How old is your dd? It's a bit hard to give advice not knowing where she might be developmentally, but my main thought from what you've said above is: you should work on modeling what you hope your daughter will be like. It's almost that simple.
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What does your daughter do that drives you nuts? And from what you say, it sounds like you handle those same things the same ways she does? It's no suprise at all that that's true, we all know kids are sponges and absorb absorb absorb!
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So what are you doing to handle yourself and your own reactions to better model how you hope your child will be? And really, it's much bigger than that... are you being the person in the world that you want to be? I think it's Gandhi who said "Be the change you want to see in the world". It's bigger than your dd, but she is your mirror and you might want to look at how you react to the world, why those are your reactions, and what you can do to re-program yourself to react in what you consider to be a healthier, more productive way.
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What you model will have an impact on your child more than anything you could say... and last thing, if she's old enough, also tell her about your struggle to change (in age appropriate terms) - tell her why you're trying to be different, why it's important, what you hope to achieve. That's also modeling for her that how ever you are, it's not too late to try to be different/better.
