(This thread is not directed towards anyone on this board. It is not a statement against homebirths or the like. I'm not wanting to debate the pros and cons of hospital verses home, I am wanting validation that my "friend" is a big old bully!)
I will be having a hospital birth. Maybe a c-section, maybe not, it is a wait and see how things go. I am okay with this, as long as my individual medical concerns are being addressed and there isn't a big ol' stamp across my forehead or chart that subjects me to unnecessary surgury or interventions. That being said, with my medical issues, I am very content with things being in the hospital.
A woman I went to high school with has had all three of her babies at home. I mentioned to her that I was pregnant. One of the first friends I have told, actually. When she inquired about the plan for birth, I told her that I was seeing an OB whose practice I was comfortable with and would be delivering at a hospital less than a mile from my home. Her response? "Oh, I'm so sad for you! That sounds just awful!"
Okay. Back up.
I know some women have had bad hospital experiences. I am not discounting that. But to say that the birth of my child will be AWFUL merely due to the location is so freaking offensive.
So, I tried to explain to her that homebirth isn't really an option for everyone. Due to being a t1 diabetic, I called midwives just out of curiosity and was pretty much told that I was risked out. Period. Curiosity satisfied. I told her I was really really okay with that. Not to mention, even if I was perfectly healthy, last time I checked, the hospital was still a valid option for bringing healthy, well adjusted children into the world.
She goes on to tell me that I am "being manipulated by a system that thinks pregnancy is an illness" and that it is "so sad for her to see baby's born into a place of sterile negativity". She goes on to say that EVERY woman she has known to give birth in a hospital has had CRIPPLING PPD, even psychosis due to their experience. Really? Crippling PPD? Every single one? Because I know that PPD is very common, but something tells me that if every woman who gave birth in a hospital became psychotic (rare), we'd know.
The real kicker that brought me to hanging up the phone after telling her to stay away and not contact me was "delivery is the first tangible way you let you child know you love it, to take that away seems so damaging."
I am thrilled she had positive homebirthing experiences. I have had friends who have had very positive hospital experiences as well. I just don't get where it is "okay" for her to act like this. I'm so mad that she took something I was excited to share with her and completely trashed it.
And I'm sorry. Not eating sushi for nine months seems like a pretty darned tangible act of love!