DD is just about 12 months old. She is a mix of all the kinds of baby temperaments. I can't pigeon hold her to just one (easy, shy, spirited). She is extreeeemely attached to Mama. As of the last month, she hates when Daddy comes near her because it usually means we will be separated. She breaks his heart every day. This is especially pronounced at bedtime. We used to take turns putting her down at night, and now she wails as though I've dumped her in a garbage can alone if I leave her in bed with Daddy.
Here's the thing, I have been studying to become a birth doula, and took the workshop in February. I would really like to continue pursuing this, but I've had to put it on hold since her behavior changed. She refuses to take the bottle anymore. She refuses to take the binki, too, and slaps it away with great disdain and a loud "NO!" even in the wee hours of the morning. She also began to pacify on my breast recently and we went through hell trying to get her to stop doing that. No she nurses every hour on the hour at night.
I read the No Cry Sleep Solution and the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers. I refuse to use CIO, but it's weird for me to be considering any kind of sleep training at all. We are very pro attachment parenting, and knew that when we made the decision to co-sleep, we were committing to see it through for many years. Now that I want to be a doula, I am wondering if there is ANY way to get her in a crib in her own room and night weaned! I feel shame admitting it, but that's how badly I want to be a doula, and I just don't know how I could possibly be gone for 24+ hours and have her be okay.
Is it too late? Should I just drop the idea of becoming a doula for the next few years (forfeiting the $1000+ I spent on the doula workshop -- class + travel and lodging, and have to take it over again?)
Or should I go for it, just attempting to do 3 births in the next few years to get my certification, but knowing that those 3 nights would be absolute hell for both DD and DH?
OR, should I sleep train her, get her in her own crib, her own room, and try to lessen the amount she eats at night, and stop the sucking to sleep association so that other people can help put her down?
This is really killing me. I just don't know what to do. I admit that I fear if I don't pursue doulahood now, I won't do it in a few years and I will have just failed at finishing yet another thing I started.
How do I make this decision? Any advice on getting the most extremely attached, sensitive, semi-high needs toddler to accept these changes? Could trying to sleep train her be more harm than good?!?!
I need totally honest, opinionated, straight up, truth...
Thank you so much for your time.