.

I did not nurse in public the first 3 months however. I had a very hard time establishing breastfeeding and it took usually 15-20min to establish a latch, later than only 5min and up. And I would get so frustrated and my eyes would tear from the pain, and I needed to hold the boob pretty much fully exposed in one hand the baby in the other trying to get those two to come together, waving the nipple in front of my baby. That's just nothing I felt comfortable doing outside, plus it was winter in New England.

[nvernon]

I think that nursing covers are more for the mother's modesty than others, or at least they should be , if anything.  I have never used one and live in a palace where formula and bottles are the norm, but in 1.5 years have never even felt uncomfortable nursing in public, or had anyone attempt to make me feel uncomfortable.  However, i have very small breasts, mainly just milk, so I really think a lot of people don't notice until they are very close.... and then smile nervously.... down my chest at what they thought was a sleeping toddler.  Also, I don't know about other children, but my daughter would never tolerate a "cover," even in AC at a young age.

Horribly, I remember attending a mandatory prenatal class in order to deliver at a birthing center and a husband/boyfriend of a young expectant mother told the class that he thought breastfeeding in public was completely inappropriate and offensive. If anything, that has made me more adamant about breastfeeding in public.

[sosurreal09]

That is sick! I hate when men do that! DH said there was a lady nursing her baby on a bench at his work yesterday and he was helping an older man and they walked by the woman and the man said "that's disgusting, can't she go to the bathroom and do that?" well DH said he told the guy off and asked him to leave and the mom was grateful.

[nstewart]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 
DH said he told the guy off and asked him to leave and the mom was grateful.

Good for your DH!  I will never understand how anyone can think that feeding a child is offensive!  And in the bathroom?  Would that man have wanted to eat his lunch in the bathroom?

[goldenwillow]

I am one who whips it out, modestly.  It is not my mission to show the world.  But I will not go and hide to feed my child.... usually just turn my body so I am not too exposed.  I did use a small receiving blanket in the beginning and found that it was a PITA.  I feel those nursing covers attract more attention as to what is going on.  Most the time folks don't even know I am nursing. 

[hasya]

Cover doesn't work for DD, because she'll push it up, but I find a discreet place. While I don't have a problem seeing women nurse in public with no cover, it is odd for me if everything is out there, but that's just my conservative upbringing. I would never make someone cover up or give them glares or stares for nursing anywhere anytime any way. To each her own. I do give glares and stares when I see smokers though, and don't hesitate to comment about the stink aloud but that's a whole other thread.

[heybabyquepaso]

The longer we nurse, the more comfortable I am nursing without a cover. I usually do the tank top trick, like other moms, and I carry a cover in my purse. Every once in a while I try to use it but my 5 month old is at the age where he just pulls it down anyway. It used to bother my husband, but he got used to it. I think there are certain situations where I think about covering (church), but don't really cover.

To be honest, I'm really more anxious about covering when my son is older than 1 year. I hear A LOT of flack for my decision to let him breastfeed past 1 year and I'm really not sure what we'll do when others start saying things like "Your STILL doing that?" I mean, I know what I'm supposed to say but I just really wonder if I might reach for the cover more when he's closer to toddler-hood.

Hopefully, by then, I'll just have even more confidence.

[myk]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

Right I certainly think if you are choosing to cover for whatever reason there is nothing wrong with that. I just hate that women feel they have to b/c of the way society has made NIP, BFing at all even.

If say 90% of the women in this country BF and everyone NIP without any issues and it was seen as the normal and biological thing to do (which it is), then I don't even think this thread would have been made.

The problem is bottle feeding is seen as normal and formula is normal. BFing has been turned into this "intangible" goal that woman "should do b/c it's best". If formula was only used in rare cases of when woman needed it b/c of medical issues then BFing would never have been put on a pedestal. Woman feel like it is impossible. Without the right knowledge and support no wonder why so many woman "fail" at it.

A lot of it depends on the woman as well. So many woman say "I will try to BF first" If you have that mentality about it, chances are you will give up. When I started BFing I had no support. Not one person to help me. I gave birth and went home 5hrs later, I was too scared to call LLL, and didn't know anyone living who ever EBF. I did research it a lot before I gave it a go though and I did not prepare for failure (bottles or formula) I just told myself not to doubt. I had a "it was this or nothing" kind of mentality, as if formula was not an option. We are still BFing at 17 m/o, never an issue.

i mostly agree with this. i however DID have issues with both my babies and at nearly 3 months still have latch issues. since i have a good supply the bottle has real milk in it, but bystanders have no way of knowing that. in any case it's been a very difficult 3 months and when it was "milk or nothing" my baby's blood sugar went dangerously low and she would also have been dehydrated if we had not supplemented. so i just put it in my mind instead that "breastfeeding is not optional", rather than all or nothing. decided formula and bottles were "only when medically necessary", which they were. i'm still a huge bfing advocate and try to restrict bottle use in public especially, because i want to normalize natural feeding as much as i can. she is latching several times a day, but only in the last few weeks. i'm so proud of her new skill, but still there are hurdles.

some people will read your post and feel bad because their difficulties were insurmountable in the end. it's not simply a matter of "failure is not an option", there are other very real factors at play. but you're right - attitude (and extreme stubbornness...) is a HUGE determining factor. so is availability of support (no LCs or LLL in town). every hurdle i've faced, i've faced alone except for online friends.

i guess the challenges we've faced probably make me even more proud to nurse publicly and visibly. we worked HARD for it and nobody is going to stop me from showing off my beautiful breastfeeding baby.

[MnMtm]

I've debated NIP with my brother before, many times. He once said (not when I was nursing; he's actually never said anything to me while I'm nursing, just when we were debating it at a different time,) "Can't you at at least go to a different room until you're finished?" to which I respoded, "If you're uncomfortable, you're more than welcome to go to another room until I'm finished." I think I would probably say this to anyone whoe amde any sort of comment about going somewhere else.

Good for that DH! I love it when DHs are so suuportive of things like that. I 'm very happy that my DH is!
 

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

That is sick! I hate when men do that! DH said there was a lady nursing her baby on a bench at his work yesterday and he was helping an older man and they walked by the woman and the man said "that's disgusting, can't she go to the bathroom and do that?" well DH said he told the guy off and asked him to leave and the mom was grateful.

[hasya]

Extreme stubbornness. Yes, that. I was howling in pain my entire first month bfing. Had a backache and developed tendonitis that is still getting treated... But DH refused to let me succumb to just give her formula. We had decided that I wouldn't take the easy way out. Guess what, we did end up taking the easy way out, because now, there are no bottles to wash!!! I haven't really decided how long I want to nurse. I am taking it as it comes. I know one thing though, and I don't want to nurse through a pregnancy.

[cat13]

It's good to hear so many supportive mamas out there. Since moving to my town 1.5 year ago, I have never seen anyone NIP... and I even worked at the mall for a few months. I am a little nervous to do it myself (LO isn't due till summer), but I hope it's not too bad of an experience.

[goldenwillow]

Originally Posted by cat13 

It's good to hear so many supportive mamas out there. Since moving to my town 1.5 year ago, I have never seen anyone NIP... and I even worked at the mall for a few months. I am a little nervous to do it myself (LO isn't due till summer), but I hope it's not too bad of an experience.

It is what you make it.  It can be only positive.