See, to each their own, but I think there is something about calling it the "naughty chair" that makes it so shaming and humiliating. I couldn't do that, not for something developmentally normative like tossing pieces of toys everywhere and not wanting to do the hard work of putting it away. I would have just told her that either she helps pick up the pieces or I will put the puzzle away for a long LONG time. It doesn't take them long to realize this consequence. I only had to put away my son's track pieces once for four days and he has never questioned my resolve on that issue ever again for anything he really cares about. Now if he leaves stuff on the floor he knows he has one chance and it's either pick it up or say goodbye as it get's taken to the Kids Foundation we volunteer with and he can play with it there when we go to play with the kids. It's pretty simple. If you can't take care of it, it doesn't get to live with you. Something about that naughty chair sitting there as a threat just reminds me of my mother's wooden spoon collection, especially the creepy ones that had smiling faces burned onto them and bow ties around the handle necks.
It also doesn't seem logical. If she has to go sit on the naughty chair for not helping, how can she help you then?
I never thought of it as shaming and humiliating. I learned this method of discipline from Supernanny. It is working, and I think it's better than yelling or hitting, which I wouldn't do, but that's how I was raised and I don't think it really taught us anything to be yelled at or spanked.
she didn't just refuse to help pick up the puzzle pieces, she started stepping on them too. She knew she was being bad, and she made the choice. I could tell she was pushing me.
Before finding this forum, I'd never heard of Gentle Discipline. I really don't know what it is or how to do that. Can anyone direct me to some good articles or literature on the subject?