The hardest thing about parenting a baby is . . . . - Page 2

[holothuroidea]

Originally Posted by SilverFish 

the worst part for me is feeling SO ANGRY when she is screaming at me. i hate loud noises and having her lose her temper on me is my absolute worst thing. i feel bad about my reaction but i have had moments of us both just screaming at each other... fortunately really really rare, but still ick. mostly when i'm sick, or we're both sick, or i'm on my own at night for some reason. had no idea i would ever feel so frustrated with one tiny little person... i guess cause i feel i can't just walk away and ignore her?

sleep deprivation, no time for myself, those things are hard too, sometimes.

Mama, I hear you. Unfortunately the only fix is a complete paradigm shift. I know that the baby is not doing anything TO me, she is just a baby. Nor is she loosing her temper, because she has no temper to loose!! Another unfortunate thing is that knowing this does nothing to make me feel better when it happens.

The absolute hardest thing for me is the constant strain on my emotional stamina. Everything feels too much. I'm way too sad when she cries, and way too happy when she smiles. It's all very exhausting for someone who grew up in a home where emotions were not welcome.

[heybabyquepaso]

Yes. Sleep. Not remembering the last time I really had a great, full night's sleep. Coupled with feeling like I am the only one who can truly care for him, so that I can't relax to be apart from him.

I hate the tension it's caused in my marriage. We love each other and things are good but I still struggle with resentment that my husband goes to work everyday and sometimes I feel like he has no idea what it's like to care for a baby all day. And the hormones and exhaustion. It's hard, you know?

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by heybabyquepaso 

Yes. Sleep. Not remembering the last time I really had a great, full night's sleep. Coupled with feeling like I am the only one who can truly care for him, so that I can't relax to be apart from him.

I hate the tension it's caused in my marriage. We love each other and things are good but I still struggle with resentment that my husband goes to work everyday and sometimes I feel like he has no idea what it's like to care for a baby all day. And the hormones and exhaustion. It's hard, you know?

I generally get enough sleep these days, but I so get the rest of this post. And a lot of times, I am the only one who can take care of Cecilia, because she has tremendous separation anxiety. Papa is great for playing and giggling with, but it's all about Mama when it comes to comfort.

And yes, a thousand times to your second paragraph as well.

[Erin77]

In the short term, sleep, definitely. I wish I could just sleep all night and get up when I feel like it, even if it were just once. I have not done it since my son was born and I got up 5x a night to pee the last 3 months I was pregnant so it's been... 9 months? Argh. In the long term, I hate the idea that I can't just go traveling solo when I want to anymore. I mean, I CAN, but now it's different, because my baby needs me and will miss me and won't understand why I want to go. My husband missed me, of course, before we had our son but he knew I loved to go overseas and he understood. 

[Snapdragon]

I'll add another one! I find it REALLY hard when (on days like today :( ) ds is in  angry mode- where he yells and screams at me much of the day, and basically makes unhappy angry noises all day long- and I am over tired and then trying to calm him down, get him to rest, get him to be happy - and all the while he is "yelling at me".  I lose my patience and get unhappy about it. I start feeling resentful of him in those moments. Much of the time he is a peaceful baby but lots of times also he gets angry and kind of aggressive- even though I am doing everything I possibly can to make him happy- and that is frustrating!!

.

Edited by Snapdragon - 3/23/11 at 7:05pm

[JFTB1177]

Erin77- I second the sleep thing, omg!!! I haven't had decent sleep since my 2nd kid was born 2 years ago! :(

[Adaline'sMama]

For me the hardest part is feeling isolated. DH works seasonally and has just started to go back to work 120% full time. Its hard being alone with a baby all day long. At the end of the day I just want to do something that makes me feel like an adult, and talk to someone about things that dont relate to the baby or chores or things that are required of me as a SAHM.

Also, its really hard for me to ever get anything like our taxes done. I can read forums and emails and stuff while shes nursing or on my lap, but things like taxes require 100% of my attention, which is hard when she requires 80%.

[juliedueinjuly]

Reading this thread is making me feel so much better.  The hardest thing for me is feeling like no matter what I do, it's wrong.  And then when something goes right (baby is happy, takes a long nap, whatever) I obsess about what it was that I did THAT TIME that made it happen.  Of course, it was probably nothing I did or didn't do...baby is just growing and changing so fast that only she knows what she needs, and even if I figured it out it would have changed already anyway.

Constantly second guessing myself is exhausting.  Oh yeah, and no sleep.  I made tuna melts the other day and put them in the dishwasher instead of the toaster oven.

[luckiest]

for me, it isn't the lack of sleep itself - in fact, i'm always amazed at how great i feel even when waking to feed our 4 mo old 4-5 times a night.  it's the sleep ADVICE.  people seem horrified that he isn't sleeping through the night, even though we regularly get a 4-hour stretch.  i've been told to get him out of our bed, not nurse him back to sleep, schedule him, even to give him a bottle of formula at night and ferberize him!!  

everyone else seems to have a problem with his sleeping but DH and me!

but actually, the hardest thing lately seems to be feeling like i'm not doing "enough."  since i'm home with the baby now, i've been putting pressure on myself to do everything - laundry, cleaning, groceries, cooking, plus caring for a wonderful but energy-draining 4 mo.  there is only so much i can do during nap time!

[heybabyquepaso]

but actually, the hardest thing lately seems to be feeling like i'm not doing "enough."  since i'm home with the baby now, i've been putting pressure on myself to do everything - laundry, cleaning, groceries, cooking, plus caring for a wonderful but energy-draining 4 mo.  there is only so much i can do during nap time!

. And the second-guessing that the poster right before you mentioned. I don't even think the "enough" part is from my husband. Whenever I talk to him about it, it's not like he feels like I'm this lazy bum or anything. But I feel like I have to be super-mom and do all of these things. It gets tough.

[luckiest]

Originally Posted by heybabyquepaso 

. And the second-guessing that the poster right before you mentioned. I don't even think the "enough" part is from my husband. Whenever I talk to him about it, it's not like he feels like I'm this lazy bum or anything. But I feel like I have to be super-mom and do all of these things. It gets tough.

Totally, my husband seems impressed that i can find time to shower and eat lunch during the day, so there's no pressure from him.  We're doing all we can!

[nm7300]

...feeling really tired, worried, stressed out, and guilty ALL THE TIME!

Having absolutely no time...to be alone (ever), to read/do yoga/talk on the phone/all the things I used to love doing. :(

Realizing that I am yelling at my beautiful baby, the same way that my father yelled at me & my brothers & my mother (& he still yells at my mother), which is #1 on my list of things I never, ever thought I'd do. :( x 1,000

Not living near family or close friends, so everything falls on DH & me, and we're both really...depleted.

(Thanks for this thread...it's always reassuring to hear that other parents feel the same way & I'm not the worst mother ever!)

[whozeyermamma]

.. today I have to add another one:

Never getting to finish anything .... My work is half-done, dishes  - half done, laundry- half-done - maybe I'll start playing a card game with DD then baby wakes up from nap or gets too fussy.

Ugh.

oh and nm7300 - everyone loses it now and then. Don't be too hard on yourself. Take a deeeeep breath. Love yourself.