Hearing Impairment, Please Some Advice?

[Treece]

OK, well, my dd is my first girl and I did do EC with both of the boys when they were young and circumstances caused it to be put on the back burner.... So, I have also attempted to EC with my dd, but never could cue her. At first I thought, well maybe girls ARE different, but there is another issue: She is hearing impaired and cannot HEAR SHHHHHH or PSSSSSS which are cues I used with the boys really well, and really young. DS1 could stay clean all day <with my help> at 3 mo and DS2 could stay clean and dry all day at 6 months with my help.

I haven't been able to help my daughter. I put EC on the backburner with her because of the communication issue....It is important lol. Anyways, I was wondering if anyone has any advice for helping a 1 yo hearing impaired little girl find her potty independence? Oh, I realize that complete potty independence may not happen for a while, but I am ready to continue our EC journey. But I am unsure what to do with her.

[heatherr30]

how do you normally communicate with her?  Couldn't you just cue her using sign language?

At this age I would also check out some tips for normal PT... such as letting her watch you and the boys go to the toilet... changing her promptly every time.. etc.  With my DD I started out at 12 months just sitting her on the potty once a day first thing in the morning.  We added one potty trip per day till we were both comfortable with the routine. (in our case this happened more about age 2 but anyway.. I think you could also do it with a 1 yr old)

I used mainly timing, I think at this age they may or may not cue.

[Treece]

Originally Posted by heatherr30 

how do you normally communicate with her?  Couldn't you just cue her using sign language?

At this age I would also check out some tips for normal PT... such as letting her watch you and the boys go to the toilet... changing her promptly every time.. etc.  With my DD I started out at 12 months just sitting her on the potty once a day first thing in the morning.  We added one potty trip per day till we were both comfortable with the routine. (in our case this happened more about age 2 but anyway.. I think you could also do it with a 1 yr old)

I used mainly timing, I think at this age they may or may not cue.

Um, well, this sounds bad, but normally I am very verbal because I am a very verbal person. I find communication sometimes very difficult....But that's another topic in another forum.

I haven't really worked with her signing, and she only knows "Bye". I have introduced eat, more, choo-choo train (the 3 yo wanted to learn), bubbles, and i think that's it.

I think I will try the once a day working up. that sounds reasonable. With the boys, I really never had to rely on timing, it was communication and intuition. With her, things have been so very different. Everything has been. I can't really afford to change as often as she needs and I hate this. All of my cloth dipes got ruined due to a lack of a washing machine... Now I have one, and 6 cloth dipes. We're transitioning back to cloth to help her reconnect. That's my real goal to help her connect with her own body. Sposies really prevent that from happening. I dislike diapers, and when I found EC i knew that's waht I wanted to do. But I have had so many problems with just parenting her. I am so lucky she is a happy baby, even with everything else. She is one lucky little girl. I am happy to be her mom, its just a harder job than normal. SOrry, didn't mean to take this away from EC.

[heatherr30]

For what it's worth, I think that's a myth that sposies prevent babies from realizing they are peeing.  That is like saying that when you pee into a potty or toilet you can't feel what is happening.  I think they realize what is going on they just tend not to mind because the diaper feels dry afterwards.  So I don't think you have done your little girl any damage (ie losing touch with her bodily functions), and I don't think this is necessarily a bad age to start.  I wish I had worked with my DD more when she was a year old as she had a horrible diaper rash and I had never heard of EC at that time!  She was staying dry for up to 2 hours at a time and I know I could have kept her dry most of the day by taking her once an hour, had I known it was possible to teach her how to release urine.

Anyway it sounds like this is a challenge for you both on a communication level too, I hope that will really be a blessing for you as you and your DD continue trying to communicate!  I think hearing impaired people can become very good at lip reading and reading expressions so I am sure your DD will pick up on those cues too as you vocalize what is happening.

[Treece]

Originally Posted by heatherr30 

For what it's worth, I think that's a myth that sposies prevent babies from realizing they are peeing.  That is like saying that when you pee into a potty or toilet you can't feel what is happening.  I think they realize what is going on they just tend not to mind because the diaper feels dry afterwards.  So I don't think you have done your little girl any damage (ie losing touch with her bodily functions), and I don't think this is necessarily a bad age to start.  I wish I had worked with my DD more when she was a year old as she had a horrible diaper rash and I had never heard of EC at that time!  She was staying dry for up to 2 hours at a time and I know I could have kept her dry most of the day by taking her once an hour, had I known it was possible to teach her how to release urine.

Anyway it sounds like this is a challenge for you both on a communication level too, I hope that will really be a blessing for you as you and your DD continue trying to communicate!  I think hearing impaired people can become very good at lip reading and reading expressions so I am sure your DD will pick up on those cues too as you vocalize what is happening.

I think that it would add another layer for us to connect on too. She does watch lips. I say watch because I doubt she can read lips quite yet, I could be wrong. So, I will start setting her on my BBLP once an hour or so and cueing her and what not. Thanks Heather, I hadn't thought much about the lip reading aspect. :)

[ocelotmom]

If you're holding the baby so that her back is against your abdomen, you can kind of clench your abdominal muscles and bear down. This tends to be a very effective non-verbal cue (in fact, it's how two of mine figured out what I was trying to get them to do). Running a stream of warm water over their (bare) foot can also work.

[VroomieMama]

I hate to snatch the thread but just wanted to let you know that I"m deaf and its a myth that deaf people read lips well BUT it does help if the speaker is open minded to use gestures and expressions with the assistance of using lips, it'll work. I didn't want you to feel disappointed if your child doesn't read lips as well like some others do when she grows older.

Are you signing up for ASL classes or something? It'll help to break down communication barriers later on but that's your choice though. :)

[Amatullah0]

I didn't discover EC until DS was older, and even then, I didn't want to put all the work into it, but at the same time I wanted to do EC, long story short, we bought a baby potty seat around 6 or 7 mo, and I would put him on there once in a blur moon, but by a year we were using the potty more frequently. I would usually just do this for poops, because I hated changing poopy diapers! I would watch for when he wanted to poop(farting, bearing down, or just pooped a little bit) and I would stick him on the potty. I would push on his stomach and bear down with him(in addition to grunting, but I feel like the exaggerated bearing down helped most). For pee, I would turn on the water in the sink(so he could hear it), make the sound, and pour water over his penis, then I would let him do his stuff. At 21 months, this is what we are still doing, because I never had the time or energy to do it! A few months after we started, he knew where his potty was, and he would take the top part and try to snap it into the adult potty(because thats how we use it).

Hope this helps somewhat!

[laohaire]

I don't think a small child is going to get much (well, anything) out of "reading lips" for a "pssssssss" cue.

I think I would do one of the following:

1) A tickle cue. Depending on your hold, get an index finger to sweep bare skin on her lightly, somewhere. I wouldn't try to tickle to giggles or anything, just brush lightly back and forth.

or

2) A deep voice cue, like a low "hunh hunh hunh," possibly with your throat against her head so she can feel it well. Could be kind of weird in public though.

or

3) Not worry about it, and consider the elimination hold to be the cue all by itself.

Disclaimer: I am hearing impaired but not an EC expert. I've read about it but not practiced it (I think I would if I had another baby).

[amyjoyce79]

Signing can be a very useful communication technique even with children that have no hearing problems and it can be easily combined with other cues you may choose to use. She will be much more likely to recognize a repeated sign and facial expression than to read lips. 

[heatherr30]

I didn't mean that he would be able to read lips perfectly.  (Not that I'm an expert on deaf communication anyway!)  What I was trying to say is that Treece should go ahead and verbalize what is happening, as she feels she is a verbal person and needs to communicate in this way.  I am sure her little girl would benefit from watching her face as she speaks.  This might also help Treece (or anyone struggling with a second language) as she gets used to signing.  I apologize for the misunderstanding.

BTW how is it going?

[journeywooz]

i agree with vroomiemama's comment.  i'd definitely suggest learning at least some sign language to prevent further communication barriers in the future.  makes things way easier for us and our daughter is able to communicate her needs thus cutting down on the tantrums dramatically.

i'm deaf and we ec our little girl.  i've always used the "toilet" sign and i think it's as easy as saying psss.  we also blow on the top of her head as a cue.  

[Treece]

Originally Posted by VroomieMama 

I hate to snatch the thread but just wanted to let you know that I"m deaf and its a myth that deaf people read lips well BUT it does help if the speaker is open minded to use gestures and expressions with the assistance of using lips, it'll work. I didn't want you to feel disappointed if your child doesn't read lips as well like some others do when she grows older.

Are you signing up for ASL classes or something? It'll help to break down communication barriers later on but that's your choice though. :)

Well, she isn't completely deaf, just hearing impaired. She watches our lips as we talk. She can hear with hearing aids. As far as ASL, I am learning through a free online instructor and her speech therapist. Even though she isn't profoundly deaf, I feel she would benefit from another layer of communication. I would really like to talk to you more...Could you PM me?

[Treece]

Both of these are very good ideas. I will definitely try both. See which feels more "natural" to me.
 

Originally Posted by journeywooz 

i agree with vroomiemama's comment.  i'd definitely suggest learning at least some sign language to prevent further communication barriers in the future.  makes things way easier for us and our daughter is able to communicate her needs thus cutting down on the tantrums dramatically.

i'm deaf and we ec our little girl.  i've always used the "toilet" sign and i think it's as easy as saying psss.  we also blow on the top of her head as a cue.  

Originally Posted by laohaire 

1) A tickle cue. Depending on your hold, get an index finger to sweep bare skin on her lightly, somewhere. I wouldn't try to tickle to giggles or anything, just brush lightly back and forth.