DD is four months and I'm in dire need of napping help!! Sleepless in NY =(

[TheDivineMrsM]

DD is almost 4 months old, and doesn't nap. She's clearly tired, but either doesn't go to sleep or doesn't stay that way. When I see that she's tired, I'll go through our bedtime routine and put her into her crib... and she's awake and crying as soon as I put her down or she gets up ten minutes later. She can't seem to put herself back to sleep. (She sleeps well at night though. I put her down around 8:30/9, she wakes up once at night for a quick snack, and stays asleep until about 6:30/7. I swaddle her, rock her, and nurse her to sleep, and put her down sleeping). We started doing Kim West's "Sleep Lady Shuffle" this week b/c I'm not all that comfortable with a CIO method, but would consider it if the Shuffle doesn't work. I'm giving it a week to see an improvement. 

If you used any kind of sleep training, did you use it for naps, nights, and overnight? Our bedtime and overnight routine seem to work and I'd hate to change it up. 

What kind of sleep training methods did you try? How long did it take for it to be effective? Am I doing something wrong?

HELP!

[Adaline'sMama]

Im sure you arent doing anything wrong. I know its easy to get overwhelmed when you havent had a break because your kid wont take a nap, but you can probably rest assured that your baby is just going through a phase. DD went 6 weeks without napping for more than 30 minutes at a time. It was awful, but then she started sitting up by her self and trying to scoot around. Youd be amazed at how fast movement tires them out. I was actually having to drive DD around in the car to get her to nap in her carseat just so I could think clearly enough to write the checks to pay our bills (from the drivers seat...in park).

IMO, sleep training of any kind is only effective until their next milestone. We get in routines where she is sleeping a certian way ever day and then all of the sudden, shes doing something completely different. I would highly advise against CIO, especially after only a week of trying the Shuffle. Babies need time to adjust, and it may right itself without any of your help. Personally, I wouldnt worry too much about her napping, since she is sleeping through the night. But, I dont believe that babies need to be "trained".  

[osker]

I don't know the shuffle...  but it sounds like she's falling asleep with the nipple in her mouth, and then she's annoyed when she wakes and it's not there anymore.  Can you try tickling her cheek just before you put her down, so that she opens her eyes a tiny bit and sees that she's going to bed without the nipple?  I dunno, just a thought...

Oh, and also.. I would write down when she does sleep throughout the day for the next week that you're trying the shuffle. You might see patterns that you can work with and maybe you'll be able to put her down ten minutes earlier than you are seeing her go to sleep now.. that way she'll be less tired and more likely to sleep?

[newmamalizzy]

Please, please don't CIO your baby for naps!  I am the proud mother of the world's absolute worst ever napper, and I know how very frazzling it can be to have a non-napping baby.  In fact, I think my entire experience of motherhood thus far would be different if I had a baby who napped.  That said - your baby is so young, and her napping habits are going to change so much.  Doing a CIO method for napping with a 4 month old is like sending off your 10 year old with an algebra textbook and expecting her to pass an exam.  Your LO may need some real help from you learning about sleep, how to relax for it, how to stay asleep.  This doesn't come naturally to all babies.  It definitely doesn't come naturally to mine. 

It sounds like you don't co-sleep at night, but maybe you could try nursing your baby to sleep in your bed for naps, then staying with her for a while to pat her or soothe her back to sleep.  It's likely that if you do this for a while, she'll get into the habit of sleeping for a longer time and be able to do it without you.  You may find that you only need to stay for 10 minutes and then she'll sleep for a long time without waking again.  Oh, and the driving thing works wonders when you just need a break! 

[Knitting Mama]

First of all, I would start by trying to put her down before she starts acting tired. With my girl, when she was acting tired, she was already overly tired and it was a battle to get her to sleep. But if I caught her half an hour earlier, she went down easily. I would start making notes on how long she goes between naps before she starts acting tired, and aim to get her down before that point (e.g. if she acts tired at 2.5 hours, get her down at 2).

Secondly, have you tried alternative methods other than just laying her in a crib? Many babies need more comfort than that to sleep well. Can you wear her? Put her in a swing or vibrating bouncy chair? Nurse her side lying and then roll away?

Finally, 4 months is a really common age for sleep regression. Despite your best efforts, it may just be time that she needs to get better at sleeping.

[arieltron]

your LO is still very young, you just need to be patient and give it time. In a month or two she may be taking long naps and not sleeping through the night at all, or some other toss-up of your current sleep schedule. I know it's frustrating, my DD was and still is a terrible napper and sleeper in general. I think sleep issues are the hardest part of early motherhood.

[BenimBebek]

I have a non-napping 3 month old.  The only way he will sleep is in a wrap (as long as I am standing up)- but only for MAX 3o minutes, or with me in bed.  If I even THINK about setting him down, he flips.  My daughter was the opposite.  I was so shocked and depressed at first with my son, because I couldnt understand WHAT I was doing wrong.  I know it feels like you NEVER get a break, but once I just accepted that he really believes he needs me terribly, I started to feel better.  I get NOTHING done during the day, I mean NOTHING, but we are all happier now that I have accepted he is a needy little guy and that I have to sleep with him if I want him to nap or sleep at night.  I would LOVE to know what caused him to be so needy.  My daughter is the most independent child ever!  If I tried to get her to sleep with me she would laugh and ask why.  

Letting them cry raises cortisol levels in the infant, which cause an insane amount of immune problems and illness in their adult life.  I think because infants brain pathways are being establish and if you establish them with high cortisol levels it completely alters the wiring or something.  So, definitely avoid that.  I know its so frustrating :(

A wise doctor told me, infants never have wants, everything they ask for they truly need, so give it to them.  ERG, it made me crazy, but Im doing it now and its making us all a happier family.  (Still super excited for ME TIME again one day)!  They sure arent kidding about making sacrifices for your kids!

[Bird Girl]

Well, sleep training doesn't mean CIO--it means teaching them to sleep!

Shorten the morning wake-time interval--that's my number one tip for encouraging good naps. The morning nap is actually more of a continuation of night-time sleep (there's more REM or dream-state sleep than later naps.) You can start getting them ready for the morning nap as early as 1 hour after they wake up!

Also, if nursing is going well, I would not hesitate to introduce a pacifier for naptime. My kids always needed to be swaddled to sleep well, and once they were swaddled, they couldn't get their thumbs into their mouths, so a pacifier was a great help. Both gave it up by 9 months.

[St. Margaret]

Yeah my four mo is going through lousy naps right now. But he tends to sleep on me anyway! Your baby is sleeping like a grown up almost at night so maybe he needs more during the day-- perhaps you could nap with him once or twice a day, be there to nurse, read a book . But babies are always changing! Please please don't dont do CIO. It's a short season. With dd it was hard-- this time I know how fast it'll be over. We cosleep all the time but the sleep gets sooo much better so soon.