He broke down in tears last night (I've only seen him cry ONCE, when his grandfather died, so that is saying a lot). He thinks DS hates him or something. He is totally crushed.
DS won't let DH do anything for him -- whether it's brushing his teeth, changing a diaper, putting on clothes/pj's, reading a book, etc. He has a complete and total meltdown and screams hysterically that he wants Mama to do it.
Our days/nights are a million times easier when DH is not there, because DS is just a totally different kid around him -- more crying, more tantrums, more screaming, uncooperative... He's not like that with me at all.
He's been like this since birth and kind of had highs & lows (sometimes he'll be much calmer with DH but then there will be a few really rough weeks and that's what we're in the middle of right now).
We don't always give in (though sometimes we do) but for the most part I don't go 'rescue' DS unless DH has had it or DS has had an extremely emotional day. DH always always always changes DS's diapers, for example, except obviously when he's not home, and provides almost all food (except breastmilk!)
He spends a ton of time with DS doing everything from playing to involving him in cooking and cleaning. He has a ton of patience and lots of love. He tries so hard and I admittedly get on him about stupid little things so I'm no help at all in this matter and I don't think I'm being very supportive sometimes, but of course I'm trying.
DH is home a lot and has been for most of DS's life -- for his first year he was only gone for about 3 waking hours of DS's day most days, and while he was working 9-5 for a while in his second year, he is now home with us all day... we go out without him a lot but he is seeing DH tons so it's not like he just feels more comfortable with me since he spends more time with me.
I do go out several times a week and DH is trying to take DS out alone once a week or so too, plus takes him outside tons etc. so they are spending a good amount of time alone without me there.
What are we doing wrong? I feel horrible that DH is so upset about this and it's so hard to hear DS always sobbing for me.
DS won't let DH do anything for him -- whether it's brushing his teeth, changing a diaper, putting on clothes/pj's, reading a book, etc. He has a complete and total meltdown and screams hysterically that he wants Mama to do it.
Our days/nights are a million times easier when DH is not there, because DS is just a totally different kid around him -- more crying, more tantrums, more screaming, uncooperative... He's not like that with me at all.
He's been like this since birth and kind of had highs & lows (sometimes he'll be much calmer with DH but then there will be a few really rough weeks and that's what we're in the middle of right now).
We don't always give in (though sometimes we do) but for the most part I don't go 'rescue' DS unless DH has had it or DS has had an extremely emotional day. DH always always always changes DS's diapers, for example, except obviously when he's not home, and provides almost all food (except breastmilk!)
He spends a ton of time with DS doing everything from playing to involving him in cooking and cleaning. He has a ton of patience and lots of love. He tries so hard and I admittedly get on him about stupid little things so I'm no help at all in this matter and I don't think I'm being very supportive sometimes, but of course I'm trying.
DH is home a lot and has been for most of DS's life -- for his first year he was only gone for about 3 waking hours of DS's day most days, and while he was working 9-5 for a while in his second year, he is now home with us all day... we go out without him a lot but he is seeing DH tons so it's not like he just feels more comfortable with me since he spends more time with me.
I do go out several times a week and DH is trying to take DS out alone once a week or so too, plus takes him outside tons etc. so they are spending a good amount of time alone without me there.
What are we doing wrong? I feel horrible that DH is so upset about this and it's so hard to hear DS always sobbing for me.
 That was really our exact same situation. That's why I had to leave. I actually just went to DH's office when I had to get things done... is there anyway you could rent an office space or work at a friends house during the days instead of at home? Maybe just for a week? I'm telling you it really, really helped in our situation. But I definitely get not being able to work at the library and having a lot of constraints. I need my laptop to work and internet and I like background noise so I'm fussy too.
(like my DD who wanted me to read to her last night instead of DH reading to her. She didn't have to like it. But she had to deal b/c I wasn't reading. Busy with other things and had read the previous 3 nights. So she had a little fit and then curled up with DH).
