Is this a 3 yo dropping the nap? Or a mama running out of ideas? Or both?

[LCBMAX]

My son is a just-turned 3 year old, and he's never never never gotten enough sleep - and I say "not enough" because he is so much happier and energetic on the rare occasions he sleeps well. He's always slept on the lowest end of whatever range is suggested (9.5 if the range is 10 - 12, etc.) He is finally sleeping past 5:30 am, in fact he's swinging much closer to 6:30 these days, and going to sleep around 8:45 - 9:15 (bedtime starts around 7:45 - 8.) Ok, so nights are about 10 hours +, and if he's at school he might nap as much as 1 1/2 hours, but at home - s  t    r     u   g  g   l   e  ! And when he does nap at home, an hour is a max. This is all to say that I hate for the nap to end because a. I need the break so badly, and b. I just don't see him adding on another 90 minutes of sleep to the nights, especially not as summer light moves along.

The naps were 1 1/2 - 2 1/2 hours regularly, at home and at school until recently when all the stars collided - we started eliminating the last few nursing sessions (only 2 - 3 bedtime minutes remain) and we lost most of our school schedule - from 3 days a week down to 1. This all happened about 4 weeks ago. Since then I've had about 3 successes napping him at home by using the rhythm of the school nap (same flow from lunch to toilet to bed, same book, etc.) I have more regular success with napping him in the stroller, but it can take up to an hour of messing around walking together before he's willing to get in, and then the reward is just the one hour. God knows I need the exercise, but actually my knee can't handle the walk each day, and the weather has been harsh to tolerate with the headcolds we've all had (whinge whine whinge.) Also, we totally have to get him up by 3 so that bedtime doesn't get later - there just aren't enough hours in the day to finagle him into the stroller in good time. A few times we've resorted to a car nap - they go 20 - 60 minutes.

He's not a kid that will stay in a room by himself for more than 10 minutes, and if I'm there, he'll wrastle and play and start jumping around. I've tried starting the nap earlier, it still happens but it's a short one. On those days and when I just give up the battle and skip it, we can rely on multiple meltdowns between 5:30 and bedtime, and falling asleep actually gets delayed. 

Today went more or less well - for him. He had a 20 minute car nap from 3 - 3:20 and no struggle at bedtime, no meltdowns. For me.... blech. No rest, no lunch, no nada. And if we hadn't been at the beloved carwash when he woke up, I don't know if there would have been happiness. Usually the hour after nap wake up is whimpery, fragile, sad.

Given that he really doesn't tolerate well the evenings after a skipped nap, and that he's soooo much happier when he "oversleeps" it just seems unlikely to me that this is the dreaded Dropping of the Nap. But what do I know? I LOVE the nap, I NEED the nap, so perhaps my vision is clouded.

What do you think? What else should I try? I am desperate.

(ps bedroom is blackout curtained, white noise, no toys)

Thank you!!!

[ElsieLC]

My sympathies. I used to think that when a kid dropped a nap, it was because they were ready to last all afternoon without being cranky. Ha!

I found this thread helpful for giving me ideas on what to do instead of a nap. I also needed permission to be frustrated as a mom without that break.

I do park DD in front of a favorite movie instead of quiet time (which she won't do) when I need to get stuff done, or I doze on the sofa next to her while she watches. It's on the list of Things I Swore I'd Never Do As A Parent, but that list is growing.

We also do Snooze Cruises in the car when there absolutely has to be a nap because of upcoming evening activities. I have a large tote bag that I always bring along that's stocked with my planner, a book, pens and pencils, so I can pull over when DD falls asleep and get stuff done from the front seat or just enjoy a rest.

[MomtoDandJ]

Since he's three he's probably (I'm so sorry to say it!!!) dropping the nap. I know what you mean about loving the nap as a parent, so maybe you can try "quiet time" in his bedroom so you can get a little break. We got our son one of the clocks that change color at a certain time (the parent sets) so he knows he needs to stay in his room (whether or not he's napping) until the clock turns green. It took him a few days to figure it out and he kept popping out asking if quiet time was over. But now he gets it and it's pretty helpful.

And on the days I need a little extra time, I just set his clock to not turn green until a half our later. He doesn't realize it's a longer "quiet time" and I get a little extra time. So sneaky, right???

[LCBMAX]

Oh, be careful what you say...

ElsieLC - thanks for pointing me to that thread where I saw my own glib answers right off, from way back when last fall when this was only a minor 4 x/month kind of issue for me, instead of the daily struggle we have now. Ouch. But seriously, thanks for your reply - we have adopted the term Snooze Cruise, and I am learning new streets that I never knew existed. I listen to podcasts with earbuds which has the added benefit of drowning out the insipid lullaby on repeat.

And MomtoDandJ - I actually have one of those clocks, and we got it to extend the morning sleep, which really did work. I forgot all about the nap function thing - I will definitely pull it back out and try again. Maybe that sleeping bunny can help.

[UmmIbrahim]

hahaha, yah my son is 4...stopped all naps at 3 1/2...it has been VERY rough, he wakes up at 6am...and runs around crazy at home until like 10pm...needless to say im exhausted, frustrated and sometimes just wonder why people have kids...LOL

But yah, I also now and again do the UBER bad parent-turn on a movie and sleep routine...cuz he wont do quiet time.

[Yuba_River]

Have you tried moving bedtime up? My DS dropped his nap last summer when he turned 3, and while the transition was very rough, the pay-off was super quick and early bedtimes. He was always a terrible sleeper, but he sleeps the best ever now, and we were able to move bed up enough that he actually gets more sleep than he did when he napped. We would aim for lights out by 7:15 and he was asleep by 7:30. That has crept later recently, but he still falls asleep much easier than when he napped. Mid-afternoon is still tough and somewhat cranky, sadly. We do stories, books on CD, occasional episodes of Mr Rogers, and if I need a break I give home the option of playing quietly on his own or resting in bed, which does usually lead to some quiet play.


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