I'm really frustrated with dh and this has gone on and off for years. He can do well with the kids and do fun things, seems to be better bonded with our older son who has some issues (SPD, ADHD). However, there's nothing more important to me than being a good mother. I came from an emotionally abusive family and have been thinking about this for years before even getting married. Dh yells at the kids a lot, a lot. I grew up in a family where my parents yelled a lot and really did not want that for my family. He yells b/c he doesn't spend the time to follow through on expectations with the kids. They don't listen to him b/c he always starts low then escalates when they're not listening.
I can't tell you *how* many times I've talked this over with him. He's a smart guy but he still just doesn't get it and it frustrates me immensely esp since he grew up in a more stable family, 6 kids, very patient mother. It sets a very bad tone for our house and family and isn't teaching the kids the right way and that's what's so aggravating.
I feel so disheartened right now b/c I feel like I've tried so hard not tor repeat my parents or grandparents patterns only to find myself in this position raising my kids or my dh raising my kids similar to the way I was raised.
I wish, wish, wish, hope and pray every day that he will realize the connection to his actions and words and our children. Today in church the main meeting was talking about parenting, the importance, etc. I could tell he wasn't paying any attention at all. He just wants results of them to do what he's saying without spending the time to help them respect him. I can see where this is all going with the kids when they're teenagers= very rebellious teenagers, like I was. Why can't he see this.
I've honestly considered going my own direction. Would it be better to just get them out of that situation? The problem is that when he is patient with them...after our talks...then he can be great, it just doesn't last long.
I honestly feel abandoned by God in my life. I always used to rely on him for answers re: deep, tough issues but I've prayed for years over this one and seen absolutely no action. Very frustrating.