Do you make your kids stay at the dinner table until everyone is done? - Page 2
We usually finish before the kids, but if they finish first, yes, they have to stay at the table for a reasonable amount of time. If say, my 5 yr. old is taking an hour to eat his food, we'll all give up and excuse ourselves eventually. They also have to wait until everyone is seated before they can begin, keep their elbows off the table, use silverware, keep their napkins in their laps, and chew with their mouths closed. I don't want to send rude kids out into the world.
Same here. If we let one kid get up from the table then the other one will be totally distracted and will want to join his/her sibling to play. Of course if someone is taking a REALLY long time finishing then we bend the rule (but usually before that happens the one kid is encouraging the other one to finish up!).
I let him go when he's done, and to be quite honest I don't mind so much to have those last few minutes of the meal alone or finishing a conversation with dh that I started last week.
When we are with friends, I ask him to stay at the table until his friends are done.
Also, if he gets up and wants to play, he has to do it away from the table. I need peace with my food, not truck noises.
I do ask him to excuse himself and clear his plate.
I have six children from 11 to 8 months. Staying at the table until everyone is done is proper table manners. If you make your children eat with utensils or keep their elbows off the table then I can not see how this is any different. It is not a lot to ask for them to sit there until everyone is done. I find with us, we tend to sit there a long while after dinner just talking about our days.
Is keeping elbows off the table still a common rule? I haven't heard that since I was a kid.
As a single mom, dinner is just my two kids and I. We don't have lengthy table conversations and pretty much everyone finished at around the same time, so it's not an issue. Meals with friends, we follow the other family's lead. And restaurants, the kids stay at the table.
We have a no elbows rule and no cartons, no boxes, etc on the table either.
I can still hear my mother's voice saying:
Daughter, Daughter, sweet and able
Keep your elbows off the table
If you do it anymore
I shall throw you out the door
My only rule is food has to be chewed at a normal pace, posture has to be correct and proper table manners have to be used. No hunching over the plate to make less distance between plate and mouth, like a convict (imo ). If they're done eating then they may leave, but nobody may watch tv until the last person has left the table. Even at formal dinners (even if we're in a restaurant) they don't have to wait until the end of the meal to leave the table. As long as they've been polite at the table and are polite and quiet after they leave, they can leave and be normal children.
We do not make DD stay. After she is finished she can ask to be excused and she has to clear her plate. However, there is no screen time until everyone is done and DH and I don't get up from the table to help her with a project or whatever, we get to finish our meal at our own pace. If she says she's bored or something--after having left the table--we invite her to come on back and join in the conversation. Sometimes after asking to be excused she'll hang out and chat or decide to eat a little more anyway.
Till recently we have not insisted that the kids stay at the table till we are finished. However neither of ours are great eaters, it's not so much pickyness about what they will eat but they are very wriggly and rarely eat much. However over the last few weeks we are noticing that if we can encourage them to stay at the table long enough to settle down they will eat much more of their dinner.
I don;t want to be sitting there saying 3 more bites of dinner before you can leave but asking them to stay and trying harder to engage them in conversation seems to be working for now. Ask me next week and you may get a very different answer
Dd is an only and is almost always the last to finish. This has not been a big issue for us. We all ask to be excused (which is kind of a rhetorical question, but we all ask it if we want to leave the table early). "Being excused" means going back to homework or work or something quiet that was being engaged in prior to dinner. Table manners are very important, as are all manners, in our household. Daily meals are not "formal", but they're proper. We eat together, at a table, and there is no TV allowed. We don't have video games (hand-held or otherwise) or smart phones, so TV would be the only distraction. About once every couple of months we'll order in pizza and "picnic" on the living room floor (blanket included to protect the rug) with a movie, but otherwise it's proper meals at a table. We have absolutely THE BEST conversations at the dinner table. It's everyone's favorite time of the day.
We stay at the table, too. And, like most everyone else, no TV or computer during supper.
At other people's houses and restaurants, I want my kids to be content at the table until the meal is done, so it works for me to teach that regularly at home. That way, it's much easier in other situations.
I don't really have to experience for my opinion to mean much here, but this seems like a good idea.
I also have a slow eater who is almost always the last one finished. She's 5.5. On the rare occasion she does finish early, she asks to be excused from the table and she is free to go. I appreciate her use of her manners. The 2 year old isn't capable, in my view, of sitting beyond the length of his meal, so, he's free to go.
We have a lot of foster kids in and out of our house. Our rule is everyone sits for dinner. I find that if we don't do this about 20 minutes after supper kids are hungry. And they are often more willing to give a meal a second try if they have nothing to do but sit there. We usually eat a later super and no bedtime snack so eating is important.
If we are having adult company over and wanting to talk longer then they are free to go but still no TV or computer as this is all basically in the same room .