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Is anyone in school (or has been) with a toddler AND a newborn?

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 

Im considering an online, part time program and I dont know if I can swing it if I get pregnant. I want to know if this is do-able, do-able but not recommended, or if I'm absolutely insane for even considering this.

post #2 of 11

I finished my last semester of college with a newborn and a 3.5 yo AND being a single mom. It was ROUGH. I was also working almost full-time.  I don't know if I would jump into starting a program if I was already pregnant. But, part-time online should theoretically be do-able as it would be more flexible.

post #3 of 11

I have a 2.5 year old and a one year old.  i've been in school full time since 2007, I got pregnant with my DD1 during my first semester.  She was born in July and I took online classes full time the semester after she was born.  DD2 was born last January, I also took online classes full time then.  Other than that, all of the other semesters were on campus. 

 

I'll preface my judgement of this by saying that I'm good at school.  i'm book-smart.  I don't need to study a lot and I write papers and such quickly and well.  ...I'm also a perfectionist, though, so that makes things a bit tougher for me.

 

With that said, I think it's doable.  You will need childcare for your toddler.  Especially if your toddler is a bad sleeper or your newborn is a bad sleeper, you'll need time during the day to get school work done.  It's possible with the newborn around, but not with the toddler--at least in my experience.

 

School is far harder for me now that it was when DD2 was a newborn.  Part of it is that DH is also in school now.  part of it is more writing and reading intensive classes, and part of it is DD2's strong, stubborn, fiesty personality. 

 

But it's going fine.  I think you can do it, just have reliable child care and a good support system.

post #4 of 11

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by youngspiritmom View Post

Im considering an online, part time program and I dont know if I can swing it if I get pregnant. I want to know if this is do-able, do-able but not recommended, or if I'm absolutely insane for even considering this.


IMO, the program you are considering sounds quite doable if you have a good support network-- family, friends, or childcare providers who can help you out if you need extra time to study or prepare for a test, for example.

 

I was in school (brick-and-mortar)  full-time when DC2 was a baby and toddler, and my DC1 was in elementary school. It was stressful, but between my DH, my mom, and our DCP, we made it work. When my third child was born, my older kids were 9 years old and 2.5 years old. I was back in school (brick-and-mortar) by the time DC3 was a month old. It was a three-credit class, so I was gone for fewer than two hours per day, three days per week. My DH stayed with the kids while I was in class. It worked out great.

 

post #5 of 11

I must be just as insane as you :)  I have a two year old and I'm due in July with our second child.  I'm currently taking two classes, I am going full-time in the summer semester and full time in the fall semester as well. It's doable, no doubt, but you have to make time for studying and sacrifice personal time, depending on what kind of support you have. We literally have no family and few friends around, so until I make some friends (when I find the time!) or a babysitter, I've accepted that there just won't be much free or me-time. I also plan on breastfeeding, so I've scheduled my fall classes at intervals so I can come home in between and feed. It sounds crazy, and I'm sure it is, but I can't postpone school any longer and breastfeeding is an important goal as well.

 

If you have friends and/or family around, you can certainly go to school.  It's just a question of how much you have to give up and how much you want to give up. I don't have much time for social activities but I've accepted it'll be that way for 2-3 more years. You can do it :) Take it slow if you have to!

post #6 of 11


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sagesmothertree View Post

I must be just as insane as you :)  I have a two year old and I'm due in July with our second child.  I'm currently taking two classes, I am going full-time in the summer semester and full time in the fall semester as well. It's doable, no doubt, but you have to make time for studying and sacrifice personal time, depending on what kind of support you have. We literally have no family and few friends around, so until I make some friends (when I find the time!) or a babysitter, I've accepted that there just won't be much free or me-time. I also plan on breastfeeding, so I've scheduled my fall classes at intervals so I can come home in between and feed. It sounds crazy, and I'm sure it is, but I can't postpone school any longer and breastfeeding is an important goal as well.

 

If you have friends and/or family around, you can certainly go to school.  It's just a question of how much you have to give up and how much you want to give up. I don't have much time for social activities but I've accepted it'll be that way for 2-3 more years. You can do it :) Take it slow if you have to!

Just to echo this a bit:

 

I don't remember the last time I watched TV or a movie. I never read books for own pleasure (except during breaks, though I usually use that time to get ahead on reading for my upcoming classes).  I tend to run on about 5 hours of sleep (give or take an hour) because I'm up past midnight working on homework or reading (or doing some house work) and the kids are up by 6:30 (and up 2x maybe during the night?).

 

I'm ok with that.  I know it's going to get better.  But it sucks right now.  Some people wouldn't be able to deal with that.
 

 

post #7 of 11
It might depend on your situation (I am on my phone and can't see siggies).

I have been in school full time-ish for the last few semesters, including taking the PCAT and going through the application process for pharmacy school. I started really jumping into school a month after DS2 was born.

It has been doable, but I have had a lot of support from DH. Also, like the PP, I am pretty smart and can get away with a lot less studying than most (we'll see how that works next year once I am in pharm school!). It has been stressful, I will admit that. But having a concrete goal in mind helps. It won't be like this forever, and it will be worth it when it is done.
post #8 of 11

It's doable. Unlike a pp I found the newborn harder to study with than the toddler. With the toddler we could set up a routine, he could eat regular food, etc. I did use the tv a lot when I had to study. Still do.shy.gif

 

I only have set childcare for the time I am in class. Other times are hit or miss. Lots of studying whenever I get the chance. I am also able to get away with less studying than normal.

 

I would recommend either taking the semester your baby is born off or only one class. Recovering from birth, dealing with a tiny baby & the logistics of going from one to two--try to make it easy on yourself, so you don't burn out or invite PPD.

 

That said, going to school saves my sanity. It gives my mind the adult interaction I desperately need. Plus, its a few hours where I am expected to sit on my butt the entire time AND I get to pee alone. Bliss! lol

 

Ami


 

post #9 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsfrenchy View Post


 

Just to echo this a bit:

 

I don't remember the last time I watched TV or a movie. I never read books for own pleasure (except during breaks, though I usually use that time to get ahead on reading for my upcoming classes).  I tend to run on about 5 hours of sleep (give or take an hour) because I'm up past midnight working on homework or reading (or doing some house work) and the kids are up by 6:30 (and up 2x maybe during the night?).

 

I'm ok with that.  I know it's going to get better.  But it sucks right now.  Some people wouldn't be able to deal with that.
 

 


Yep, this. We got rid of cable, our only tv entertainment is netflix. I watch it on friday and saturday night :) I don't sit on my couch during the week either (cuz i'd fall straight asleep) and I eat a lot more simple meals than i would like. I do try and go to bed by ten or eleven otherwise i find it hard to function in class. I constantly feel like something in my life is not being attended to, but I know that it is temporary. But even though it is super hard most the time, I like having the outlet to talk to other people. I like most the classes i'm taking and I finally feel like I'm getting closer to a goal I had way before I even had kids.

 

post #10 of 11

I'm having a baby in the middle of the summer semester of an accelerated graduate program that I can't take time off from.....and I have a 2 and 4 year old.

 

dizzy.gif

post #11 of 11

I'm in this situation as well!  I started an online grad program at a nearby university, and I have a 2 year old and one due in August.  I like the flexibility of not going to class, and I just try to fit in work whenever I can (naptimes, evening, etc).  My husband works a lot and we don't have any family or anyone to babysit, so it has been tough. The first trimester of pregnancy was the worst! I had no energy to do work, and my grades suffered a bit.  But I'm getting the hang of it.  That said, I'm only taking 2 classes at a time, and might only take 1 in the fall.  I have accepted that it will take me a while to finish my Master's, but I'm ok with that. 

 

Oh, and ditto what the PP said about no social life! I miss my friends, miss reading books and doing things for myself. But finishing my degree will be so worth it in the end.  Good luck to you!

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