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post #1 of 40
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Edited by 11C11 - 8/29/11 at 8:28am
post #2 of 40

I don't like to know. I have never found out ahead of time.  DH is on board with that, but my friends are impatient and are always saying they wish I'd get an ultrasound.  It bugs me, honestly!  I feel it's supposed to be a surprise, and I don't want to have any preconceived notions about the baby.  I'll meet him or her when it's time. :)

post #3 of 40

We didn't find out the sex of any our children.  We plan to be surprised again this time.  Most of our friends and family are pretty accepting about it, however, we are the only family that I personally know that doesn't find out with an ultrasound. 

post #4 of 40

Yeah my family and friends are already begging us to find out.  I don't care; DH cares ALOT lol.  I used to not want to know bc of the idea of them telling you the wrong thing.  But the technology is so advanced today I think it would be super rare to be told wrong.  I have to admit it's easier to buy things in prepardness for a baby when you know the gender.  It seems EVERYTHING is pink or blue, blue or pink.  And we suck at making decisions.  It will be like go time and we still won't be decided on a name even if we know the gender!

post #5 of 40

I'll be finding out! With both pregnancies, I have felt very strongly towards a certain gender and I really think I'd need time to adjust if I was wrong. I really wanted a girl the first time and if she'd been a boy, I certainly would have wanted to know ahead of time. Same this time around. It's not so much that I want a boy really badly like last time, but I feel very strongly that it will be a boy. I'd have to adjust to the idea of another girl, to be honest. 

 

Plus, I just can't stand the wait, I'm way too impatient for that!

post #6 of 40

I'm totally conflicted myself! There is the strong "type A" planner in me that would feel better prepared and less stressed if I knew and could get things settled before hand. It's our first so I think I'm feeling that rather keenly right now. I feel like there's so much to do! I also feel like it would help my husband feel more connected to the baby since they don't get to experience first hand all that we experience.  But then there is this other part of me that feels like life is so rushed and I have become so impatient in general that I am cheating myself out of an experience that was meant to be a surprise. I don't know...I guess I'll have to wait and see how type A I'm feeling in a few months. 

post #7 of 40

PinkPeony - the last thing you want is to stress so I say find out, plus you are the one pregnant.

 

I think it is a blessing we have the technology to find out what we are having and as soon as possible I will find out. I am a planner in everything and with pregnancy you cannot plan anything it just all happens so at least if I know the sex (even though sometimes they are wrong anyway) I at least feel like I have control over something. Every person is different and that is what I love about people but for me I have already been doing to gender predictors calendars on line.

post #8 of 40

I guess I just don't see what there is to gain in planning by knowing the sex, but that is probably because of the way we parent and the things I like anyway.  I mean, if I found out tomorrow that this will be a girl, I would not run out and buy a pink carseat, pink mei tai, and a wardrobe of only flowery pink stuff-  because I like brown, black, green etc. lol.gif  Likewise I wouldn't buy all blue for a boy.  I like what I like regardless of my baby's sex. And I'm not decorating a nursery, because like all of the others kids have, this baby will be bedsharing with us for years to come.  So no paint and bedding to choose. 

 

It just wouldn't really change anything for me to know. And I LOVE the moment of surprise when they're born and I get to be the one to shout joyfully "It's a ___!!!!!"  I'm so excited for that part!  But ymmv, of course!

post #9 of 40

Definitely want to find out. I don't do surprises. lol We found out for both boys, and still bought all gender neutral clothes and stuff (just in case they were wrong). I just like to know. That, and I hate the idea of the u/s tech knowing something I don't know. lol. Exdp didn't want to find out with ds1, but it wasn't an option for me.

We get the opposite of most of you- all of his family thinks it's ideal to wait and be surprised.

 

If baby doesn't cooperate and the tech can't tell the sex, then that's fine with me. I wouldn't have another u/s just to find out.

 

With this one, exdp really really wants a girl, so I told him that we don't have to find out if he thinks he might be depressed if it's a boy. I assume he wouldn't be depressed about it in the delivery room. lol. He said he's getting more ok with the idea of another boy, so he wants to find out to prepare himself.

 

 

post #10 of 40

We are also bed sharers. My daughter just turned 4 and only sleeps in her bed when she wants and I did not have pink carseats or anything everything was gender neutral so I could use it for the second kid, but I sill HAD to know. Again I have control issues. LOL It is funny to see how everyone responds.

post #11 of 40

I'm going to find out and I'm going to do the whole nursery thing this time. But it will be brown and green and clothes are mostly gender neutral. I didn't find out last time and I've never had a room for the baby, crib bedding, all that stuff. So this time, I really want to do it, even though we won't really use it! I'm still excited, though. :)

post #12 of 40
We won't find out either. We had an ultrasound with ds & while I wanted it to be a surprise, she heavily hinted. We didn't know for certain, but I didn't like the way that went down because I wanted a surprise at birth. We didn't have an ultrasound with dd, I caught her and was the first to find out the gender and it was an amazing feeling! For us, it is worth waiting for.
post #13 of 40

We will wait and be surprised. With my first, I thought I wanted to know, but decided to defer to my then-husband to wait and be surprised at the birth. I was so glad I did; I love that moment when the midwife caught him and laid him on my chest, I looked down and made the announcement that we had a boy. This time, again, I'm not interested in a lot of gender specific clothes and equipment, and we wont be doing a nursery (we will co-sleep.) I know other people will want to know so they can buy gifts according to gender, but there will be plenty of time for that after the birth, and not knowing before then will give us a chance to get some neutral stuff too. Also, we will be delighted with either sex, so there's no disappointment factor.

post #14 of 40

 We will be finding out, and i will also be paying for a 3-d like with my other two kids for fun and to confirm gender. I don't trust 2-d  a relative was told she was having a girl and a few weeks later told she's really having a boy.

 

 

post #15 of 40

We've never found out before the baby was born and will keep it that way this time. Doesn't bother DH and I not to know but it sure does drive those around us crazy. That moment, as soon as the baby is born, and DH and I get to take the first peek, that is an unbelievable moment. Last time I must have said "I can't believe we have 4 girls!" about 10 times in the first 10 minutes of our daughter's life. It probably got obnoxious, lol. I can't compare it to finding out beforehand since this is the only way we have done it.

 

Wendy homeschooling mom to 4 little girls and a new blessing due in November

post #16 of 40

We found out with our first and had a boy so all of our friends and families gave us tons of boy clothes.  My friend who had two boys handed down an enormous amount of very obvious "I'm a boy" outfits that I would rather not use if I had a girl.  Not that it matters much to me but I don't want people coming up to a girl in a blue outfit with footballs all over it and saying "oh what a cute little boy."  So now I kind of want to know so I don't have to dress a girl in boy clothes and if I am having another boy then I don't have to stress about buying new stuff.  

 

I actually found that finding out made things feel a little more realistic.  I can't really explain why I wanted to know so badly the first time around, but I just really did.

 

Just a word of advise, though...if you get a 20 week ultrasound and you really don't want to know, I would suggest closing your eyes!  As soon as she pulled the image up on the screen, I saw the little penis clear as day and knew right away anyway.  She pointed it out to me and I was like, "Yeah I see it!"  They get pretty good pics nowadays and if the baby's in the right position, you'll know anyway.  

post #17 of 40

We're finding out for sure. I'm too type A not to know.

post #18 of 40

We found out with DD, and I'm so glad I did- I very much wanted a girl, and did not feel strongly either way as far as if she was a girl or a boy. It was so exciting to find out and I was thrilled. HOWEVER- with this one, I am planning (as of right now) on not finding out. Even though it'd be easier to know if we had to buy different clothes, we will get enough neutral onesies and such for the first month or so, and go from there. I really want that suprise, that anticipation, and that moment of "finding out" at the birth.

 

Although, I do feel like it's a boy ...

post #19 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lula's Mom View Post

I guess I just don't see what there is to gain in planning by knowing the sex, but that is probably because of the way we parent and the things I like anyway.  I mean, if I found out tomorrow that this will be a girl, I would not run out and buy a pink carseat, pink mei tai, and a wardrobe of only flowery pink stuff-  because I like brown, black, green etc. lol.gif  Likewise I wouldn't buy all blue for a boy.  I like what I like regardless of my baby's sex. And I'm not decorating a nursery, because like all of the others kids have, this baby will be bedsharing with us for years to come.  So no paint and bedding to choose. 

 

It just wouldn't really change anything for me to know. And I LOVE the moment of surprise when they're born and I get to be the one to shout joyfully "It's a ___!!!!!"  I'm so excited for that part!  But ymmv, of course!



I agree with this 100% but I still want to know.  Just because I want to.  I'm not going to go all gender specific because I am a gender neutral type of person anyway.  I don't have a nursery to decorate or pink tutus to buy.  The only reason I am finding out is... I want to know.  That's it. I totally understand why people like to be suprised but I feel like if they do the body scan at 20 weeks which I will have (instead of testing) and they can see the gender they should probably tell me. 

 

post #20 of 40

I can see how it would be really difficult to wait to find out if you are having conventional care with a dr. or midwife!  I didn't really think about that- I would hate for an ultrasound tech to know when I didn't! 

 

The last two pregnancies I have done my own prenatal care and I don't get ultrasounds.  I think if I had an issue, something that led me to seek an ultrasound for medical reasons, then I *would* go ahead and find out. I like to be the one in control of my pregnancy and birth, which is why I go the UP/UC route.  If the medical staff knew and I didn't, I would feel like I'd given up some of my control! lol.gif

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