in seeing how some women's experiences have turned out, i think that i had a lot of luck in choosing my first midwives. that said, intuition and trust (in the universe, impulse, god, source, however you name it...) played a large role in explaining how i knew they would be the right fit. trust and intuition are some of the same components to a beautiful uc, or birth in general. all that said, it was the right fit and felt that way from our first meeting. truly, these ladies were old and witchy, very laid back, and warm and embracing while not pushing anything on me. they never blinked an eye when i refused every single thing they offered- blood work, gbs testing, glucose test,ing, vitamin k, newborn prick, etc. they simple offered objective information about what was available. i thought it was wonderful to sit and talk about anything, while being fully supported. they would help me problem solve any thing that was going on, hook me up with resources, directions to look, and community connections- then rub my baby and say sweet things to her. it was this amazing, holistic care that is, imo, what midwifery or doulahood is about. if we trust our bodies, it seems that most times medical elements are unneccessary. ( <~~~~~~my disclaimer on that statement, though a different thought pattern, is that there are systems bigger then all of us, in the organic sense, and everything doesn't always play out within our power. ) however, pregnancy and motherhood is a huge responsibility; emotions and hormones are big. it is a beautiful time to have the space you are holding also be held by thoughtful and caring people. some women have this in their partner, or close friends, or perhaps have a dedicated little village-like community. i think the aloneness is raw, and the intimacy of true community is also raw. different experiences, for sure. both with blessings and lessons. we as humans have to remember how to rely on our instincts.
all that is to say, let your own heart and gut guide you. if for a moment either midwife would have challenged my belief systems or (lack of) desires for my medical care or how i envisioned my birth, i would have left then.
Where can I find one like that?!!!! Your response was very helpful and encouraging to me. thank you
I too just felt like it was the obvious choice for our next child, and that was years ago. I've been reading and learning and researching ever since. My dh didn't come to that conclusion though... until I got pg! Then he surprised me with feeling like UP/UC was what he wanted as well. I felt like it was confirmation from God that we were meant to go down the UC path with this baby.
However... due to a lot of random circumstance in our life, I may very well end up in a birth center. The midwife I'm working with has so far given me every reason to believe she'll leave me alone, and knows I want a UC, and knows that was our plan up until our living situation changed. She's comfortable with us UCing still if we decide to, but ... I honestly won't know until labor starts just how things will go that day. My mw was joking around about how she doesn't worry about my birth coinciding with her being out of town because she knows I don't want her there to begin with, so I know she realizes just how little "support" I want in labor. I still haven't met her back-up mw though, so... we'll see!
But I just believe that UC is the most natural, safe and healthy birthplan in the world. Sure things can go wrong... that's why we listen to ourselves and follow through accordingly. Things go wrong when you're driving too, something I read somewhere - wish I could remember where - said something to the effect of how much more dangerous statistically is driving than birthing, yet no one tries to make a pg woman feel guilty or selfish for driving across town! I feel like having anyone else around but my dh will block my own voice and intuition. If I'm listening to someone who can't even feel what's happening inside of my body telling me what I should do and when, how can I hear what my body is telling me? If someone is talking when I'm trying to relax and pray, thinking they know what I need, how will I hear God's voice? Why would I trust that they know what I need based purely on what other women have needed in their experience?
There was a recent thread on here about UC books I believe. And I love reading the birth stories of others who have already been through it! You'll find them around here too. Welcome! :)
ETA: You know, I think that comment about driving vs birth was in the Mothering mag with the UC article last fall... LOL - where ELSE would I have read something that realistic??
I agree 100%. We downplay the risks involved with our everyday life that we deem to be necessary and acceptable.
Although my gut feeling is still wavering on what to actually do, I think if I'm truly honest with myself, delivering in the hospital is not what I want for this baby. I think if it was, I wouldn't have thought to even look into homebirth with a midwife or UC at all. Only 17 more weeks to marinate on the subject!