Advice for weaning babe from finger sucking

[YayJennie]

HELP!  My 4 month old has never been a fan of pacifiers, even though she has a very high need to suck.  She was taking them for a little while, but then last month, found her thumb and started refusing the pacifiers.  We started giving her our fingers to suck on to go to sleep, and now, she'll only take our fingers.  Not her thumb, no pacifier (we've tried 6 different brands and she spits every single one out), only mine or my husband's finger.  She also won't suckle at the breast because I have OALD and an oversupply issue, so she never nurses to sleep or comfort suckles, and unlatches immediately upon finishing feeding.

And I can't do this anymore.  I have a 2 year old that I need to take care of, and sitting with my finger in my daughter's mouth for 10-30 minutes for every.single.nap is just not possible. 

But when I don't give her my finger, she screams and cries bloody murder. 

Any tips, advice or BTDT?  I don't want to have a screaming baby, but I also don't want to have my finger stuck in my baby's mouth for hours everyday.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  TIA!

[sunnygir1]

I don't have any magic solutions.  Do you babywear?  I think if it were me I would strap the baby on, or put her in a stroller and go for a nice, long walk at naptime.  I have found babywearing to be more effective than the stroller for sleeping, but some babies fall asleep in the stroller.  I would just go for it for a few days; I bet it will get better.  I would also keep offering the pacifier and different pacifiers, because she might take one eventually.  Have you tried Soothies?  They were a miracle for my paci-hating babies...they both took them for a while, but never really got hooked on pacifier use.

[arieltron]

my DD would only suck mine or DP's finger, it was literally our only defense against crying and the only way to get her to drift off to sleep, it was kind of exhausting. She stopped sucking on our fingers around 5mo when she started to get her first tooth, now she can never be soothed by a finger, and I kinda miss the old days, but after her tooth came through she also became a much better napper.

[osker]

E was big on the pinky till 6 weeks, then she got tired of it and moved on the the paci. At 4 months she got tired of the paci and went back to the pinky, and then somewhere around 5 months she got tired of that and found her thumb.. Then around 6 months she got tired of the thumb and now will just try lots of different things (though the nipple is her favorite)...

It shouldn't last forever.  I agree with the babywearing suggestion.

[kythe]

Some babies have very high sucking needs.  I don't think it is always a "comfort" issue, and babywearing is not a substitute for something in the mouth for babies who are very oral.  My ds was very high needs in many ways.  I wore him in the sling several hours a day during his first year, and in a baby backpack for another few months.  He also sucked his middle two fingers for the first few years of his life.

I didn't try to stop him from sucking his fingers because I didn't see it as a bad habit.  It's just something babies do.  I'm not sure what to do about him sucking *your* fingers since that isn't an issue we had.  I think it would be healthier if he learned to suck his own again.  This stage doesn't last forever, kids do outgrow the need when they are ready.

[sunnygir1]

Originally Posted by kythe 

Some babies have very high sucking needs.  I don't think it is always a "comfort" issue, and babywearing is not a substitute for something in the mouth for babies who are very oral.  My ds was very high needs in many ways.  I wore him in the sling several hours a day during his first year, and in a baby backpack for another few months.  He also sucked his middle two fingers for the first few years of his life.

I didn't try to stop him from sucking his fingers because I didn't see it as a bad habit.  It's just something babies do.  I'm not sure what to do about him sucking *your* fingers since that isn't an issue we had.  I think it would be healthier if he learned to suck his own again.  This stage doesn't last forever, kids do outgrow the need when they are ready.

Just to clarify:  I wasn't suggesting that babywearing is a substitute for sucking, but rather that it is a technique for helping a baby through a transition.  I don't see anyone saying that babies shouldn't suck their own fingers or pacifiers, or even comfort nurse.

[YayJennie]

Thank you for the comments.  I do need to remember it's just a phase, it's just SO frustrating!  I wear her a lot, and it's easier to get her to nap when she's in the wrap or MT because she will take her thumb when she's being worn.  The problem is getting her out of the wrap to finish her nap (she only naps for 45 minutes or so when worn, but will nap for much longer if she's comfortably laid down, swaddled, and in a quiet place).  So I know the finger is just a preference.  And that's why I REALLY want to wean her from my finger.  I know she will take her thumb, she's just stubborn and obviously likes my finger better.  But I need my finger!

The last 2 days I have stopped giving her my finger as much, and it hasn't been too bad.  She's taking her thumb a lot more and I know that's better for her anyway.  She still refuses any pacifier (and we've tried soothies, which my son loved, as well as nuks, the weird shaped playtex brand, gumdrops, avents...I think I've bought almost every brand!)  But at least if she takes her thumb I'll be happy!

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by YayJennie 

The last 2 days I have stopped giving her my finger as much, and it hasn't been too bad.  She's taking her thumb a lot more and I know that's better for her anyway.  She still refuses any pacifier (and we've tried soothies, which my son loved, as well as nuks, the weird shaped playtex brand, gumdrops, avents...I think I've bought almost every brand!)  But at least if she takes her thumb I'll be happy!

yeah I don't think there is a magic solution. I'd just stop letting her have it and she'll figure out a more convenient alternative!