How does this normally work?

[physmom]

Ok, if you've read my Too Good to be True thread you'll know that DD (2 years old) just started a Montessori school this week. She absolutely loves the school and it seems to be a good fit so far so we're really happy with it.  We do have some questions and we're just wondering how this normally plays out.  We were thinking of waiting a month or two before approaching the teacher about them but I'd like to hear from more experienced Montessori parents on how this normally works.

DD is sort of all over the place developmentally.  She's really good at puzzles and loves books but her fine motor skills sometimes are a bit behind her friends and her language skills her ejust don't reflect how well she can actually speak (the Montessori school is in her second language).  So when it comes to her classroom they have a lot of great fine motor skills works like pouring activities, stuff to teach her to pick up after herself (something she definitely needs to work on!), towers that you can build.  Stuff like that works really well for her and when I was in her classroom observing her she seemed really drawn to those activities and I'm guessing  because those are things she needs, you know what I mean? Plus when it comes to social interactions she really seems to be at the right place with the other kids in her room. 

Part of the problem is, though, that the books and puzzles in her room are just not at her level.  She's doing 48+ jigsaw puzzles at home and can even do 100 piece ones with help and in her room they just have insert puzzles.  The books are also very simple in comparison to what we normally read to her (they are basically a picture and a word per page board books whereas at home her favorite books is the Cat in the Hat).  Now, I'm sure the books will be useful for a little bit for her since she needs to work on her language skills in the local language but when I was there watching her she would go over to the books and seem really interested at first and then she seemed realized that book was very short and she'd just go on to the next book.  She basically did this with all the books and then started getting in her bored mood.  Basically the same thing happened with the puzzles too.  She went through and did pretty much all the puzzles they have there (they're all insert ones some with multiple connecting pieces but no jigsaw puzzles) and went through them all and did them and then went on her merry way. 

I guess, I'm just wondering if we should wait to see what the teachers say?  If we should ask them about it and if so when?  I don't exactly want to do that right now because I think she definitely needs some time to adjust to the new environment so I was thinking in 1-2 months? Does that sound reasonable?  FWIW, we had met with two of the teachers before she started and we had mentioned what books/puzzles she likes to do but those don't appear to be her main teacher (actually one of the teachers we met with was in the 3-6 classroom instead of her 0-3 classroom).

Maybe I'm worrying about nothing but it was just one thing that keeps popping up in my mind that I can't seem to let go of. Also, she's in school for 40 hours a week (I work), if it was just for a few hours a day I wouldn't care so much but because she spends so much time there I wonder if I should speak up? 

Edited by physmom - 3/25/11 at 6:25am

[babymommy2]

Well, in the 2 different montessori schools my children have been in:

Puzzles: there aren't any jigsaw puzzles. The only puzzles I can think of are inset puzzles of the continents, but that is more about learning the continents and less about puzzles.

one school had a "library" area with story books. a child could go here and ask for a story to be read to them. There were much simpler take home books for the children who were actually learning to read.

Our current school keeps stacks of books in the hall  (so any of the class rooms can use them) with levelled readers for the reading students, there is an small library for the teachers to go to get books to bring to the classroom. The children will be doing sandpaper letters long before they are reading books.  I think from your post your child is not reading yet, but looking at the books as picture books?

[carmel23]

We have some more complex puzzles then peg puzzles at our school (3-6, is your LO in 0-3?). BUt they usually are part of the theme the kids are working on (like Japan, or the Andes mountains, Life in the sea, etc.)

Same with books.  But I will say when my child self taught himself to read (and watching my 4 yo do the same now) they liked to read very basic books at first, because they were comfortable with the vocabulary.  Usually when children read to themselves the books will be one step below their 'challenge level.' And adults should read them books that are at/one step beyond. 

I would give it a month and then ask the guide if your dd can bring in a puzzle.  Our school always allows the kids to bring in their own books, so if she is reading a special book or wants the teacher to read her a special book maybe she can bring that it.

I will say that many children have a period of adjustment when they look bored, but that is most likely because they are accustomed to being in environments where they are not the drivers--and where adults are catering to their needs (entertainment, etc.).  It takes some time to adjust to the community here they are responsible for keeping themselves from boredom.  A certain amount of boredom is healthy.

Encourage you child to do lots of practical life because that will give her a sense of responsibility/belonging in her new community.  I would then talk to the guide about her needs after they've had some time to observe her.  Children's ability and level of concentration vary and at this point the guides are probably observing how long she can remain focused on a specific activity, etc.

But then don't be shy about talking to them about her interests/abilities.  However, it is also good to encourage her to feel comfortable to ask for the works she wants to do (rather then the parent asking for the works).  She needs to be comfortable expressing her desires and that certainly takes practice.

hth

[physmom]

Originally Posted by babymommy2 

Well, in the 2 different montessori schools my children have been in:

Puzzles: there aren't any jigsaw puzzles. The only puzzles I can think of are inset puzzles of the continents, but that is more about learning the continents and less about puzzles.

one school had a "library" area with story books. a child could go here and ask for a story to be read to them. There were much simpler take home books for the children who were actually learning to read.

Our current school keeps stacks of books in the hall  (so any of the class rooms can use them) with levelled readers for the reading students, there is an small library for the teachers to go to get books to bring to the classroom. The children will be doing sandpaper letters long before they are reading books.  I think from your post your child is not reading yet, but looking at the books as picture books?

 

Originally Posted by carmel23 

We have some more complex puzzles then peg puzzles at our school (3-6, is your LO in 0-3?). BUt they usually are part of the theme the kids are working on (like Japan, or the Andes mountains, Life in the sea, etc.)

Same with books.  But I will say when my child self taught himself to read (and watching my 4 yo do the same now) they liked to read very basic books at first, because they were comfortable with the vocabulary.  Usually when children read to themselves the books will be one step below their 'challenge level.' And adults should read them books that are at/one step beyond.

I didn't really think of this in the context of Montessori.  So it's pretty normal then not to have a lot of puzzles/books available?  Are there any works that sort of substitute then for kids that like puzzles?  It doesn't have to be puzzles but maybe there's another work that can fill her desire to do puzzle like activities? 

As for bringing in books. We actually did that once last week because DD insisted on bringing The Cat in the Hat with, which we read on the bus ride there.  I don't think it does much good, though, because the teachers there don't speak any English as far as I can tell. DD is not reading yet but she does have a number of her books memorized and knows some sight words.  She actually has a book from her school with pictures of the school and it shows a lot of the works in there.  In the 3-6 classroom (she's currently in the 0-3 classroom) they  have sandpaper letters and she saw them in the book with a picture of a kid writing in sand and was begging me to get those for her.  I think I'll give it some time still and then maybe mention to the teacher that she was interested in that? 

Originally Posted by carmel23 
I will say that many children have a period of adjustment when they look bored, but that is most likely because they are accustomed to being in environments where they are not the drivers--and where adults are catering to their needs (entertainment, etc.).  It takes some time to adjust to the community here they are responsible for keeping themselves from boredom.  A certain amount of boredom is healthy.

Encourage you child to do lots of practical life because that will give her a sense of responsibility/belonging in her new community.  I would then talk to the guide about her needs after they've had some time to observe her.  Children's ability and level of concentration vary and at this point the guides are probably observing how long she can remain focused on a specific activity, etc.

But then don't be shy about talking to them about her interests/abilities.  However, it is also good to encourage her to feel comfortable to ask for the works she wants to do (rather then the parent asking for the works).  She needs to be comfortable expressing her desires and that certainly takes practice.

hth

Actually from observing her she didn't look very bored when it comes to most of the works (pouring seems to really, really fascinate her! as does dumping the liquid all over the table too.. ) but with the puzzles/books she definitely had that look.  She kept going back to them like she wanted to do them/look at them.  She'd sort of flip through the books one after another and then throw them aside (ditto for the puzzles).  As for all the other works she really loved them and she's STILL talking about painting time.   She also gives me an update every day on what colors of playdough were available.

[babymommy2]

the binomial and trinomial cube are "puzzle like" but of course are 3 dimensional.They are math activites and I don't think they are the first ones. The works will be done in a specific order.

All children will do things a bit differently. I wouln't worry too much if she is finding activites she likes. There will be so many new things to do. 

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by babymommy2 

the binomial and trinomial cube are "puzzle like" but of course are 3 dimensional.They are math activites and I don't think they are the first ones. The works will be done in a specific order.

All children will do things a bit differently. I wouln't worry too much if she is finding activites she likes. There will be so many new things to do. 

I agree with this.  If she likes doing puzzles at home, then do lots of puzzles at home!  My daughter absolutely loves puzzles and will come home to do her puzzles. 

Our school goes through 8th grade, so there are tons of books at all levels. The children are welcome to go to the elementary grades and borrow books.  So that does seem a little different. But my DD often brings books from home, still.

Does her class have geography?  Or maybe not until 3--6.  But the maps are essentially the same skill as puzzles.....

But things like pouring water are wonderful activities for children to do.

[physmom]

I'll keep an eye out for those activities when she gets older.  I know they don't have them in her classroom yet, though. Mostly they have a lot of stacking towers for her age group.  Oh, and we definitely still do puzzles at home too!  It's just we don't have a lot of time because DH and I both work and she's in school 8hours per day +30 min bus to and from school.  So basically mornings are get her ready to go and when she comes home from school we're cleaning up/preparing dinner, eating, and then we'll read a bit and then it's bed time.  Sometimes we'll do a puzzle before bed instead of books but, unfortunately, there's just not a lot of time. :(

Oh, but she did come home yesterday from school saying that she read three books at school yesterday!  A "yellow one, a blue one, and a red one" .  I have no clue what they were about but apparently the colors were very significant. I know they have a nice reading area in the center of the school grounds where they have books for kids of all ages but I have no clue if/when they take her age group there. 

Unfortunately, they don't have geography yet either.  She really loves maps. Although doesn't quite get them yet, she will try and ask questions about them and the such. 

I do have to say that I really love the life skills thing and it's one of my biggest reasons for being on board with Montessori.  We're already seeing some great side effects at home because DD has been returning her plate to the kitchen and picking up after herself more now.  She keeps asking to help out with the dishes so I'm trying to introduce her to that slowly but it's hard because our sink is so high and it's pretty small (plus the plug doesn't work so well so it's hard to fill it up with water to wash the dishes).  We've also had a lot less spills when she's drinking with a cup!

ETA: also from talking to her it sounds like she's getting a lot of outdoors time to play with the older kids too, which she's really been enjoying so I'm happy to hear that.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by physmom 

I do have to say that I really love the life skills thing and it's one of my biggest reasons for being on board with Montessori.  We're already seeing some great side effects at home because DD has been returning her plate to the kitchen and picking up after herself more now.  She keeps asking to help out with the dishes so I'm trying to introduce her to that slowly but it's hard because our sink is so high and it's pretty small (plus the plug doesn't work so well so it's hard to fill it up with water to wash the dishes).  We've also had a lot less spills when she's drinking with a cup!

OT a little, but Montessori did a great job of getting me to realize how hard we make it for our children to work on independence, just by how we set up our homes. I understand the cost involved in building true "family homes" that would be accessible to all - lower sinks and hooks and shelves for children, wheelchair and rolling-walker accessibility for the elderly and disabled, etc. but if I had huge amounts of money for capital and the construction skills, I'd start a construction/development company that built these kinds of houses. 

[physmom]

Ok, so now that DD's been going there some weeks we've run into problems.  I'm not exactly sure what they are stemming from, though.  She seems to have gotten into some min-war with this boy there.  Over the weekend she was talking about him non-stop, complaining that he was really mad at her etc.  I told DH to ask the school what was going on but he forgot.  Well, that Monday she came home with two scratches around her eyes!  I get that kids get in fights at school when they are that age but the scratches were really close to her eyes and I would expect the school to explain what happened but they didn't say anything when I picked her up that day (and I didn't notice until we were on the bus taking her home already).  So DH talked to them the next day and it seems her and this boy were fighting over a toy and the scratched her (I *think* she was trying to take it away from him). 

Since then DD's been talking about this boy non-stop, complaining that he's really mad at her etc.  Yesterday when I picked her up from school the director came over to talk to me and said there had been another incident and DD has pushed the kid and that it's because she's stronger than the other kids there?  DD is definitely really strong for her age but she's clearly probably one of the younger kids in the group.  They have a parent-teach conference coming up so we're going to try talking to them more then.   DH also said at drop-off today that DD was really upset and didn't want to go back to school at all.  She seems to love her teacher (and talks about her often and even says she misses her teacher) but he's worried that she's not bonding at all to the other kids in the group.  She never mentions any friends from her classroom (well, except this boy that she's been fighting with) and when she speaks about her friends in either her friends in the US or kids that she's met with me that live in our apt complex. 

DH thinks it's a language issue and also that she might be bored in the classroom.  He gets to see her more in the classroom and interacting with the kids than I do (I do pick-ups and there you just wait outside for the child whereas he does drop-offs and then you actually take your kid inside and can talk to the teacher a bit).  DD really doesn't seem to be picking up on the local language here at all.  I know she can understand it well but she just never, ever speaks it.  She's very social and will chat up anybody who even looks at her on the bus back home but it's always in English.  We're both sort wondering how her languages skills are affecting her school situation and hopefully at the parent-teacher conference we can get her teacher's perspective on it too. 

I will say that the few times I did do drop-offs she seemed to have befriended some of the older kids that aren't in her class.  Many times when she entered the campus they'd stop to talk to her and definitely knew her.  But I just never got that same impression from the kids in her age group.  Then again it might be that the older kids know some English (they start English there at age 3) so they can actually understand what she's saying to them...