How do you know when it is time to wean?

[Chloe'sMama]

DD1 is almost 3 (well, 33 months) and she is still going strong.  DD2 is 6 months and doing pretty well.

I am not enjoying nursing either of them at this point.  I am not talking about weaning DD2, but I LOVED nursing DD1 until about a month ago and now I just dont enjoy nursing either of them.  DD1 is being pretty difficult to discipline and I am not feeling as close to her as before, and I know that is effecting our nursing relationship, but I really only like nursing her first thing in the morning when we all lay in bed together.  

I think I am rambling a bit, but I am just feeling so frustrated and I don't know if it stems from wanting to wean, or if it stems from other discipline problems we are having.  So, when do you know it is time?

Also, DH has been 'encouraging' me to wean since 1 year, he is getting more fed up with it as time passes.

[lactatinggirl]

Do you try to avoid nursing besides the time that you like? DD is 24 months and a couple of months ago I was really HATING nighttime nursing, so I night weaned. Ever since I've been so much happier with our nursing relationship. 

I have no idea about how discipline could be effecting your nursing relationship because my DD is much younger. Beyond that though, keep in mind that WHO recommends that, beyond 2 years, you nurse as long as baby AND MOM want to. So many moms seem to have problems with feeling guilty about not wanting to nurse anymore, but if you're as much a part of this relationship as your DD1. You need to take your feelings into account. You could always try to cut back on nursing (offering other things and stuff like that) and see if it makes you happier? It doesn't have to be black and white. 

[Chloe'sMama]

Thanks for the response.

DD1 nightweaned when I was pregnant and that helped, but I think the majority of my feelings are because she is in a very whiney and demanding stage.  She WHINES about everything, but mostly about nursing.  I think she whines and cries for 'mama's milk' at least 10 times a day and I can't handle nursing that much.  She also whines about binky and treats and TV and anything we have put limits on.  I am comfortable nursing first thing in the AM, naptime and bedtime and if she needs it 1-2 other times a day, but she wants it ALL the time and DD2 is still so little that she needs more milk (she is not on any solids yet).  

I am resenting all of the nursing instead of it being a wonderful time for both of us.  I don't want to wean, but I want her to respect my boundaries about when to nurse.  She doesn't seem to accept my boundaries and screams and cries about it.

[lactatinggirl]

Have you tried distracting her with other activities? When we go out to a museum or park or something, DD almost never asks to nurse because she's so distracted.

[Chloe'sMama]

We went through the distraction phase, but in the past few months, she is very stubborn about not wanting anything as a replacement for whatever she is asking for (not just nursing, but EVERYTHING).  I do try and get out of the house more, since it doesn't seem to be as big of an issue, but I find it difficult to be out all the time with an infant and a 'feisty' almost 3 year old.  

Today was not so terrible, but we will see how the week goes.

[D_McG]

How long have you tried to be firm with limits? Both of mine within a week of having 100% non negotiable times for nursing adapted and the whining stopped. If you've tried that and it didn't work then I'd probably look into weaning. But I have a short fuse for the creepy crawlies