Oh man.....I am so sad and angry AND hopeful for you!
I had an abortion years ago and I don't regret it, it was for many of the same reasons you named. Then, my daughter was an unexpected pregnancy and now I simply cannot.imagine.life.without.her. So, I see both sides. I am not religious whatsoever but things like this make me feel like the universe is spinning and sending us blessings in disguise. I hope, if this is indeed a viable pregnancy and you choose to keep this child, there will be a day in the not-so-distant future when you feel a deep gratitude for the way things turned out. And if things go the other way, I hope the same for you.
You haven't done anything wrong here and your boyfriend has no grounds to blame you or be angry with you....Unfortunately, men just seem to have a much harder time with all these things.
I think if you can get him to talk honestly about this, and share your fears and worries, you can get through this together. And if he won't deal....well....honestly, you don't need another person to take care of right now. He needs to be a real partner here.
Originally Posted by ConcernedKate
We do not currently know how much damage there could be both because of the abortion attempt and because of my actions being unaware that I was pregnant. I've been doing everything wrong, I had no idea I wasn't yet alone in my body! So- I had sushi nights. I drank cocktails. I stress chain smoked, and Oh dear lord the Caffiene!!!! But maybe it could be worse though, right? I didn't do coke or crack or anything remotely illegal drugs. So, that's a plus? Maybe?
Oh honey....SO many of us have been there! 3/4 off the babies I know managed to survive at least a month of this sort of thing before their mothers realized they were pregnant. And there are women who drink/smoke/eat sushi through their whole pregnancy even after they know! Try not to worry about this too much!
From everything you have said, I think it's obvious that you are thoughtful and caring and want to provide your future children with the best love and care and circumstances....and I think that puts you ahead of ALOT of mothers out there.
I hope you will let us know what happens. In the meantime, I think everyone who has read this thread will be thinking of you.