Spring Unitarian Universalist Thread - All Welcome

[Adele_Mommy]

Welcome to the Spring support, community, information, conversation, and fun thread for UUs and UU curious.

Here is the link to the previous Winter thread.

Come on in and say "Hi", ask a question, tell a story, or feel free to just lurk for awhile.

This new thread is even later than the last one.  Perhaps that can be explained by the fact that it is currently SNOWING where I am!    However, that does not explain my shameful neglect of my own thread the past few weeks.  I must admit, I have been feeling a little disconnected from my religion.  I am still quite active with my church, but that feeling of spirituality that I used to get so frequently and easily has been rather elusive.  Has anything similar ever happened to you?  If so, did you do anything intentional about it or just wait it out?  I think actually it is appropriate that it is now Spring - the perfect time for a refresh and restart!

Here is a quote from the reading I used at a Religious Services Committee meeting on Wednesday:

There is wisdom in wildness, and though we are not wild, there will always remain wildness within us. We touch it when we are at peace with nature, when our senses are heightened, when we become one with our surroundings, whatever they be. We taste it when we are in love.  ~ from The Song and the Sigh by Dan Schatz

Wishing you all a season of growth, renewal, peace, and love.

         

Adele

 

[treehugz]

Hi... subbin'.  I feel spiritually disconnected right now too... I think I'm just generally down lately, seeing only the negative and worried about the state of the world.  I used to be so spiritually connected and secure even though I didn't attend a church, and I thought the world was a beautiful, magical place.  But now, I just see all the atrocities and feel so sad.  I worry about raising my dd in this world, her safety and what her generation may see.  I guess since having dd, I've started paying more attention to all the dangers and bad stuff in the world, and it's really started to affect my worldview and spirituality.  I hate to be a downer, but I'm not seeing the hope lately and I'd love some ideas to get back to a good spiritual place.   

[mammal_mama]

Hi all, I'm subbed now! Adele_Mommy and treehugz, I'm glad to see you here! I hope to come back an reply further when I have more time!

[Adele_Mommy]

 treehugz and mammal_mama!  I'm glad to see you here.

treehugz - I'm sorry to hear you are feeling spiritually disconnected now too (though it does make me feel less alone  ).

For me I think the weird weather this year has had an impact.  I love the changing seasons, but I also like the sense of order and cycles.  We had very little snow all winter and then this morning there was snow on the ground again for the second time in less than a week and it is practically April!

Also for me, a lot of my activity with my church this past year has been focused on my role as chairperson of the Religious Services Committee.  I feel this is a very important committee and in certain ways I enjoy this role, but my mindset in it is too close too my mindset at work (to-do lists, tasks, delegating, organizing, etc.).  I am beginning to think I should go back to being a Small Group Ministery group facilitator.  That way of serving my church seemed to tend more naturally to the spiritual for me.

Also, like you treehugz, I am not feeling like the world is as magical as it has felt to me in times past.  The combination of recent world disasters and a lot of little things going wrong in my home-life seems to be effectively stamping out my sense of wonder at the moment.

OK.  This is a cliche, but I need to take SOME small step.  I am going to list three good things from today that I actively appreciated and was consciously aware of at the moment.  Not necessarily spiritual, but . . .

1.  My boss at work is really great.  That is an on-going thing, but today he used my process flows as a positive example and that made me feel confident and secure in my job.

2.  When I was playing cards at lunch today there was one hand where I kept track of the cards I needed to just right and I was aware of a feeling of "exercising" my brain that was very satisfying.

3.  My husband left me a voice message informing me of several mundane trivial things, but then he ended it with a little ramble and then, "I love you" and I could hear the love in his voice and feel it in my heart.

Anyone else want to share warm fuzzies? 

[Stargirl]

HAPPY SPRING!!! Thanks for keeping us going around here Adele!

Adele and Treehugz, I hear the need for some TLC in your posts. A wise mama friend of mine always asks me: "What are you doing just for you these days?" A simply question that is so important. I think that you hit the nail on the head Adele re: RSC vs SGM. Volunteer time should be as much unlike your regular work as possible so that there is some component that is special just for you. I moved cross country half a year ago and have just started to volunteer in our new congregation. I chose something completely unrelated to what I had been doing at my previous church so that it was fresh and stimulating. It also allows me to meet new people that I wouldn't normally interact with so I am building new relationships which I find very meaningful. I highly recommend it! Another suggestion, how about signing up for an Adult Religious Exploration class. Instead of taking a leadership role, give yourself some time and space to reconnect to your spirituality.

Hope the sunshine finds you both soon and that your spirit feels lighter amongst the chaos of this world. :)

[onyxravnos]

hi all! our local UU is doing a child dedication this sunday and my kids are excited about it :) just thought i would pop in the say "hi" and sub!

[Starflower]

I've decided to give our church another try. I posted on the thread a few months ago that I was thinking about leaving because our church didn't seem to be meeting our needs. While this is still true, I think am getting to OK with that. I was going to completely drop church. DH and DD don't really seem to miss it. DD hates RE, etc. Now we may be getting a new RE program and director that is more directed toward whole-life learning. I am hoping they hire someone else as director because I do not like our current DRE. We originally started going there because we wanted a community and RE for when we had kids.

For now, I have decided that it's OK if DD adn DH do not choose to go, but that I still have some investments there. The tipping point was that I am having a major health issue going on and I wanted to tell people on our email list because I knew they would want to know, but I was reluctant to ask for help because I haven't been there in so long.

Eventually, I sent out two emails. One was a question to the atheists on the list about why they go to church. The responses from the atheists (plus a couple Buddhists and agnostics) were very interesting. Many were similar to my original reasons for going, but some added a depth to their reasons that I had not anticipated. After that discussion, I felt OK about telling them about my situation. They have been very supportive so far and it's felt good to have a built-in community as a back-up since we only really have a few friends here and we don't have family here.

So I am meeting with our new minister tomorrow morning for coffee/tea at my house. I was on the board that voted her in and then I had to leave due to (other) health reasons so I never got to know her. We just kind of dropped out. I am going to talk to her about how involved in the church I want to be and how to do it on my own, without family necessarily being involved. I had always envisioned as kind of a family thing, but I guess it doesn't need to be.

We will also discuss my health issue. I am having surgery on Friday to remove and identify a bone tumor between my brain and my left eye. I am really scared right now. Strangely, I have found atheism of all things to be comforting. Staying scientific about things helps me feel better. I have OCD and I think that focusing on too much on things I have no control over puts me into OCD-mode. I know some people find praying to be helpful, but I often end up in an OCD rut so I've found I am happier not doing it. Right now I have people from all kinds of religions praying for me (including the Mormons across the street) plus some atheists who are "thinking" about me. It's helpful to my mental health just knowing that all these people care.

Normally, I would be nervous about meeting the minister for the first time. We had two others to whom I felt close, but then they left. This was very hard for me, kind of like a break up of sorts. But I guess at this point, I just have more pressing issues on my mind.

[Adele_Mommy]

onyxravnos!  I love child dedications. 

[Adele_Mommy]

Originally Posted by Stargirl 

HAPPY SPRING!!! Thanks for keeping us going around here Adele!

Adele and Treehugz, I hear the need for some TLC in your posts. A wise mama friend of mine always asks me: "What are you doing just for you these days?" A simply question that is so important. I think that you hit the nail on the head Adele re: RSC vs SGM. Volunteer time should be as much unlike your regular work as possible so that there is some component that is special just for you. I moved cross country half a year ago and have just started to volunteer in our new congregation. I chose something completely unrelated to what I had been doing at my previous church so that it was fresh and stimulating. It also allows me to meet new people that I wouldn't normally interact with so I am building new relationships which I find very meaningful. I highly recommend it! Another suggestion, how about signing up for an Adult Religious Exploration class. Instead of taking a leadership role, give yourself some time and space to reconnect to your spirituality.

Hope the sunshine finds you both soon and that your spirit feels lighter amongst the chaos of this world. :)

Thank you so much for your kind, wise words, Stargirl!    You are absolutely right.  I loved the Earth Day service we had last Sunday.  One element of the service I particularly enjoyed was the singing meditation.  I have found myself quitely chanting,

I am the flow.  I am the ebb.

I am the weaver, I am the web

several times since the service.  I think we have a Singing Meditation group that meets as part of our Wednesday activities.  I might look into that.

I finally got around to starting reading the most recent issue of UU World a few days ago.  I had forgotten how just doing that helps me feel spiritually connected.  I was particularly inspired by the article on a "missional" UU church in OK, "Cultivating an Abandoned Place".

I hope you continue to find your volunteer work fulfilling.  Your church is lucky to have you!

Adele

[Adele_Mommy]

Originally Posted by Starflower 

I've decided to give our church another try. I posted on the thread a few months ago that I was thinking about leaving because our church didn't seem to be meeting our needs. While this is still true, I think am getting to OK with that. I was going to completely drop church. DH and DD don't really seem to miss it. DD hates RE, etc. Now we may be getting a new RE program and director that is more directed toward whole-life learning. I am hoping they hire someone else as director because I do not like our current DRE. We originally started going there because we wanted a community and RE for when we had kids.

For now, I have decided that it's OK if DD adn DH do not choose to go, but that I still have some investments there. The tipping point was that I am having a major health issue going on and I wanted to tell people on our email list because I knew they would want to know, but I was reluctant to ask for help because I haven't been there in so long.

Eventually, I sent out two emails. One was a question to the atheists on the list about why they go to church. The responses from the atheists (plus a couple Buddhists and agnostics) were very interesting. Many were similar to my original reasons for going, but some added a depth to their reasons that I had not anticipated. After that discussion, I felt OK about telling them about my situation. They have been very supportive so far and it's felt good to have a built-in community as a back-up since we only really have a few friends here and we don't have family here.

So I am meeting with our new minister tomorrow morning for coffee/tea at my house. I was on the board that voted her in and then I had to leave due to (other) health reasons so I never got to know her. We just kind of dropped out. I am going to talk to her about how involved in the church I want to be and how to do it on my own, without family necessarily being involved. I had always envisioned as kind of a family thing, but I guess it doesn't need to be.

We will also discuss my health issue. I am having surgery on Friday to remove and identify a bone tumor between my brain and my left eye. I am really scared right now. Strangely, I have found atheism of all things to be comforting. Staying scientific about things helps me feel better. I have OCD and I think that focusing on too much on things I have no control over puts me into OCD-mode. I know some people find praying to be helpful, but I often end up in an OCD rut so I've found I am happier not doing it. Right now I have people from all kinds of religions praying for me (including the Mormons across the street) plus some atheists who are "thinking" about me. It's helpful to my mental health just knowing that all these people care.

Normally, I would be nervous about meeting the minister for the first time. We had two others to whom I felt close, but then they left. This was very hard for me, kind of like a break up of sorts. But I guess at this point, I just have more pressing issues on my mind.

Hi Starflower,

I'm sorry to hear about your health issues and I am glad you are finding support in your church community.  Anyone would be scared in your situation and, as I have OCD as well, I can only imagine what this is like for you.  I will be thinking of you as well and wishing you a speedy recovery.

Adele

[Starflower]

Thanks, Adele

I had a good meeting with the minister. She confirmed what I had already pretty much decided: that we will become "friends" rather than members of the church for now.

Gotta go braid DD's hair so I can get us all to bed. Have to get up super early tomorrow.

[Adele_Mommy]

I am lighting a virtual J&C candle for Starflower, a member of this thread online community who is having surgery today.  

[treehugz]

Starflower... I'm sending healing thoughts to you and hope your surgery went well.  Another candle for you...

[Stargirl]

 Thinking of you Starflower and wishing you a speedy recovery!

Happy Easter everyone. May this time of renewal be wonderful for each of you.

[Starflower]

Thanks. I am still in the hospital but they have wi-fi. Yay! The neurosurgeon removed most of the tumor and preliminary results were reported as "good as can be" and hopefully benign. Might have a few cells left because it was in the bone and since it is a structural bone between the eye and brain, she was not able to remove as much extra bone as she would have liked. So I may end up with some further treatments. Not sure when I get out of the hospital. Had hoped by today but I don' think so.

I might put something up on TAO. I had thought about posting something somewhere earlier but I wasn't sure where. I didn't want to do health and healing because I am not looking for medical advice. Just support.

Anyway, thanks for the UU love. My congregation has been very supportive online and I think in the near future may be bringing us food and all. I liked the new minister and hope to get to know her better. I figure maybe I will stay part of the the UU community at this church in a limited way for awhile. The minister was very supportive of this. I tend to get over-committed and then burned out so I don't want to do any volunteering. Just maybe some re-acclimating to the church, more on my own than as a whole family unit. We'll see how it all goes.

Thanks for the candles and support.

[Adele_Mommy]

Yay! 

Starflower,  I am so glad the surgery went smoothly and you are already "connected" again!  I hope you continue to recover quickly and get to go home soon.

Adele

[Adele_Mommy]

Thanks for the Easter wishes, Stargirl.

We had a really good "UU Easter" at my house this weekend.  Sermon on Sunday was moving and inspiring.  My DD watched Jesus Christ Superstar (the 2000 version) with the middle school RE class.  She had watched it for the first time just a few days ago and wanted to see it again.  After the service I went downstairs and watched the end with her.  I love that movie.

My husband baked a ham and we had a nice, low key "feast".  My daughter participated in a neighborhood easter egg hunt put on by a devout Christian family that required her listening to a version of the Christian Easter story.  We talked about what was said afterward, which prompted some good discussion.  (My DD found parts of it "a little scary").  Then we had a little easter egg hunt in our backyard with a smaller group of neighborhood kids and without the theology.  It was fun.

Hope everyone is having a good Spring.

Adele

[Starflower]

Adele - your UU Easter sounds very nice. Ham sounds really good right now, too. Hmmm.....

I think the Christian story of Easter is pretty freaky for kids. I remember finding it disturbing as a child. One of my nurses in the hospital said everything goes back to pagan roots anyway, which I agree with. My mom wrote "Happy Easter" on my hospital room white board and DD brought her basket to show me. I did the shopping a few weeks ago - she knows her bunny and thought it was sweet that I was the bunny. 

I am home from the hospital now. Got home yesterday afternoon. Feeling fairly icky today but need to take it easy. I think I was up a bit too much this morning. Gotta go slow.

[treehugz]

Originally Posted by Starflower 
I think the Christian story of Easter is pretty freaky for kids. I remember finding it disturbing as a child. 

Yep, me too.  A friend took me to see Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ, and I was dumbfounded.  Usually I can make metaphors with Christian stories, but I couldn't do a thing with that.

Glad you're home Starflower.

[Starflower]

I didn't see Mel Gibson's movie, but I went to a Methodist church as a kid. In youth group, we watched a film once about the crucifixion and they showed them pounding the nine-inch nails into Jesus' palms. It wasn't super gory but it was very disturbing. And it was such a common practice. It wasn't like Jesus was the only guy up there dying that day.

Our previous UU minister had some very interesting things to say about Jesus and what the real meanings behind some things are  - like turning the other cheek, was actually an act of political defiance, not rolling over to someone. It was interesting. I should try to find out what book he had. It just sounded like from what the minister said that many things are so far out of context in the current religion that they actually meant very different things before. Not that would surprise people here.

Anyway, I'm a bit out of it today, so hopefully that made sense. Going to go take a nap now.