I also had my son in San Diego. When we were asked we said "no, of course not" most of the nurses were supportive. One was not and went into a litany of reasons why we should, and told us how "quick" it was. She was asked to no longer talk to us or do any care for our son, not for that but because she was giving me a hard time about breastfeeding.
Your hospital experience- did they push circ? - Page 3
My first 2 were at the same hospital. Completly different experiences. With baby #1, they put out a cattle call in the evening that all parents need to go to the "dayroom" (a room with sofas and TVs and such where you can visit with larger groups of people than would be comfortable in your room and they hold classes, such as the baby-care basics class). While the parents are in there, they go over circumcision care and such and the boys are circumcised while parents are in the class. My roomie and I both had girls, but they were getting ready to go to the class. I went down the hall real quick (DH was in the room with DD) and asked them if parents of girls had to attend--no. If you aren't circumcising your son, do you need to go? No, definitely not. We circumcise the babies while the parents are in the class. My second baby 2 years later, I told them I was still undecided. But, I was terrified that I'd already signed the consent form when pre-admitting (was in a rush to pick up DD from daycare as they'd been late getting to me on my appointment). They said the procedure had changed and the parents must come to the nursing station and arrange for the circumcision. When I checked out, they were so apologetic that the doc who does the circumcisions had already left for the day a couple hours previous. But, I could bring him up at his 3 day well-baby check. Um, no thanks. Baby 3, also a girl, well if she'd been a boy, I still wouldn't get it done, but I didn't really pay attention. My roommate had her boy circumcised. If you have a boy in the hospital, try to either get a room alone or room with a woman who had a girl and get out of there asap.
I can't remember how many times I was asked, but I don't think it was many. My first two were girls and born in a free standing birth center, so it was a non-issue. I had my son in a baby-friendly hospital with only a special care nursery for sick/premature babies, 100% rooming in, very pro-breastfeeding, ext. When they asked there was no pressure, it seemed like they just needed to know so they could make the proper arrangements if I was, which of course I wasn't. It was no big deal.
It changed sometime between 2001 and 2003. Probably because some poor parents went in, thinking it was a required baby-care class and their son was done and they had enough clout (read: rank, either the mom or the dad) and refused to be "calmed down"--either by threats (I have seen young military personnel be threatened with calling the commander and/or first sergeants and the person telling the CO that "PVT Such-and-Such is threatening us and we are afraid" if they don't agree and drop the matter and get out of their face.) or appeasement, or payments of a sum of money (maybe, though, that happened, but then they changed policy to try to prevent it from happening again). Believe me, rank matters. They try to act as if it doesn't, but when I was a Private, having my first baby, I was treated as if I was uneducated and didn't know squat. The doctors/nurses tried to steamroll me and my decisions or act as if I didn't have a choice in matters. I got out before she was born and then as Mrs. X, I garnered a bit more respect, but as a Specialist's wife, not as much as an NCO or officer's wife. When I had the third baby, I was an NCO and I think I got a bit more leeway. And, by that time, I'm more of: better to beg forgiveness than ask permission with that kind of stuff and DD2 was born 45 minutes after I was admitted, so I pretty much got to do whatever I wanted.
One thing I'm never clear on, is what if one parent wants it and the other does not? What would stop DH from sending (hypothetical, newborn) DS to be circumcised while I'm in the shower or something? Or, mom wants it done and dad does not, but dad is deployed? Or, mom just sends baby to be done while dad isn't at the hospital? Or (soldier) mom protects baby in hospital, then deploys--dad gets it done while mom is deployed?
With my first boy we were never asked, and in fact we were told the pediatrician on call refuses to do circumcisions and we would have to schedule with our own pediatrician after release if we wanted one. With my second, born at a different hospital, we were asked, and refused, no less than 10 times at the hospital. Everyone was polite, but seemed surprised every time we refused.
My son is 16. I had a nurse come in the room and try to roll him off. I was in the bathroom. I asked her weres she was going and she said circumcision. I said we were not going to do that. She looked at me like I had a third eye. They didn't ask.
My second one I put it in the birth plan. She was suppose to be a boy. My doctor was Jewish. He never questioned no circumcision. I think that most of his clients were that way. I got to the the hospital and me and my first nurse went a round. She asked if I was sure it was a boy. I finally told her it didn't matter if it was a boy or girl no circumcision and asked her to leave. After I delivered, I told the doctor the exchange (I arrived at 9 am and was holding my child by 1015). He "talked" to her. I told him I wanted her no were near me or my child. I received an apology from her. This doctor ask for permission to use my birth plan as an example of other mothers. He blacked out my name.
My third child, I had just "updated" my birth plan from my daughter. This doctor was the second doctor's protege he was still giving out my birth plan. I was not asked about it before I had her. Never after, either.
My DS is 6 and was born in northern CA, and I don't remember being asked by anyone. We had a birth plan that stated we didn't want him to be circ'd, but I don't think we weren't asked because they were following our birth plan since one of the nurses came in after DS was born and apologized for doing something else that we had specifically stated we didn't want in the birth plan - she said she hadn't been aware of it and was really sorry once she was aware of it and read it. We actually asked the staff pediatrician how frequent it was for baby boys to be circ'd at this hospital when he came around to check DS the day after he was born. He seemed horrified that we asked, and told us we would have to find another doctor if we wanted to have it done (which we didn't - he misunderstood - we were just curious about statistics for our area). So, not a big deal for us at all.
No one offered when I had my DS 4 yrs ago either. I did tell them after he was born that he was NOT to be touched and I wanted a sign hung on his bed saying so. I was very worried about them "accidentally" grabbing him and doing it. Not that in the end it mattered since he roomed in the whole time but I was quiet pleased that It was not even offered.