I need a reality check!

[Evandy]

Until about a year ago, I was a SAHM intending to HS my DD (now 6). Financial difficulties dictated that I needed to return to work. This was very difficult for me to accept, but with my income we were able to enroll DD at the local Waldorf school, and we have been very pleased. The job I had was eliminated at the end of last year, however, and the job I have now pays considerably less, so we can't keep her at the Waldorf school. I am working FT, and the new job requires me to be in school half time, so I am taking 2 online classes. Oh yeah, and we now have a 4-month-old.

There is a big part of me that thinks I am insane to even consider homeschooling with all I have on my plate. BUT an even bigger part of me feels like putting her in a public school 1st grade after Waldorf kindy would be throwing her to the wolves. They have standardized testing in 1st grade. Those kids have spent a year being drilled on sight words. DD is somewhat competitive by nature, and I don't want to put her in a situation where she would feel "less than." I don't know what it would do to her self-esteem. Not to mention that we've worked so hard to avoid the whole Disney princess/Hannah Montana scene, and I feel like she'd just be thrown into the thick of it.

So I guess what I am asking is this: Can it be done? With a FT job, PT school, and a baby? I am fortunate in that I work mostly from home, and my schedule is flexible. Same with school. DH works nights, so he is home and awake in the afternoon, but has made it clear that 1) he thinks this is a crazy plan but doesn't want her in public school, and 2) he doesn't feel like he can help with HS in any way except maybe to take her to an afternoon or weekend playdate or co-op class.

TIA for your help!!

[Lucy Alden]

In your situation?  Personally, no I can't see myself HS.  I'd feel burned out within a few weeks and really resentful that my husband wasn't an equal partner in HS.  If the goal was to HS for one year to catch your DD up to the public school then I would be able to do it.  But long term, no.  That being said, only you can decide if you are up for it.  I'm so sorry you are having to make this decision.  

[Plummeting]

I really feel for you! That sounds extremely difficult, and personally I don't know that I'd be able to do it. I definitely couldn't do it without help from my husband, if I had to work FT and take 2 classes, while caring for an infant. No way! I think your dh is being unreasonable if he wants her to be home schooled. Now if he doesn't actually mind putting her in ps, then I can understand his reluctance to be involved, but if his goal is to keep her out of ps, then he needs to help. Only you know your personal limits, but I know that I am not the most patient person on earth and I would be too stressed out to have enough patience to home school in that situation. Now with help from dh, I think it would be do-able, but not without his help.

[moominmamma]

If you're eliminating the Waldorf school tuition from your expenses do you need to be working FT and going to school to make it through the month? I agree with others that it sounds a little nuts to do all of that, plus homeschooling, plus caring for an infant. There are often a lot of hidden expenses involved in working. Perhaps there would be some other savings too...

Miranda

[Daffodil]

Working full time while taking care of a 4 month old baby?  That alone sounds impossible!  (And it will surely only get harder as the baby gets older and more mobile and starts sleeping less.)  It's hard to see how you could find time to do much of anything with the 6 year old.  On the other hand, you don't necessarily have to do all that much.  What would your educational goals be?  Do you want to teach her to read, or try to get her caught up with her public school peers?  Or would you be content just to let her follow her own interests?  Is she happy spending a lot of time alone, with no other kids her age to play with?  Is she good at finding something constructive to do when you're busy?  If there aren't a lot of things you feel you have to make sure she learns, and if she's the kind of kid who would happily spend her days playing outside, catching bugs, playing pretend games, drawing, making up her own craft projects, etc. without a lot of input from you, maybe it could work. 

[jeteaa]

I think it depends on HOW you want to hs you dd. Is she self entertained? My dd1 who is almost 7 wants nothing to do with 
me giving her lessons..... so we almost unschool, with me slipping in a few minutes here and there with "school" type work such as asking her do do ONE math page then she can go play or reading ONE short early reader book....  So I would say, yes, HS if you are relaxed about it and won't stress about not keeping up with what they do in PS.

[Evandy]

What I had in mind was this: I currently spend 2 1/2 hours getting her ready, driving to school, and returning home in the AM. I could use this time for home schooling. Then she could do handwork, snack, outdoor play, lunch, and spend the PM with Dad doing house and yard work, co-op, play group, etc.

Seems do-able enough to me, once we find our rhythm. But maybe just because I *want* it to be do-able.

However--my dad offered yesterday to pay for "at least half" of her tuition for next year and subsequent years until I finish school and am making more money. So it looks like we will be able to keep her where she is. Home schooling is still my ideal, but I know that with the commitments I already have, this will be better for her. Lack of time for social activities was my biggest concern--she really has done well spending a lot of time with other kids (that aren't 4 months old!).

[Plummeting]

That's wonderful that your dad is able and willing to do that for you guys. What a fantastic gift! I'm glad you found a workable solution.