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I'm getting so nervous...

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

I'm getting so nervous and excited!!  Mediation is FINALLY next Tuesday and I'm so happy to finally be reaching the closure of this whole mess.  I hope the ex doesn't make trouble and the mediator helps him see the truth of the situation allowing us to reach a fair settlement.  My SO won't officially propose until the divorce is final either (it's complicated - we're getting married, the wedding is planned ready for whenever we decide, but he won't make it official until then) so that's another exciting thing to look forward too.  :)  Apparently he planned to bring gf to the mediation despite the numerous times we've been told it's just us and the mediator.  He keeps 'forgetting' about it and he won't provide the proper papers to the mediator either.  Grrr.  It's okay, I'll be able to provide the information myself it's just frustrating.  Okay, enough babbling - so excited to be almost done!

post #2 of 5
I hope it goes very well!
post #3 of 5
Thread Starter 

Thank you!  I'm printing off my parenting plan and heading out.  *fingers crossed*  :)

post #4 of 5

 

What happened?!?!?

post #5 of 5
Thread Starter 

He has to pay $700 a month in support and doesn't have to provide medical.  Instead, he gets credit of $221 for the next 6 months to his back support which he will pay off (in addition to that month's support) in a lump sum of $1,080.  I will then provide her with medical insurance (she will remain on medicaid in the interim.) hopefully via SO's work otherwise whatever policy I can buy until SO and I do get married if it doesn't happen by then.  He will then continue paying $700 a month because I'll then be providing her insurance.  We split the cost of her school and all medical, dental, and vision costs not covered by insurance.  We have joint physical/legal because unless I can prove he's abusing her, that's the way the state makes it.  Her last name will be hypenated (she currently has my maiden name) to my maiden name-his last name as will mine.  (When SO and I get married I will hyphenate to maiden name-SO's name.)  Whomever has her for the preceding weekend will get her for Labor Day and Memorial Day.  We're alternating 4th of July, I get Halloween every year but will attempt to include him when possible, and he gets Easter every year until 2:00 p.m.  I get her every Thanksgiving until 2:00 p.m. and from whenever the local school lets out (usually the 21st) to 9:00 a.m. on Christmas Day.  He then has her until 9:00 a.m. on New Year's Day.  Every Father's Day and his b-day he has her and Mother's Day and my b-day I have her.  He understands that Father's Day will need to leave enough time (like 9:00-6:00) that she can spend time with her 'dad' SO as well.  The crazy man wanted to have her birthday together every year with all the family (SO's and his gf's too) which is just ridiculous - that creates so many potential problems.  He wanted to alternate her birthday but  I put my foot down.  He did his best to get me to miscarry and ignored her for a year and a half.  I was on bed rest from 19 weeks and dealt with tons of of problems just to keep her alive and raise her.  So, um, yeah, I'M GOING TO BE THERE on her birthday EVERY year.  So, on her actual birthday we alternate years who hosts and we are required to have something (whether it's a day at the park or a fancy dinner) and the only ones allowed to attend are DD, SO, me, bio, his gf, and her biological grandparents.  Then we can each have our own parties.  We alternate years for tax purposes.  Once she begins attending a full time 5-day a week Kindgergarten (like the summer between kindergarten and first grade when she'll be 7 or 8 because of her birthday) she will spend June 1-15 with him, June 16-30 with me, July 1-15 with him, and July 16-31 with me, and August 1-8 with him.  I am the custodial parent and my address is her legal address and I am her primary care provider.  He will be getting every other weekend from about 8:00 on Friday to 8:00 on Sunday and every Tuesday from 4:30-8:00.  On his non-weekend weeks he will also get 8:30-12:30p.m. on Thursday mornings after school lets out.  (This is NOT what he said in mediation but whatever.  It'll give her more time to adjust to all the change before having another block.)  Holiday schedule trumps regular schedule.  Vacations must be during our two week time frame during the summer (when that starts) or within our regular visitation schedule.  We have to give 45 days notice to go out of state.  When she turns 3 that Thursday morning will become another overnight set up.  It took me 45 minutes to convince the mediator of that.  This schedule is going to screw with DD as it is and take her months to adjust.  I was not going to let her be damaged more to make him happy.  The mediator agreed there were compelling reasons and delayed that other overnight until she's three.    I think that covers everything.  I've had to repeat it so many times I can't remember if I hit all the points in every time.  OH!  When it's our year to claim her on taxes we also must deposit $1,000 into a savings account for her to use for something we both agree on.  (Like school supplies, tuition, school trips, extracurriculars, or to help her with a car.)  I don't know that it's lined out that we each have to pay half but we are both responsible for extra curriculars, etc so amibiguous language has it in there.  I suppose we should clear that up but I don't forsee that being an issue.  There is also an added note that both parents are allowed to teach their faith to DD BUT they are not allowed to let others belittle, demean, or others speak (or in any way communicate) ill of the other parent's religion.  (Bio is Pentecostal and I'm Buddhist so you can see where there are potential problems.)

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