WWYD? 11 YO, savings account, and XH - update! post #12

[Sharon, RN]

I'll try to make this quick.  LOL  I set up a savings account with my credit union years ago for my DS#1.  However, my understanding of the banking laws (from the credit union and a friend who is the VP of an internet bank) is that either parent (who can prove it with a birth certificate) can come in and take the money out at any time.  Therefore, I've been hesitant to keep any real $ in the account.  My XH knows about the account, but I don't think he knows he can get $ out of it.  

I don't believe that XH would purposely steal from DS#1, but he always has financial issues and, if he found out he could get the $, I could see him "borrowing" it with good intentions and promises of putting it back.  Which he would never do.  But at DS's age, I really want him to get used to using his account (making deposits, withdrawals, checking his balance online, etc), especially because he can get a checking account at 13.

I have considered opening an account at a different bank, but I'm afraid that DS will mention it to his dad (I usually take DS to make deposits, etc) and then I'm back in the same boat.

FTR, I have sole psychical and legal custody.  I was told this was irrelevant to XH ability to withdraw funds, as long as he has a birth certificate.  XH does not pay any child support.  I just feel like this is the prime time for DS to learn about accounts, but I'm too afraid to put any real money in!

So, WWYD?

[Sharlla]

only the parent on the bank account can access the account as far as I'm aware. i would double check with your bank to be sure.

[GoBecGo]

Are you SURE he can take money out?  I saw this on the front page, i'm in the UK and i *just* this morning opened accounts for my DD's at our local branch.  I was the adult who took them in, opened the accounts, and signed the paperwork.  They cannot withdraw money without MY signature.  In the UK you can request a copy of a birth certificate if you want, anyone's birth certificate you like, so owning a birth certificate is not enough to get access to the account.  All the accounts i looked at before choosing this one need an adult signature and only that (or those) adult(s) can withdraw the money until the child is 16.

Have you considered opening him an online savings account and then moving whatever you put into "his" savings into that account after taking him to make deposits?  That's what i'd do.

[CatsCradle]

I'm curious to know how you filled out the paperwork when initially opening the account.  I ask this because in my experience, most applications for minors that I've seen (bank or otherwise) require that the guardians be listed.  If you opened the account listing only yourself as a guardian, then I don't foresee any problem.  You would possibly have to show a birth certificate or other identification to prove that you are the guardian, but I would be surprised if the bank or credit union didn't have certain safeguards in place for these types of situations.  Now, if you listed you spouse as a guardian and other relationship on the account, then it might be a problem.

My ex-mom emptied my savings account when I was a young child when she ran off with another man.  My dad was overseas at the time but they were both listed on the account.  So whether you're in a supposed agreeable relationship or not, there certainly is risk. 

[Sarah W]

I would close the account and use a savings account attached to your checking for your son, or I'd set the account up in your name only. His name doesn't need to be on the account for it to be his and to learn everything he needs to know.

 

[velochic]

If you set it up as a UTMA (uniform transfer to minors), the money belongs to your son (they're irrevocable).  Your ex has no access to it unless he is designated as one of the custodians on the account.  Depending on your state laws, if you are both designated as custodians, it may require both of you to do anything but deposit into the account.  If you're not sure how it is set up, check with the bank.  I'm sure they deal with these sorts of questions all the time.

[Catubodua]

when we set up a savings account for our son, only one of us could be an adult custodian on the account and we picked me.  my husband can not access any information on it, nevermind take any money out - even if he has a birth certificate.  call your credit union again and ask about it, then call back and ask someone else.  i'm leaning towards thinking you got bad information.

[Cheshire]

I agree to check with the bank personally.  Also, do what you need to protect your son's money first.  Worrying about offending his dad is a waste of energy.  Obviously you don't trust him or else you wouldn't have wondered about him "borrowing" the money.  If you need to close it and open a new account just do it.  If you son chooses to mention it to his dad you don't have to explain anything to him if he asks.  You could just say it was time for DS to open his own account or the new bank is more convenient.

[JesKace]

Originally Posted by Sarah W 

I would close the account and use a savings account attached to your checking for your son, or I'd set the account up in your name only. His name doesn't need to be on the account for it to be his and to learn everything he needs to know.

 

This is what I'd do.

[kristandthekids]

I'm a child of divorced parents. I would put half of my babysitting money, holiday money, and summer job money in that account. Both my parents took turns clearing it out under the "borrowing" it theory. It never got paid back. When it came time for me to go to college, the thousands I should have had saved was gone. I'm in my 30's and still paying my student loans now.

You're a good mom for thinking to protect your son in this way.

[Sharon, RN]

Oh, K, I'm so sorry!  That is so unfair to you.    My parents were poor, but when I started working I was able to get my own account- but no one ever taught me any money management skills, things I've just started learning in earnest recently (when I became disabled and couldn't return to work).  I've wasted SO MUCH $ throughout my life, it makes me a little sick.    But, I look forward to the future and know I can do better.  I just want to give DS#1 a head start.  We used to go to the bank and make deposits all the time, he would interact with the tellers, etc.  But after I found out this information, I started hiding his money in one of my accounts.  But, I want him to really feel like the money is his, and so is the responsibility and the consequences.  If he wants to invest some, or get a CD or something, I want him to have "his" money to do it with.  I actually do have a little bit of $ in an ING account for him, but it's kind of a PIA now because my name, my address, my bank account, etc has changed.  I can update all that, they just make it kind of difficult to avoid fraud.  I appreciate that, I just need to get on it!  Then maybe I can have him put most of the money in there.      

Thanks for all the advice!  The credit union told me this when I was going through my divorce.  Maybe they just don't feel like dealing with divorced parents.  My XH name was never on the acct.  It's in DS#1 name, and I'm listed as the "custodian."  I feel like XH shouldn't have any say to the $.  Also, I'm not worried about offending him (LOL  that'll be the day!) I just don't want him to find out that DS#1 has an account at a different bank that he can waltz up to and empty.

I'm going to go to the credit union on Monday and find out more about it.  There are 2 banks within walking distance of our house, so opening up another account and hoping DS just doesn't mention it to his dad is an option.  A third option would be to have DH (his stepfather) and DS#1 open an account in their names.  That may  help avoid the whole "divorced parents" issue.

[Sharon, RN]

I checked with the credit union while I was opening a safety deposit box about this issue.  The representative told me that yes, it used to be their policy to let either parent withdraw funds from a minor's account, but that they had recently changed their policy to make it so only the custodian (me) or the account holder (DS#1) can withdraw funds from the account.  Yay!  She said that their are only 2 issues: DS#1 can withdraw funds by himself, he does not need my approval, so it's possible his father could bring him in and have him withdraw funds.  Honestly, that seems like a lot of work for my ex, who only sees my son for a weekend every couple of months (when the credit union is not open), and DS cannot get to the credit union without me.  Also, if I were to die while DS#1 was still a minor, then my ex would have access to the $.  But since custody would revert to him anyway, him having access to the savings account would be a moot point anyway.

Just wanted to let everyone know.  Thanks for all the advice!