This has been an issue for me my whole life, but it has really been bad the past few months, (after my first dating experience since my divorce ended with me basically being dumped for no reason.) I took it very badly and have been having a lot of self defeating thoughts such as...I am worthless because I was dumped and if I were just prettier, smarter, thinner, more fun to be around etc the guy I was dating would have wanted to stay with me. I am determined not to start dating again until I deal with this. I feel like I need to be happy on my first first, but before this guy I really thought I was and felt really good about where my life was going. I hate that I let something like this control the way I feel about myself. I am embarrassed that I have let it get me down so much and that I have been so crushed and destroyed by it. I want to love myself and have confidence but I just don't know how to go about working on it. Anyone have any suggestions?
My Ex Husband was abusive and was my first serious relationship (we got together when we were 18) and so I think that a lot of things that he had told me (that no one would ever want me and that I have nothing to offer anyone) are coming back to haunt me. I just want to get to the point where I don't feel like I have to settle and do anything/everything to make a guy happy and want to be with me. I never take my own wants and needs into consideration in a relationship and I need to start doing that. In the future if I get dumped I want to be able to let it roll off my back and say oh well it is his loss. This is so frustrating! I just hate feeling this way! :(