Any Mamas Out There Who Were Extended Breastfed Themselves?

[Abrah]

Hi, Mamas.  I'm new to the boards here.  I have a 20 month old daughter who is still nursing and going strong. :-)  I'm an attachment parenting mama - we also co-sleep and Miss T was always worn until she started walking.

Anyhow, my husband, overall, is supportive of my parenting.  However, he really worries that our daughter will have emotional problems if I nurse her past 2 years of age.  I know this is completely silly.  I've even shown him studies.  But to him, he think it's weird and that no child should remember being breastfed. 

Since studies don't mean anything to him, I was hoping that I could find some actual adults whose parents breastfed them beyond infancy. 

If so, I'd like to pose a few questions to you.  (You can private message me if you don't want to share it on here.)

1.) Do you remember breastfeeding?

2.) What do you remember about it?

3.)Do you have any bad memories about it?

4.)Are you scarred in any way from it?

I'd love to hear your story.  And if you know of any men that were breastfed beyond infancy, I'd love to hear from them, too!  Thank you so much!

You can also write me at thezionzoo  at yaho.

Thanks!

Abrah :-)

[Marissamom]

I was breastfed until I was about 2.5, but I don't remember nursing because I don't remember anything before I was 3. but I'm not emotionally scarred because I nursed for more than 2 years. 

ETA: I also have two sisters that were breastfed until they were over 3, and I don't know if they remember nursing, but they aren't scarred by it. 

[Abrah]

Thanks. 

I know that it's absurd to think that a child would be scarred from it...but that is honestly, my husband's fear! 

Thank you for sharing. :-)

[isabchi]

Well, my Cousin's Husband nurse for like 7 or 8 years. He don't remenber much. Also, all his sisters and brotherz breastfeed for at least  3 years. They're all normal and pretty mainstream by the way. He encourage his wife to nurse his son for at least 3 years.

I think that you husband can evaluate his see the breast just as sexual.

E.i. You use you mouth to eat, drink, kiss you mother, a sibbling, our children AND our significant other..Not all kisses are the same...

[Jane]

I was nursed til age 3ish. 

I'm not sure if I'm "normal" but nursing didn't harm me.  I don't remember it at all.  Not a single memory.  I think my earliest memory is probably 6 months after I weaned.  But I love my mom! 

[bandgeek]

1.) Do you remember breastfeeding?

2.) What do you remember about it?

3.)Do you have any bad memories about it?

4.)Are you scarred in any way from it?

I nursed until I was about 2 1/2.

No memories whatsoever.  I am absolutely not scarred from it!  I'm SO thankful my mom gave me the best start in life and thank her for it from time to time, when the subject comes up.

My 6 year old nursed until he was 3 1/2 and he has no memories of it either.  He remembers other things from about 3-4 years, but not that, likely because it was a routine thing, nothing exceptional, so it doesn't stand out in his mind.  Which is probably why I don't remember either.  I have other memories going back as young as 14 months!

What your DH needs to understand is that nursing into early childhood is normal and natural.  It's not some extreme thing you thought up.  Humans have been doing it for thousands of years.  It's no more likely going to cause emotional scars than children needing help pottying until age 5, or help bathing.  I STILL wipe my 6 year old's butt when he deems it was a "messy one" and he "can't handle it"!  LOL

[stormborn]

There's a list out there of celebrity extended breastfeeders..the only one I remember is Micheal Jordan....Kellymom.com maybe?

My older child didn't wean until 5 and says (at 9) that she doesn't remember breastfeeding at all. Her friend went until 7; I'll have to ask him. They are both as normal as any child can be.:)

[Abrah]

Thank you all!  I'm going to show this to my husband. :-)

[sunnygir1]

I was breastfed until 3yo, and I don't remember breastfeeding.  I watched my little brother and sister breastfeed, and I remember that.  I have absolutely only positive associations with breastfeeding from childhood.

We had a neighbor with the same stature and hair color as my mom who had a son about the same age as my brother.  One day the moms were lying out by the neighborhood pool and one of the boys walked up and started nursing on the wrong mom -- boy was he surprised!

[kismetbaby]

I BF till I was 3.Sadly I  don't remember it . ..I suppose it was just too normal of an event to sick out in my mind. I too have only positive associations with BFing and watching my three younger sibs BF. It always seemed so normal, natural and sweet to me.

[Abrah]

Thank you all so much for your responses.  I have one more question - do you feel that the extended breastfeeding (even though you don't remember it) has made your relationship with your mom or both parents stronger?  Are you close to your mom or parents?  Thanks!

[isabchi]

The relative that I told you before and all his sibblings have very strong relationship with their parents, My relative and his sibblings are all in their 40 and 50 yo.

 I don't say that Breastfeeding is the only factor for an strong family bounding, but definitely is contribute.

[mrsjerrygarcia]

Jay Leno was also breastfed til 5!

[nycsg]

Hello -

I've been dealing with the same issue with my husband (and in addition I was breastfed till I was 2 yrs old w no ill effects! :).   This is a little long, but just thought it might be helpful to hear my experience. 

My husband wanted me to stop when my daughter was about 15 months old.  I told him I thought it was too early and that I had planned to continue longer, although I didn't know exactly for how long.  My husband wasn't happy but seem to kind of accept it at least for the time being.  When my daughter my daughter was approaching 18 months he started feeling much more strongly about it and we had a few fights on the subject but I just kept expressing how strongly I felt about it, that he had no science to back him up. (his fear is that extended bfing = over dependency on mother, etc).  So he saw he wasn't going to be able to convince me so he very unhappily seemed to accept it but told me that "he'd really put his foot down when she turned 2."  I didn't really respond and didn't promise anything.  fast forward to now, my daughter is 2 weeks away from her second birthday.  my husband brought it up a couple of weeks ago and we finally came to a resolution last night.  basically he expressed to me that he felt that he should be part of the decision and that up until this point I had basically shut him out. He said he bit his tongue for the last 6 months, but that now he wanted me to understand just how extremely strongly he feels about it and about the fact that he should be part of the decision.  I thought long and hard about it.  I decided that even though i disagreed with my husband's concerns on bfing, i did agree with him that it is a parenting decision that he needs to be part of.  (I knew I wouldn't want to have no say about something he wanted to do with our daughter).  But i also did feel like decisions need to be based on science and research if its available.  unfortunately, i found that there is really very very little available in the way of hard scientific studies on the psychological effects of breastfeeding past 2 years.  i think this is mostly because it is extremely hard to control for and because nursing beyond 2 years is so unusual in this country.  Although the AAP and AAFP among others specifically say that no bad psychological effects result from breastfeeding into the third year, my husband did find psychologists who voiced concerns with extended breastfeeding.  personally i don't find these psychologists convincing, and it is not surprising that there is some disagreement within the field, and of course now with the internet it is pretty easy to find someone to back up almost anything. but the fact that my husband was able to find "experts" who voiced the same concerns as him made it impossible for me to persuade him otherwise.  So after feeling like my husband reallly took the time to research it himself and  look at the research i wanted to share with him, and seeing that his feelings were still extremely strong on the subject, i decided for the sake of reducing stress in our marriage to compromise and we agreed last night that my daughter will be weaned by june 1 (she'll be 25.5 months then).  It is possible that i would have wanted to wean her by then anyway, Im really not sure.  But i really hadn't want to set a deadline originally because it seemed so arbitrary to me. But I saw that my husband really needed that at this point in order to feel like we dealt with this issue together.  In the end I will have gone on substantially longer than he would have wanted, but i am agreeing to a deadline that I likely would not have wanted.  Neither of us got our ideal outcome, but for us it was more important to make a decision together and not have stress or tension between us on it.   For me, seeing my husband really rationally think about the issue and being open and willing to hearing what i had to say and my feelings about it helped me get to the point where i was ok compromising becasue i really felt he had considered my feelings as well (even though i didn't persuade him), and because the date itself was a true comprise between us. 

Hopefully you will be more successful than I at influencing your husband, but i just share my experience in case its helpful. 

oh and, although my mother did bf me untill 2 yrs, I am unfortunately not very close with her.  it has nothing to do with bfing -- i think that so many millions of different factors go into determining what your relationship is like with your parents that that one factor alone is not usually determinative either way (just my opinion:).

best of luck!

[hildare]

i have to say that i wasn't breastfed at all but my dh's parents did extended breastfeeding with him and his sister.  he is one of the most loved, friendly and well adjusted people i know (just don't tell him that).  no one will tell me exactly for how long they did breastfeed him, either.  i think his sister weaned herself by the time she was a little over two.  apparently my dh had other ideas.  he doesn't remember it that he can recall, though, and it's obviously done him no harm (except make him a sweet sweet man and a good daddy).  they like to tell the story of the 'boobie juice' when describing how my dh was weaned, so i'll share... he was old enough to have some logical arguments, and so my il's told him that it was time for the boobies to go away.  they said that after a certain point, boobie juice isn't good anymore.  my dh's response was: uh-UH.  boobie juice is good FOREVER.  my mil ended up putting some foul tasting but not harmful otc stomach medicine (maybe keopectate or something?) on her nipple so dh could see that his mommy was right, that the boobie juice had gone bad.  but apparently, he was fine with that.  ;)

[evjolin]

I was Bf until 2 and half. I have no memory of it. Oddly, my sister self weaned at 18mos, when I would have been 4.25 years old, and i don;t even remember HER being BF....and i have an excellent memory, haha. i think other than a few random memories, we tend to remember things in our world that were outside of the norm, vs. the norm. meaning, if i was bf and my sister was bf, and so used to it, it would be worth remembering? 

[Kedrosami]

My mom breastfed me till I was 3 and I have no memory of it, but I credit that for my becoming valedictorian in high school. (Only half joking.) And I do know I was *never* sick as a child. Like, never, except for chicken pox when I was 6. I was 10 when I got my first cold.

I have a great relationship with my parents still and I'll be 30 this year. My mom is awesome! I count the breastfeeding as only one of many great things my parents did for me. I certainly don't feel "scarred." LOL!

[LiLStar]

I "only" breastfed until 17 months, so no memories. But I was once talking to a friend who nursed till she was 4 about it, asking if it was weird at all having the memories. She said they're her BEST childhood memories :) So for her, she was absolutely not scarred by it. Quite the opposite.

[raelize]

i was nursed till around 4. i have some very faded memories of nursing: nursing in the tub ( i must have been very young cause of the way i am laying across my mother's arm) and i remember playing with a mole she had on her breast.

i am totally normal, i am very close with my parents, especially my mom. even when i was having a hard time in high school, i always got along pretty well with them

[Parker'smommy]

My 9 year old was breastfed till he was 3 and he doesn't remember. My 6 year old JUST weaned 2 years ago at age 4 and she has already forgotten. I was hoping she would remember.