Did - your - mom breastfeed you? CIO? - Page 5

[77sugaree]

When I was a teenager I asked my mom if she breastfed me and when she told me no, I remember promising myself that I would breastfeed my own kids. She also never allowed us to sleep in her room. I remember being so scared at night but knowing I couldn't go to my parents for comfort. I also promised to never do that to my own kids. So yes, my mom's parenting choices definitely affected how I parent.

I nursed DS1 and DS2 for 2 years each and I plan to nurse DD for at least that long. And we co-sleep and don't plan to stop anytime soon.

What's funny is my mom is super supportive of my style of parenting and criticizes my step-sister for formula feeding and CIO.

[Drummer's Wife]

Breastfed, yes, for almost 3 years (tandem nursed w/my lil bro). CIO - no. At least I'm pretty sure we were never left anywhere to cry. My mom was very AP/NFL.

[intange]

My mom Bf-ed all three of us for about 4 months, except my adopted youngest brother, that's what she told me. She wean because her milk 'dried up' I'm not sure how it can happen in reality, I'm BF-ing my 21 months DS without any 'drying' happen, thanks god. She never cio, as far as I remember. My youngest brother however was adopted, and he breastfed for a month by his biological mother before we adopted him. I remember he always sleep in his crib in my mom and dad bedroom until he was about 1-2 year and then he had his own room. He never cried. I remember vividly he was a pious baby, seldom fussing. 

[ocelotmom]

Originally Posted by intange 

My mom Bf-ed all three of us for about 4 months, except my adopted youngest brother, that's what she told me. She wean because her milk 'dried up' I'm not sure how it can happen in reality, I'm BF-ing my 21 months DS without any 'drying' happen, thanks god. She never cio, as far as I remember. My youngest brother however was adopted, and he breastfed for a month by his biological mother before we adopted him. I remember he always sleep in his crib in my mom and dad bedroom until he was about 1-2 year and then he had his own room. He never cried. I remember vividly he was a pious baby, seldom fussing. 

3-4 months is a common time for this complaint. That's around the time milk production switches fully over to autocrine control - milk is produced as it's removed, instead of just being produced automatically as it is when the baby is first born. Because of this, women stop getting engorged or leaking, and in absence of better info, think their milk has dried up. A growth spurt, with the baby nursing frequently and being fussier than usual, can reinforce this idea, when in reality it's totally normal and not a problem.

This is also the time when supply problems tend to develop for women who are feeding their baby on a schedule, rather than on demand - their body produced enough when the milk was produced automatically, but they're not getting adequate stimulation to produce more if they're only feeding every 3-4 hours or whatever. (This could also be an issue for women who went back to work around 12 weeks and weren't able to pump quite frequently enough.)

[rparker]

My mother breastfed myself and my sister for a year each, no formula/bottles. She also let us cry it out. I do think that seeing her breastfeed my sister helped to normalize breastfeeding for me. It never occurred to me not to breastfeed. Not doing cry it out with my children, on the other hand, was also a no-brainer... so maybe she didn't have that much influence after all. 

[Lisa1970]

My mother did not breastfeed or even hold me or spend time with me. I was shipped to relatives as an infant. I know I lived with her again by kindergarten, but even then, she never really spoke to me, unless she had to. And then it was to be angry. She was angry if she had to be bothered at all. I am certain she would have done CIO with what little time she had me around. I was also in the hospital a lot during the little time she had me because she was a chain smoker and I kept getting pneumonia.

[azhie]

My mother didn't breastfeed all five of us. I think breastfeeding wasn't in fashion then, because my aunts didn't breastfeed my cousins either (most of us were born in the late '70s and '80s).

I chose to breastfeed after reading about all the benefits, and became very determined after attending a few LLL meetings. I felt it to be the right decision for me and baby. My dh was exclusively breastfed for 3 years so he supports me. I'm lucky enough to be able to spend this time with my baby, so I figure, why not? 

So my mother doesn't quite understand my decision to breastfeed exclusively and on demand, believing it to be spoiling the baby. Her argument is that all five of her kids turned out just fine being exclusively formula-fed on schedule, so it has to be good, whereas with breastfeeding, mother needs to put in that much time day and night to nurse baby. 

As for CIO, it seems that everyone around me believes that crying is good for the baby's lungs and disapproves of my responding to her cries by nursing. It is easy for everyone to say let the baby CIO when they are not the mother!

[mamaofthree]

my mom BF me until i was 6 weeks old and stopped when the ped told her i wasn't gaining enough and had her put me on formula with rice cereal at 6 weeks. i recently found out from my dad that her doctor told her when they took me home to put me in the crib and let me cry... at 2 days old! and they DID! but after the second day my dad said they couldn't take it and they always rocked me to sleep after that. my dad told me then that he was very glad we co-sleep with our kids. my mom BF my bro for 6 months and stopped when the ped said she needed to push more food and formula. i can't remember if the used CIO with him, my guess is they didn't. we didn't co-sleep though.

i guess in some ways how i was parented has led me to parent the way i do. i bf because i do remember my mom doing it and because a SIL did and she was a huge support. but over all i think i parent differently then my mom and it upsets her because she thinks i am judging her.

ETA: after i had ds#1 my grandma came to visit and she told me she only nursed her first dd for 6 weeks and it was so bad that she didn't nurse any of her other children (she had 5 daughters). i think she might have used CIO, but i don't know. she did think i held my kids too much, but then she always wanted to hold them. strangely my grandma (both actually) were awesome. maybe they felt more pressure being a parent, then being a grandparent.

[yearner-learner]

My mom always told me she had breastfed all four of her children, of which I am the youngest. I knew we had all had bottles, too.. because there were MANY pictures of us with bottles, but I had assumed she did both.

Well, when I asked her as an adult, after my guy was born, she said she only nursed us 'occasionally' in the hospital, felt very uncomfortable doing it, especially around relatives, and stopped.

She says she is supportive of me nursing my son, but she is constantly asking (she lives out of state) if I am STILL nursing him, when I am going to give him formula, am I going to stop now that he has teeth, etc..he is 8 months old and I will nurse him as long as he needs.

I thought she must have been a bit 'alternative' because she used cloth diapers on me almost exclusively, I was born in 1987.. but when I asked her about it, she said she did it because it was easier.. she used a diaper service and never had to run out and buy diapers. She also said it was cheaper than disposables.

My parents did CIO ALL.THE.TIME... I know for a fact, because everyone in my family does it. I am 24 years old, and all my relatives still tell me how I would never "give in and go to sleep" when I was put in my crib. I would cry for hours before exhausting myself and passing out. Even as an older child, I remember hyperventilating, OFTEN, while locked in my room because of some 'bad' thing I did. I would cry until I vomited. They refused to acknowledge me, except taunting me, which made it worse.

I had terrible nightmares, and knew I could never enter my parents room at night, so I slept in the hallway near their door.

Both of my parents say they don't regret it. They said they didn't want 'spoiled' children and that we all grew up to be well adjusted, independent adults.

I co-slept with my 3 year old, until the day his baby brother was born (older boy was 2y,10m) and everyone told me I was creating a monster, he wouldn't adjust, etc.. well, he transitioned just find into his own toddler bed, at the foot of my bed. He has absolutely no sleep issues, goes to sleep without a fuss, if he wakes up at night, he will come to my bed and sleep with me and the baby. When the baby was tiny, I didn't allow him in my bed, though he never fussed about it. 

I think it's impossible not to be influenced by how you were raised.. either you parent how you were parented or you parent the opposite.

I will never let my children CIO, I will ALWAYS comfort them when they need it, they will ALWAYS know I love them and I am there for them. They are always welcome in my bed. I spent most of my childhood scared or upset, I am not joking.

[yearner-learner]

I wanted to add something interesting.. my grandma had 8 children, they are like.. 64 - 45 years old. She didn't breastfeed ANY of them, not ONCE. She said no one she knew breastfed, and the doctors just gave a shot to dry up the milk. She used corn syrup mixed with evaporated milk, but had to use 'that expensive formulated' stuff on my dad (2nd youngest) because he wasn't gaining weight.

I was so surprised that it was 'unheard' of to breastfeed back then.. especially in a poor family in South Dakota!

We have come a long way, but breastfeeding still isn't as accepted as it should be.

[Sharon, RN]

My mother did not breastfeed any of her children, generally because he doctor told her she shouldn't if she was uncomfortable with "things hanging on her breasts."    Goodness, what married woman in the 70's was going to say to her OB, "Oh, I love having my breasts fondled and having things hanging off of them!"  Nice.

My mother stayed with my for 3 months after DS#2 was born, and she was a godsend.  Very supportive of BF (as she had been with DS#1), co-sleeping, baby wearing (even put on the Moby), etc.  Despite her OB (grrrr!) she lucked into a good pediatrician who advised her AGAINST letting babies CIO or feeding on a schedule.  He told her babies had their own schedules, and she needed to answer to their needs.  She said that with her first 3, my parents co-slept for about 6 months because they enjoyed it, and then we were moved to a crib.  Her 4th, my younger sister, died of SIDS (during a nap) , and #5 (my younger brother) not only co-slept with my parents, but they would take shifts so that at least 1 of them was awake all night to watch him sleep.  I don't know how long they did that, at least a year if not more.