Parenting goals

[rightkindofme]

I very seriously don't want to debate the merits of these goals (my own or anyone else's) so I hope this can be a yay everyone kind of thread. :)

What kinds of things do you specifically hope you will give your children?  If you think about it, what are kind of the top, most important things for you to impart?  My life hit the fan a little over 6 weeks ago and I've been thinking about this topic a lot since then.  I was curious what other people thought. :)

[HollyBearsMom]

As trite as it sounds I want to raise a child who grows into a happy, healthy, productive adult who cares deeply for his friends, his family and the world around him. Those are the traits I hope I am modeling for him and that he will appreciate and continue in his own life.





(and I hope that he finds love with a person who doesn't hate me.....)

[rachieface]

I want my son to respect others.  I hope that he loves God and loves people.  
 

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

(and I hope that he finds loves with a person who doesn't hate me.....)

This too!  

[rightkindofme]

:)  I do actually breathe a small breath of relief that I will never have a daughter in law.  (Well, I suppose I could.  But a lesbian daughter in law is fairly likely to get along with me.) 

I think that for me one of the things that I want most for my kids is that they trust their inner compass.  If you do your job right and teach them all the other things about morals and ethics, they just need to trust themselves, right?

[lifeguard]

I hope I can impart strength on my children. Strength to be themselves, to not be doormats, to be assertive without hurting others & to follow their dreams.

[meemee]

i have none. 

with my life experience i feel what i impart and what my child gets from me are two different things.

once i had my child i tell you my relationship with my mom completely changed. i carried so much hurt and pain. i could not forgive why my mom could not figure out how i wanted to be loved, rather than how she could show her love for me. 

so i live moment to moment doing the best i can at that moment. i cant aim at anything. i see my role as offering my child a whole bunch of options. 

what can she be? who knows. it is not in my hands - i feel.

however the most important key for me has been truly connecting with dd and being emotionally present so even if i screw up she knows that i truly loved her. 

she is a wonderful child (outstanding with people) and many including ex's family thank me for doing such a good job. i think part of who she is - is herself. i have just set the play field so she can shine. you know the nature/nurture debate. 

however parenting has been a huge selfish thing for me. it hasnt been so much about dd, but what i think is necessary for her. for instance i didnt do CIO because it was bad for her, it was because i just could not bear to be apart from her and let her CIO. kwim?!! in a sense i have parented for myself - not so much for dd. doing for her made me happy and so i did it!!!

the only one thing i did care when dd was younger that she not inherit the mental illness that is on both sides of the family. as she grew older even that need washed away. even if she inherits it, she will never be alone. 

[physmom]

Curiosity and a passion for whatever she wants to do in life.  I hope that she's someone who always questions her environment and thinks for herself (yes, and that means I fully expect her to question all of our decisions when she becomes a teenager! ).  I also want her to look past other's differences and treat people kindly. 

Also that she does find happiness in a partner someday (and I really like what a PP said, one that doesn't hate me :D). 

I do hope that if she decides to have children someday that she breastfeeds and doesn't do CIO. I have to admit that these are things that are very important to me and I would be sad if she choose not to do them.  That being said I would be pretty shocked if she didn't breastfeed considering she's been nursing her dolls forever and was a total nursing addict.

But, honestly, most of that is what I see in her personality already.  She's a very stubborn child, very opinionated and definitely has a zest for life.  She's constantly asking questions and is genuinely kind to other kids (now that we're finally past the hitting stage!).  So maybe I love those traits in her and I hope to nurture them further? Or maybe those are some of the good traits that I see in DH and myself that we're hoping she inherits too?  Most likely it's probably a bit of both. 

[ellemenope]

Originally Posted by physmom 

Curiosity and a passion for whatever she wants to do in life.  I hope that she's someone who always questions her environment and thinks for herself (yes, and that means I fully expect her to question all of our decisions when she becomes a teenager! ).  I also want her to look past other's differences and treat people kindly.  

That's really lovely.

I also liked what you said about nuturing who she is.  That is how I feel about DD.  I tell her almost everyday that I can see inside her heart and that there is so much good in there.  She believes me.  And, it is truly how I feel.  We just need to let her blossom.

[A&A]

I love the Rascal Flatts' song "My Wish."  My wish for you is that your life becomes all that you want it to be......may your dreams stay big and your worries stay small............

[StoriesInTheSoil]

Good thread, rightkindofme!

I want my kids to always know with certainty that they are deeply loved and valued by me, my DH, and a lot of other people in their lives. I want them to understand that people have intrinsic worth and I want to teach them to be kinder and less judgmental than I can sometimes tend to be. I want them to be happy and healthy and I want to help them succeed in their goals.

I'm also trying to let them pursue their own areas of interest as opposed to mine (well DS at least- he wants to play ice hockey which is totally not my thing and freaks me out a bit but I'm going to let him try it.). My mom was not very good at this particular thing. She was very open that we could really only do things that she liked/valued. I've noticed that she is a lot more nurturing of DS' individual interests and I wonder if it is because she is a grandma or because he is little.

[contactmaya]

My goal is to meet their needs whatever they may be and to the extent that i am capable. In the long term, this translates to my fascilitating circumstances where their needs are met adequately. Hopefully, this will form the foundation for their happiness and well being, and the foundation from which they can contribute to the well being of others.

Sigh...do i have that much power? All i can do is my best. That is my goal.

[goinggreengirl]

I want my kids to know, without a doubt, that their father and I love them- no matter the choices they make.

I want to pass on a strong faith and belief in God.

I want them to inherit mine (and DH's) drive and our inability to allow others to sway our choices.

I want them to be happy and stay close (emotionally) to family.

And I ditto that they find true love (I'm watching Shrek right now, haha) with a wonderful person who meshes well with our family and enjoys being with us.

[rightkindofme]

Yay. These are lovely goals. :)