Thank you, everyone!

[Lory]

Hi guys!

I'm not a mother, and hopefully won't be one for a few more years (college first!), but I just wanted to show my thanks for all of you who care about baby boys and men, and their right to stay intact. It might not seem easy to convince people, but it does work - it did for me.

I used to think that circumcision was just a "snip" of extra skin, and couldn't imagine the baby being hurt at all. I figured it was like an ear piercing... but then I read a debate in a forum somewhere, and so I started doing my research, coming across many sites including this one, and I learned so much. That skin is not just extra skin; it serves a function. There is absolutely nothing dirty about it any more than having a clitoral hood makes me dirty. Even if there were good reasons to cut off incredibly sensitive skin from a newborn baby with no effective painkillers, it still can't be reversed, and he can always get it done later on the rare chance that he actually wants to... not to mention that the videos I saw were shocking... the reasons against it just kept piling up, and it made perfect sense. In fact, whenever I hear that someone is having a baby, I worry that they'll take that from him, so I'm always relieved when it turns out to be a girl. 

The first guy I ever touched down there was uncut, and the skin was just like eyelid skin! Really soft, clean and NOT gross at all, like so many girls seem to think. However, the only man I've been with is cut, and although I have nothing to compare it to, I feel bad for him. What intense sensation is he missing out on? The scar left over just looks... painful. I look at the bottles of K-Y and think of how he would have natural lubricant if his right to choose had just been respected. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with him; I just wish he'd had the choice that he deserved to make for himself.

Basically, thanks to people like yourselves, if I have a son in the future, I will absolutely not circumcise him no matter what my husband or the doctor think "looks good"; I will never retract it or try to "clean" under it (learned that from this forum!); and I hold it equally as appalling as cutting the same skin off of a girl. You all do make a difference, so keep up the live discussion, because you could continue to spare a lot of men from this unnecessary, harmful and purely cosmetic surgery.

Edited by Lory - 3/21/11 at 1:58pm

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

It is great to know that more and more people out there are actually looking into circ and deciding that it is not something they would ever do.

[hakunangovi]

Welcome , Lory,  and kudos to you for your insight and common sense attitude.  I hope you share what you have learned with your friends.

[T-man's Mama]

Good for you! It's nice to know that younger people are paying attention to such human rights issues, and observing the evidence with an open mind as you have done. My husband is cut and my son is intact. I am thankful every day that I learned the truth about circumcision during my pregnancy!   

[Lory]

Thanks for the warm welcome! <3 I like to think that I'm open minded, but that alone wouldn't have protected my future son; getting the right information out there was so important and I'm thankful to be able to make the right decision, or rather no decision at all. Knowledge really is power.

I haven't had a reason to bring it up to friends, but I remember being twelve and talking about it with my male friend of the same age; despite all the information, he was circumcised and he defended it and said that not everyone thinks it's bad. He almost seemed a little defensive... I haven't tried talking about it since. I don't like to cause arguments, but if one of my friends has a boy, I do feel obligated to bring it up. I would rather look back on it later and think "at least I tried" than simply not say anything for fear of offending someone.

T-man's Mama, I'm glad you were able to do so as well, and good for your husband for being so open minded about it! From what I gather, most circumcised men not only don't seem to realize the extent of what was done to them, but they feel like they have to do the same thing to their son. It reminds me of the horror FGM stories where the women who already went through it are actually the ones to inflict it upon girls.

Edited by Lory - 3/21/11 at 1:59pm

[Lory]

Also, after lurking in here for about a week, I've noticed a lot of acronyms like "DH, DS, DD" - what do these stand for? My guess so far has been "dear husband", "dear son" and "dear daughter", but I might be way off.

Edited by Lory - 3/21/11 at 1:59pm

[K703]

Originally Posted by Lory 

Also, after lurking in here for about a week, I've noticed a lot of acronyms like "DH, DS, DD" - what do these stand for? My guess so far has been "dear husband", "dear son" and "dear daughter", but I might be way off.

You're right on those acronyms.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by Lory 

Also, after lurking in here for about a week, I've noticed a lot of acronyms like "DH, DS, DD" - what do these stand for? My guess so far has been "dear husband", "dear son" and "dear daughter", but I might be way off.

Yep that is right and for help with any others you may come across you can go here http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/abbreviations-and-acronyms and look them up.

[T-man's Mama]

Oh I know!! It's crazy, but it's simply part of the sad cycle of abuse in all its ugly manifestations. Many mothers even leave the circ decision completely up to the father, since he has the penis and is thus presumably more knowledgeable than the woman. What a huge mistake, and erroneous thinking! As you said, most men of a recent generations in the States were cut per THEIR parents' ignorance, and so what the heck do they know about a foreskin?! Nothing except that it must be bad, because otherwise why did good old mom and dad have it cut off? Sigh. It's purely illogical in every possible way, but our culture is absolutely brainwashed into believing that circing either isn't painful, or is somehow necessary/beneficial. 

It also reminds me of that old parable about the mother who always cuts the end off the ham and throws it away before baking. Her daughter asks why one day, and she responds that she doesn't know, it's just what her mother always did. She calls her mother up and learns that the grandma only did it because her pan was too short to accommodate the entire ham!

FWIW while my husband isn't quite an intactivist, he did agree right away that there was no need to cut off a perfectly normal and healthy part of our precious newborn's body. He got angry at having our baby undergo the heel prick, for goodness sake!

Originally Posted by Lory 

T-man's Mama, I'm glad you were able to do so as well, and good for your husband for being so open minded about it! From what I gather, most circumcised men not only don't seem to realize the extent of what was done to them, but they feel like they have to do the same thing to their son. It reminds me of the horror FGM stories where the women who already went through it are actually the ones to inflict it upon girls.