anyone still breastfeeding and considering FET/fresh cycle?

[fullofhope08]

Hi all,

I'm still breastfeeding our 10 month old ds. Ideally, I would love to nurse him until he's ready to wean, and if I could choose when this was, I would keep going until 18-24 months. I'm also getting the urge for more kids and am not getting any younger (34). We'd prefer not to wait too long. If we could conceive naturally, I would just let it happen and see how this affected ds's nursing. But that's not our circumstances - ivf is our only option. We do have 2 embryos on ice and are planning to try an FET before we would do another fresh cycle. From what I'm reading, breastfeeding and cycling aren't overly compatible. FET's seem a little easier to swing, but when i heard about the med regimen at our clinic, I don't think it would work (meds are taken several times a day...the only way I can think of doing it is to pump and dump for those weeks).

Anyone else struggling with these issues? I would hate to wean ds early for the sake of having more children and then the cycle not work. It would be awful to mourn the failed cycle and the lost bf relationship. Also, I think it would be unfair for our ds to lose that relationship with me earlier than he wants to. he does love his milk! I know there are no clear answers here...figured there may be others to share this dilemma with.

[ThankfulMama]

Hi! I am in a similar situation.  DD is 21mos, however.  I have been putting off cycling for many months because I DD just did not seem to be able to handle weaning (I didn't try, I could just tell). I have been VERY gently cutting back and we are now down to 3 times per day (24hour period).  I am a couple years older than you, so I really feel the pressure.  We also have 2 embies on ice, but hope to do another fresh for better chances of success. 

I have really struggled with the idea of weaning early.  I feel scared about the idea of an unsuccessful cycle and regrets--I think I am more comfortable with weaning now, however.  It will still be VERY hard since it is not ideal.  I know that since we are 100% OOP (no coverage for IVF whatsoever) I don't want to risk messing things up in the remote chance that BF would affect the cycle.  I also do not feel comfortable exposing DD to the meds through my BM.  Hard decisions.

We also have no hope for conceiving without IVF.  

[BellyBean]

I wish I had the answers.,.

DD completely self-weened by 13 months.  It's a very tough bond to loose, and would be even harder after a failed cycle.  However, I am not sure how long I would have gone since we also need IVF/FET, and wouldn't take any of the drugs while still BFing.  For us, we probably wouldn't have gone longer than 18 months (based on our specific circumstances)

If the FET works would you be finished having children or would you do another fresh cycle?  Waiting/not waiting probably wont effect a FET, but it would effect a fresh cycle, so that might be part of the consideration.

Good Luck!

[fullofhope08]

yeah, there really aren't any answers, it's just a matter of finding what seems to be the best decision for each individual family I guess. I just don't want to have any regrets...

We have 2 embies on ice and I know the success rates aren't overly high. So part of me is already preparing for a negative result (which I know I need to overcome too). If the FET failed, I suspect we would try another fresh cycle. We really would like to have more children, at least one more.

For us, the fact that I'm not menstruating yet is at least delaying any decisions for the time being. No plans for any cycling until AF returns. I think we will definitely wait until ds is at least 14-16 months as I want to make sure he has a full year of nursing and I wouldn't want to wean him too soon after I return to work. I'm hoping there comes a time when it just seems to be the natural time to make those changes.

Thankfulmama - have you been giving any thought to when you may aim to do another cycle? is bf the one thing holding you back now? Infertility definitely adds so many additional dynamics to having children - so much riding on these cycles.

[ThankfulMama]

That (BFing) is the main thing for sure.  We are totally OOP so money is a HUGE factor, but if someone gave me the money today I would not wean DD abruptly and start with my next period.  I have been gently cutting back, and the earliest I think I could start is May (BCPs) with stims in June.  It is a VERY difficult thing for me.  DD is VERY attached to nursing.  It pains me to think about taking that away from her.  I initially wanted to try for a second child to be born by the time DD turned 2. I would still love to have another ASAP, but from where I am now, I am glad I waited this long.  And I am over 35 so that is risky. . .
 

I know what you mean about the FET and worrying about the rates of success.  That's why I want to jump right back into a fresh.  Then, if we have leftover embryos from this cycle perhaps try a FET.  Our last FET started with 6 embryos and none made it.  However, I DO wonder what if one of these two embryos made it and we only had to spend half the money. . .

Tough decisions!

[fullofhope08]

thankful mama - May/June is just around the corner! How exciting to think you'll be cycling again so soon. But I hear you - the thought of weaning, making that final break, will likely be rough for a little bit. will you cut out the 3 feeds a day gradually, one at a time? your dd has had the benefits of 21 months of nursing. she is very fortunate. my little guy is very attached to nursing as well, especially at night. I have no idea how we will tackle this without too much heartache! so I totally understand your predicament.

Our original plan was to do the FET right about now, which is what has triggered at this for me. with no AF and breastfeeding, it's not going to happen right now. But it's on my mind a lot lately. The other dynamic that's been thrown in the mix is that my sister will be getting married next summer in another province. so no due dates in July...no cycles in October. I'm going to call the clinic this week to talk to someone about FET's. I'm curious about their success rates. Your plan to do another fresh cycle got me thinking about this as an option. we only have 2 frozen embies. it would be devastating to get there on the day and have none to transfer. do you know what the success rate for FET's is at your clinic? as someone has pointed out though, the FET success rate is still dramatically higher than just hoping for the best with old-fashioned ttc in our case. and much cheaper than a fresh cycle. I keep reminding myself of this.

[Jane]

You could at least get a baseline, for example, finding out what your uterine lining is like, what your prolactin levels are, etc.  Personally, I wouldn't cycle while nursing, because I'm a all-in kind of person.  But other people make other decisions and certainly do get pregnant!  I also see, as a midwife, how few people can keep nursing through pregnancy.  Either their milk dries up, the flavor changes and the child refuses, or that revulsion thing kicks in and the mom has to wean.  I would consider pregnancy to be a weaning event for most women, no matter what they would prefer.