I have beautiful 5 year old daughter, that im almost *certain* has ADHD. She can be very loving child and shes far smarter and more advanced then most children her age- but I have to be honest with you all: shes driving us bonkers!
This behavior began about 4 months BEFORE I became pregnant with my son and it seemed to happen suddenly. I began thinking that something might be 'wrong' when she was 3. She stood in our front yard yelling " I HATE YOU!!!" for about 20 minutes..all because i wouldnt wear the shoes that she wanted me to wear. That was 2 years ago and things have gotten much worse.
Below is a list of her behavior and some examples:
1) SEVERE mood swings: She will be very happy and laughing one minute and then suddenly ( in the middle of laughing even) she will began crying ( and i mean SOBBING and screaming ) saying something like " I want to be a baby again! " Or some other topic that isnt being discussed at the moment. She will also have a FULL BLOWN fit because something smells bad and will cry for an hour or so about it. She has also began screaming and crying before because ' she didnt like the way her nails looked.'
NOTE: We are a very open family. We talk about our emotions openly and give many hugs and kisses. We dont spank: we use time outs and such but it doesnt seem to help her.
2) Pooping problems: This issue began when she was 3, around the time when her behaviour began to change. She began holding in her poop for WEEKS at a time. I took her to the doc and he put her on miralax- and nothing happended. He later told me that it was related to her behaviour, and i believe so myself. Today alone, i have changed her panties 6 times. She holds her poop in so long that she soils herself. I make her sit on the potty a few times a day, but she will scream and yell at the top of her lungs and kick and hit and such. We have tried EVERYTHING to help this problem, we've tried to make her go with mineral oil ( huge mess) and many other things.
Sometimes she will poop on her own and ask for privacy, which i give her. When i go in to check on her, she has wiped poop all over the counters and the toilet. And sorry if TMI- but when she does poop, its HUGE because she holds it in so long.
NOTE: To me it seems like she just cant sit still long enough to get finished. We have tried changing her diet, giving her rewards and giving her tons of praise when she allows herself to poop- nothing works. I have talked to her MANY times about the importance of listening to your body and doing what it asks you to do. She understands that this act is unhealthy for her, but she continues. The doctor has checked her out many times because of this and he has ruled out any medical problem that is causing this. We have taken her to a specialist- he said the same thing: behaviour. I swear if i get called to the school one more time because she smells like poop and needs new panties...im going to scream.
3) CANT sit still/ listen/ focus: She finds it IMPOSSIBLE to sit still even for a few minutes. She always climbing on things that shes knows not to clinb on, she has to be moving constantly. Shes always jumping or rolling. She will NOT let you finish a senetance when youre talking, even after getting into trouble many times. I try to make what im saying as brief and direct as possible, but she will interupt and ask things like " What kinda gum are you chewing? " or " whats daddys middle name? ". Ive also noticed that she cannot hold eye contact long at all. In the past week, she hasnt given me eye contact for longer than 30 seconds. She also makes loud noises suddenly and barks demands at others in a very hateful tone. She also cannot play with one toy or do one thing for more than a few minutes. Also, i have noticed that she may be pretty calm when its just the family here, but if we have a visitor over she will start bouncing off of the walls and i have to send her to her room just about every time.
NOTE: She has alot of time to burn out her energy. She goes to school and is very active outside here at all everyday. We include her in all activitys. Nothing seems to help her calm down. She has a stable routine, including warm lavender baths at night before bed, followed by story time ( which I can never finish because she wont sit still or be quite.)
4) HURTS people: On more than one occasion, the has hurt both myself and her little brother. She will ask " mommy, would it hurt if i________ed you? " and i say something like ' yes of course, that wouldnt be poliet at all." She will say somehting like " ok" and walk off for just a few minutes, come back and do EXACTLY what you told her would hurt. Then, she will cry and run off because she knows that automatic time out.
5) DOESNT SLEEP WELL: She tosses and turns all night as well as screams and talks in her sleep. Then she will wake up SUPER early and be in a horrible mood. She hasnt slept well in a long time.
6) SUPER picky eater: I cant hardly get her to eat very much at all. If it looks different or smells different to her in any way, she will freak out even if you ask her if she would atleast like to try a bite before deciding if she likes it. There are only a handful of things that she will eat. She takes mutivitames everyday.
We really dont know what to do anymore. Her behaviour is really doing a number on this family. Its getting harder and harder for me to have a break from her because people simply dont want to keep her. They often tell me ' i think somethings wrong with her' and as a mom not only is that scary, but it really hurts. We cant even take her out to eat with us because if her food 'doesnt look right' on her plate, she will have a full blown melt down. We gave up on eating out quite a few months ago.
Her little brother looks up to her very much. He doesnt have any problems like this at all and he is quite the opposite, but i am worried that he will try to copy her and pick up her behaviour..and i CANNOT handel 2 children that acts in that manner. We really do feel like we're at the end of out ropes here. Her behaviour is effecting her school, her family, even my relationship with my husband because im always so exausted and stressed.
I am making another appointment with her doctor for next week so maybe he can refer her to someone or something. I really just dont know what to do anymore. Nothing that we have tried as parent has worked and it seems to get worse and worse. I feel like a bad mom sometimes because when someone does agree to keep her, just the relief of her being gone is enough to make me sob.
Please ladies, your opinions would really help me right now.
Thanks very very much in advance.
PS: Sorry for any typing mistakes, i am very tired.