Why do I do this????? ... a vent and a cry for help - Page 3

[sewaneecook]

I haven't read many of the posts, but one thing that I found interesting in your original post is that you spend a lot of time in the gym, but it seems like you only do one form of exercise.  When I only workout on the elliptical, I don't lose weight and I don't tone up very much.  I feel like I've gotten in a good workout, but it simply isn't effective for me as my only form of exercise.  I've found that doing a combo of strength and cardio (at the same time) to be some of the most effective workouts I've ever done.  Rather than just lifting an 8 pound weight, I combine it with doing squats.  Rather than just doing push-ups, I also do plenty of other moves in a push-up (or plank) position.  Plank jacks really help to strengthen, and get the heart rate up.  I don't just do leg raises, I combine it with other ab moves.  I can do a 20 minute cardio/strength training routine 3-5 days per week and it does more for me than 45 minutes 6 days per week on the elliptical.  A great place to start on this type of workout is the 30 Day Shred that Jillian Michaels does.  They are short workouts that make a quick difference.  When I do that type of workout a couple times a week and run 2-3 other days per week I notice a HUGE difference.

[bonjourmama]

Hi OP. I have a similar problem. I rarely admit it though. Even though you can see it just by looking at me.

Often times people who have never experienced overeating sort of have a "just deal with it" approach. Whether it stems emotionally or because of outward appearance whatever. I have been told many times "just fix it". 

This doesn't work! 

Something a pp said really resonated with me

Does it make you feel safe? Invisable? Does it mean that you don't have to do something that you don't want to do or are afraid to do?

In my particular situation I grew up in a home where my food intake was constantly watched by others. Every time I wanted something to eat or drink one of my parents would surely comment upon it. I was told constantly that I needed to watch what I ate, even though I was this adorable and normal kiddo. So, for me, overeating started a long time ago, as maybe a way to be rebellious. I also had an incredibly stressful and "unsafe" home life. Eating was comfort. Eating is comfort. 

Now, I am a mommy and still dealing with this ever present issue. Being a mommy is stressful. I find myself eating because it makes me feel good, gives me instant energy, and keeps me going. Sort of. Because it is also weighing me down. (As an aside I LOVE to cook so I am double whammy, a great cook and a great eater)

Anyways, I have absolutely nothing to share in the form of advice except to be gentle with yourself. Try to stay away from looking at things that make you feel unattractive. (Because I am sure you are beautiful. You are a woman after all)

Try to stay focused on the task at hand...which is mommy, who needs to be healthy for kiddo all the days of his/her life, or for as long as possible. This is what has been helping me. 

Wishing you the very best.

[Mulvah]

I think you got some great advice and suggestions.  I think food "issues" are so complex.  I wish you the best. 

Edited by Mulvah - 10/16/11 at 5:41pm

[HeatherAtHome]

delete

Edited by HeatherAtHome - 5/5/12 at 5:39am

[camracrazy]

I used to do a lot of snacking and emotional eating. I've really managed to cut down, but I have noticed myself doing it a little more again.

For me, I just wasn't happy with my situation at the time. My marriage wasn't where I wanted it to be. I loved my kids but didn't feel appreciated by them or my husband. I was in a place I never would have pictured myself being 10 years ago and frankly, I hardly ever made time for or did things just for myself. For instance I used to read all of the time, but I slowly stopped doing it because there just didn't seem to be enough time. Every time I would try to start a book, the kids would need me or something would come up and I never got to finish, so I just started doing it less and less. I also love photography but I hardly do that anymore. I didn't have any nice clothes that really made me feel good about myself because any time I had extra money for clothes I spent it on my kids to get them things they needed (I also thought that most things didn't fit or look right anyway because of the extra weight so why spend money on them?). I didn't feel good about myself and I didn't look good and I just rode that wave for far too long.

I finally decided to get serious about losing weight. I started going to the gym with a friend and that helped me stay motivated. I also started a low carb diet, which helped me A LOT with my urges to eat all of the time. I found that while I was doing low carb I was able to eat my meals and have small snacks without going overboard. It was surprising to me because I used to snack all of the time. The weight started to come off with the diet and exercise and I started to feel really good about myself. I threw out all the baggy, shapeless stuff I had been wearing and started wearing things that fit me better. I actually think people assumed I lost more weight than I did because I wasn't wearing huge clothes anymore! I got a nice haircut, starting wearing a little makeup everyday, and started wearing things like earrings which I hadn't worn in about 10 years. My husband even asked me if I was having an affair because I had made so many changes (in case anyone is wondering, the answer was NO! LOL)

My advice would be to try low carb to see if that helps with your urge to eat. I've noticed since I stopped doing it I am more likely to overeat or to think I want another helping when really, I don't need it (and my stomach feels stuffed and yucky afterwards!). Then if you aren't already doing nice things for yourself, start doing them. I never was a makeup girly girl but I find that I feel better about myself and look a lot better with some simple eye makeup and lip gloss. If you are wearing clothes that don't fit you well, donate them or trash them and get a few pieces that look great on you. I wouldn't go overboard because your shape will change as you drop the pounds and hopefully you will need much smaller clothes soon. Start doing a hobby that you used to love again or learn something that you've always wanted to try. When you are fully engaged in something you love to do eating is the last thing on your mind (well, unless your hobby was cooking or baking!!). I also find that simply getting out of the house reduces my urge to eat. If I am at home, the fridge and pantry are handy to just go and grab something but if I am at the park with my kids, at the library, or even just taking the dogs for a walk then food isn't accessible.

Good luck!!

[journeymom]

Argh. Silly computer.

[LeslieB]

Originally Posted by sewaneecook 

I haven't read many of the posts, but one thing that I found interesting in your original post is that you spend a lot of time in the gym, but it seems like you only do one form of exercise.  When I only workout on the elliptical, I don't lose weight and I don't tone up very much.  I feel like I've gotten in a good workout, but it simply isn't effective for me as my only form of exercise.  I've found that doing a combo of strength and cardio (at the same time) to be some of the most effective workouts I've ever done.  Rather than just lifting an 8 pound weight, I combine it with doing squats.  Rather than just doing push-ups, I also do plenty of other moves in a push-up (or plank) position.  Plank jacks really help to strengthen, and get the heart rate up.  I don't just do leg raises, I combine it with other ab moves.  I can do a 20 minute cardio/strength training routine 3-5 days per week and it does more for me than 45 minutes 6 days per week on the elliptical.  A great place to start on this type of workout is the 30 Day Shred that Jillian Michaels does.  They are short workouts that make a quick difference.  When I do that type of workout a couple times a week and run 2-3 other days per week I notice a HUGE difference.

This is kind of what I was thinking, as well. It's possible you've hit a plateau in your exercise. I'm a competitive runner so I do a lot of running, but I really mix it up. I even mix up my runs to long and slow, short and fast, hills, mountains, etc. Part of my current cross training involves Insanity by Beachbody and Spinning. Right now I'm training for a 50K and a marathon, both in April, but after they're done, I will go back to incorporating strength training (Chalean Extreme and P90X, also by Beachbody) into my workouts. I find that if I don't mix it up, I get bored, and my body gets "bored". What I love about the Beachbody programs (and Jillian Michaels, as PP meantioned) is that they give you a program to follow daily. It keeps you on track and will really it mix up your regular gym workouts. It really is fun!

It just seems like you're doing well with your diet. That's why I wonder if it isn't an exercise plateau. Don't fret on your "mistake". It's going to happen. I tend to finish my son's food even when I'm stuffed, and I always wonder why I just did that!!! Maybe it's something instinctual. :)

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move The extra weight served a purpose.

OP, let this rattle around in your brain for a while.  Don't force yourself to go anywhere.  Just sit with this idea.  And I agree with the the other poster who pointed out that you are obviously a thoughtful, introspective person.  You do have the capacity for this.

Don't make losing weight another thing you stress about.

Totally.  You have no doubt heard this before, but it took you a while to get to this present state -you won't get to a new, healthier state quickly.  You're not just losing weight, you're exchanging some long time bad habits for some new, life-long good habits. 

Kind of off topic:  Someone mentioned Spark People.  I just started using the calorie/fitness counter at Livestrong.com.  It sounds similar and I'm having similar revelations. I'm new to counting calories and didn't realize what a decent size portion is.  And I LOVE that when I see the calculator says I'm getting close to my calorie limit I can go walk for 20 minutes or run the vacuum around the house, enter it into the equation and hurrah! calories are subtracted.

[HollyBearsMom]

Hi everyone!  First of thank you for all the good advice and food for thought (pun intended!).

I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have decided to reduce the amount of sugar/carbs in my diet and increase the amount of protein. Since I am better when I start with some structure before branching out on my own I decided to follow the 17 day diet.  If you are interested in following me I am posting in the nutrition forum.

thanks!

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1308169/the-17-day-diet-a-journal#post_16385756

[camracrazy]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

Hi everyone!  First of thank you for all the good advice and food for thought (pun intended!).

I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have decided to reduce the amount of sugar/carbs in my diet and increase the amount of protein. Since I am better when I start with some structure before branching out on my own I decided to follow the 17 day diet.  If you are interested in following me I am posting in the nutrition forum.

thanks!

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1308169/the-17-day-diet-a-journal#post_16385756

Any updates on how your diet and exercise is going?

[HollyBearsMom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by camracrazy 

Any updates on how your diet and exercise is going?

Yes- come check out my thread! I am down 12 lbs!! 

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1308169/the-17-day-diet-a-journal