5yo with cavities... what to expect from dentist

[seashells]

DD, 5 years old, has cavities that we can easily see with our bare eyes in the two back molars. We haven't even looked at the top ones, so those could be goners too.

I feel awful about this, and comments from other people IRL (family, friends) just serve to make me feel like a bad mom.

DD saw a dentist a while ago, around age 2 I think. We delayed going back for financial reasons but when we realized about the cavities we made an appointment.

1) What are we doing wrong? I'd like any opinions. I've read Price. But DD eats white flour and sugar, not because I'm happy about that but that's just how it turned out. We do not use flouride - feel free to convince me I'm wrong about it. We brush her teeth twice a day - we let DD have a crack at it but then a parent does the brushing after to make sure it was thorough. No soda, no especially sticky candy (caramel, etc), not much dried fruit, juice is an occasional treat only.

2) Do you think the dentist will yell at us? She's 5 and she has cavities and she hasn't been seen since age 2. I just don't know what to say.

3) Any problems with bitewing x-rays?

4) Anything else I should think about or plan for or whatever.

[SleeplessMommy]

Lots of people have kids with cavities. I don't think the dentist will "yell" at you. If that happens, get a new dentist, lol.

I have chosen fluoride for my kids - there is strong scientific evidence that it strengthens tooth enamel.

The xrays are needed to fully evaluate the extent of cavities. They are done about once a year and not a big deal at all.

Once you find out the extent of cavities, ask for a treatment plan. Insist on composite fillings or stainless steel crowns - you want to be absolutely sure your kids gets no amalgam (mercury) fillings. If there are molars without cavities, you may want to have sealants placed on them... it will reduce the chances of further cavities.