Maybe it's because its I am a new SAHP but we don't think so black and white nor are we keeping score on who does what.
Our "jobs" are pretty much broken up into our strengths but each of us picks up the slack when needed.
It's really REALLY hard not to keep score when you have been up every hour of every night for over a week with a teething baby.
I feel like, if I were him, I would be so darn glad I was getting to sleep and not have to up all night. I would at least attempt to help when I could.
The thing is.... my DH does NOT pick up on any slack. If there is ever anything I can't do, I have to ask him nicely to do it, and he does it- but sulks. He is not the type that clearly sees the heavy load of laundry needs to be carried down, the sink piling up, the crumbs, the unmade beds, towels all over the floor.............
He just floats around and over these things.
Because of this, I don't ask for much.
Our "jobs" are also broken up into our strengths and most of the time I am very happy doing what I am doing.
I just get very hurt about his attitude on whose job what is. It bothers me that he just takes it all for granted. I've told his this a million times.
Nothing changes and every once in a while I become resentful.
However since you got that kind of response from your husband and since you said you are pretty organized have you thought about feeding the freezer and/or doing some creative cooking that would give you a break a few times a week? For example its just as easy to roast two chickens as it is to roast one. One can be used for a weekday/weekend meal and the other can be turned into chicken salad, burritos, quesidilla, pot pie, etc.
Yes, I do this kind of thing and I'm good at managing the kitchen, food inventory, meal planning.......
The making ahead is what I'm going to have to do more of.
It's not even the work that upsets me. It's the fact I have had to live my whole life figuring things out for myself (since I was a child), figuring out how to be okay. I wanted more from my partner. It hurts to know that I never had and never will have someone to "take care of me" even for 1 hour of my life.
This is kind of dramatic and this is a sore spot for me, probably due to past injuries.
Lack of sleep makes me shaky and VERY sensitive.
DH is actually a good guy. He loves us all and works hard to make money to support us. I am generally happy with him and wouldnt trade him. I know he wants me to be happy, but he just never quite "gets" things.