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how clean is your home...really?

post #1 of 39
Thread Starter 

I really try to keep a clean home, and at the least a picked up home. I just feel like I am failing. 4 days out of the week, I don't want to answer my door because I am embarrassed by the mess.

I feel like I already require a lot of my children in allowing me to do things that MUST be done (cooking, keeping kitchen clean and sink dish free), but I am so tired by bedtime that I can't do the rest of the chores. Waking up early is not an option because my youngest is still nursing that would wake up too if I wasn't in bed to keep her asleep.

 

What I'm wondering - do you keep your house clean, every day? Is it clean enough to have guests over unexpectedly daily?

 

please tell me I'm not alone.

post #2 of 39

a "clean house" is a relative term. 

 

and people have greatly reduced expectations for mothers of young children.

 

i have a fairly big house and no "help" with the kids or the cleaning. i am a lot more strict about the downstairs than i am about the upstairs. it's not perfect by any stretch. but i am fine with company coming over -- most people would just be downstairs. the few that come upstairs are closer friends, and i can live with them seeing more of a mess. 

 

i have 4 rooms downstairs, and 8 rooms upstairs. plus 3 bathrooms.

 

2 kids, age 4 and 1.5. they traipse things all over the house, and there are not enough minutes in the day or energy in my body to keep up with them and it, so i mostly focus on keeping the downstairs neat and clean, and i get to the upstairs in spurts, when i can.

post #3 of 39

Don't be too hard on yourself...you are still nursing a baby, that takes a huge amount of energy in itself, so give yourself a pat on the back for whatever you manage to achieve.

 

I agree that with young children, people won't expect your house to be anywhere near spotless, and if they do, they aren't worth knowing!! lol.gif

 

I still struggle to keep the house clean, and my kids are much older now (see my siggy), and I seem to remember that when my girls were little, cleaning definitely took a back seat to everything else. ;)

post #4 of 39

Oh, be prepared this is long....

 

I'd have to agree that : A "clean house" is a relative term.  It all depends on your idea of what clean is, and what your expectations are.  I also feel there is a big difference in how someones house appears if you just drop by vs if you've been invited to come over.

 

I have 3 kids and 1 on the way (6, 4, 2, and baby due in next month)  I also have a husband (who makes a mess) and 3 cats... If someone were to just drop by my house at any given point during the day they're most likely going to see toys on the floor, crumbs under my kitchen table, arts and crafts all over the dining room table, some dishes in the sink or on the stove, hair on the bathroom floor, and finger prints on things.  They're probably going to smell the cat box and see some cat hair around the house...lol... And that's just the downstairs not including the mess that the kids make upstairs in their rooms.  That's just part of being home and living life. 

 

I do sweep every day and do dishes multiple times a day.  I mop more than once a week, and dust about every week.  I wipe down the appliances a couple times a week, but soon after there's a new mess and little finger prints on things again. I also do 10+ loads of laundry a week and not every load gets put away as soon as they are out of the dryer.  So there is usually at least one laundry basket either on my floor or bed to be either washed/folded/ or put away.  I try to swish out the toilet a few times a week, and wipe it down.  But we only have one bathroom and unless I'm doing it multiple times a day it's not always going to look completely clean.  I clean the cat box a couple times a week, but some days it just smells more than others.  The kids pick up their toys in their rooms before bed, but I don't dust or sweep up there as much as I should.  There are some things that are just impossible to keep up with to have an immaculate home all the time.  Unless of course you aren't home all day to make any messes.  So if someone just dropped by I may feel a little self conscious about how the house looks depending on the time of day and how the day has been going.  But I know that my house is clean.  There are some days that I might get nothing done at all because I don't feel good, or I have a sick kid, or I'm just being lazy and the house will look like a total disaster.  Mind you I'm not nursing a little one yet.  My 3 are a little more self sufficient so I can get more things done.  I'm sure once the new one comes some of the cleaning will get pushed aside and my house will be a little messier.

 

I grew up in a very neat and clean household (it was only my mother and myself).  When I was a kid the first thing my mother would ask when I came home from a new friends house was how clean the house was....LOL  So I know that I naturally have very high expectations of how I feel peoples houses should look just because of the way I was brought up.  So if I invite someone over I feel that is a totally different situation!  I will make sure the floors are swept/mopped, counters and all tables are wiped clean and clutter is put away, the dishes are clean and put away (or at least hiding in the dishwasher), bathroom is clean, appliances are wiped down, and windows are finger print free, and lastly toys are picked up.  If I'm inviting someone into my house I want them to feel comfortable and not looking around at a mess.

 

I have been invited over other peoples houses and the house is a total disaster!  Situations where you don't know where to put your coat or bag down because you're afraid it's going to get stained or stick to something, or your shoes stick to the floor because there's spills that never got cleaned up and are now dried and sticky.  I've been invited to playdates for the older kids at peoples houses where it's obvious that the mess on the table is from dinner the night before and breakfast and it was never wiped up and now everyone is sitting around the table and you can't put your arms down because of the crumbs.  And it's clearly obvious that some things just never get cleaned.  There's been times that it's even to the point that I'm afraid to use the bathroom because there is just grime on everything. I feel it's a little disappointing and am a little shocked because these have been situations where I've been invited over not just stopped by.  If I just stopped by someones house unexpected (which I hardly ever do) I would never have any assumptions on how clean the house should be especially if they have small children.  I would also never judge someone if there was a mess when I'm the one who's stopping by unannounced.

 

I wouldn't worry about it.  You've got a lot going on still nursing a little one which takes a lot of time and energy!

post #5 of 39
I do dishes and counter tops daily.

Floors once week.

One major chore each day.... bathrooms, linens or cleaning out the fridge or something big that needs doing.

I do my laundry off and on during the weekend and each child puts away her own load.



Did I leave anything out? My system allows me to have folks in if they drop over and usually there's no scummy build up anywhere unless we've been sick. I do make the kids remove their stuff from the common areas each night before the bedtime rituals. I also will have them do a quick bathroom check and sofa tidy if we know someone is popping over.
post #6 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by JesKace View Post

Oh, be prepared this is long....

 


I have been invited over other peoples houses and the house is a total disaster!  Situations where you don't know where to put your coat or bag down because you're afraid it's going to get stained or stick to something, or your shoes stick to the floor because there's spills that never got cleaned up and are now dried and sticky.  I've been invited to playdates for the older kids at peoples houses where it's obvious that the mess on the table is from dinner the night before and breakfast and it was never wiped up and now everyone is sitting around the table and you can't put your arms down because of the crumbs.  And it's clearly obvious that some things just never get cleaned.  There's been times that it's even to the point that I'm afraid to use the bathroom because there is just grime on everything. I feel it's a little disappointing and am a little shocked because these have been situations where I've been invited over not just stopped by.

 Yes...One of my best friends has a house like this...I hated having to use the bathroom when invited over as I couldn't even sit on the toilet seat.  It does make me wonder why she doesn't clean up...but I still want her as a friend. I just accept that she has a problem with coping with cleaning....and she now finally gets a cleaner in, thank goodness!
 

 

post #7 of 39

my home is "clean" in the way that the things are wiped up the floors are tidy, swept/mopped/vaccumed. The bathroom are cleaned 1-2x a week, I do 2 loads of wash every day and yeah...lol. There might be the babies toys all over the stinking place but thats just clutter ya know? Plus it gets picked up 2x a day...so really its nothing big. I grew up in a home like a previous poster described about the filth. I will never live like that or much less allow my children to live like that. I want people to enjoy coming by and my children to enjoying having friends over. I literally never had a single friend over to my house as a child because I was so mortified by the mess.

I usually start the day upstairs, when we all wake up I throw a load of wash in the washing machine (its upstairs), make beds, change babies diaper and head downstairs. I make breakfast for all of us serve it, eat with the girls (we have an eat in kitchen) so when I am done I clean my place up, tidy up the br3eakfast making, unload the dishwasher and wipe all the counters down. By then the girls are done so I swiffer sweeper vac under their chairs and clean them and thier places and put dishes in dishwasher. We then go back upstairs and brush teeth get dressed, switch the laundry to the dryer and then add another load to the wash. at lunch it is the same routine for the kitchen this way its always clean and manageble.

Dd is 4.5 and has been taught to clean up after herself and does an amazing job of putting all her things away, she has a place for everything and does a fab job of putting it there when done with it! (thank goodness.) I have a certain set of toys that stay upstairs and a certain set that stays downstairs this way they never have to run around finding the pieces all over the house and it keeps the clutter uncluttered ya know?

I scrub the tubs at night right after I take the girls out while the water is draining, so simple. I will wash down the mirrors periodically throughout the week as well as the counters. I keep spray and wipes in the vanities so that this can be done the moment I think of it instead of having to round this stuff up ya know?

post #8 of 39
My house isn't "hoarders" dirty, but there are usually crumbs on the dining room floor (often kitchen, too) and frequently on the dining room tablecloth but I just got a crumb sweeper so that's getting better. Often there's a dish or two in the sink, but usually not 30 dishes in the sink. Usually there is countertop available, though we live in a house with limited counter space. I wipe down the toilet seat *all the time* because, it seems, two little kids using the potty all the time means it needs it! However, often the toilet bowl isn't perfect and there may be toothpaste scum in the sink (as much as that grosses me out, it happens) and toys on the living room floor. I clean the worst of it before I'm expecting someone over, but on a day to day basis, it's often like that unless I'm on a cleaning kick, which seems to happen about once a month (thanks to this forum!!). It's getting easier now that ds2 is getting bigger, so it's more and more likely that my house is reasonable, these days...
post #9 of 39

My house is rarely in such a state I would be embarrassed if someone stopped by unexpectedly. Laundry baskets full of clean laundry ready to be folded or full of dirty ready to be washed is pretty standard.  A dishwasher full of dirty dishes is pretty standard too. Mail piled up on the table and general household clutter is pretty normal too.  To me this is nothing to be embarrassed about. shrug.gif

 

That said the bathrooms a guest would use are always pretty clean since they are rarely used otherwise. I am a big cook so my kitchen is always spotless.  I clean as I go.  Nothing makes me crazier than having to clean before I can start cooking.

 

We never make our beds but what guest comes and checks out your bedrooms?  We don't mind it so who cares?

Dusting/vacuuming etc is done *maybe* once a week so if said guest showed up unexpectedly and walked around barefoot yeah that might be embarrassing! lol.gif

 

Oh and I am freak about "fluffing" the couch cushions/pillows, straightening the magazines/books on the coffee table, etc before I go to bed each night so our family room looks pretty good at the start of each day.

post #10 of 39

I am pretty much never comfortable with the state of my house when people are over, even after a big clean. I just see all the things that still need to be done & the dog hair buffalo the vacuum missed & the pile of magazines we still haven't sorted through, etc, etc. Part of it is setting standards that are too high for me to meet & part of it is not being in good habits overall.

 

The only time I was consistently content with the state of my house was when we had a maid 3 days a week! But we can't afford that here.

post #11 of 39

My house - bathrooms cleaned 2x week, dusted weekly, all bedding washed weekly, kitchen daily.  And so organized!  Labelled, clutter-free, sorted.  No crumbs, no smudges, no goo.  I'm a neat freak and a control freak.

 

Then I had kids.

 

Now...  I've just had to dial down my definition of clean and presentable.  I just don't care as much as I did when I had a lot less to worry about.

post #12 of 39

Normally, on an everyday basis usually my house is neat, not spotless but neat enough where Im not totally embarassed by someone stopping by. The neatness though ends at the end of the "common areas", if you were to peak into the bedrooms you would probably find an overfilled laundry basket, unmade beds, clean laundry laid out waiting to be put away, probably some diapers in a bag from the last night of diaper changes that I haven't thrown into the main trashcan yet.. I don't see these things as "bad" though, my house is lived in.. If you are nosy enough to look into my bedrooms prepare to see a little bit of a mess. If you don't like it don't look into my bedroom (who goes and snoops into other peoples rooms anyway? If the door is shut or even mostly shut its pretty obvious to me that its not suppose to be looked into).

 

Right now though Im moving so my house is a complete mess. Im praying every morning someone doesn't decide to stop by to say "hi" before we move because honestly Id be totally embarrassed. I have suitcases lined up in the living room, clothing piled on the chairs/couches, the movers came last week and I haven't cleaned up the mess they made etc. In 19 days anyone can stop by, just ignore the pad lock on the door, the fact no one is answering and just so they know Im no longer in the same country as them lol.gif.

 

Seriously, especially if you have children, if you house is neat enough to not have an overridding bug problem (having a small bug problem sometimes comes with the terriotory, I know I clean ALOT but we have bug issues because of the place we live), moldy fold all over the place, smelling like a garbage can etc then I don't think anyone should be embarrassed. If someone has a problem with your household cleanliness then they probably aren't worth wasting time on.

post #13 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by JesKace View Post

 

I have 3 kids and 1 on the way (6, 4, 2, and baby due in next month)  I also have a husband (who makes a mess) and 3 cats... If someone were to just drop by my house at any given point during the day they're most likely going to see toys on the floor, crumbs under my kitchen table, arts and crafts all over the dining room table, some dishes in the sink or on the stove, hair on the bathroom floor, and finger prints on things.  They're probably going to smell the cat box and see some cat hair around the house...lol... And that's just the downstairs not including the mess that the kids make upstairs in their rooms.  That's just part of being home and living life. 

 

I do sweep every day and do dishes multiple times a day.  I mop more than once a week, and dust about every week.  I wipe down the appliances a couple times a week, 

 

I read this first paragraph and thought, oh - her house sounds like our house, and we only have one kid, 2 cats and 2 dogs.

 

Then I read the second bit here, and I figure JesKace is like a super woman or something.

 

We spent ALL day, taxing our 3 year old's patience and cleaning cleaning cleaning and we're still not done. When I was nursing a baby and couldn't get up til he did - I NEVER mopped. Not once. Never even thought of it.

 

Open your doors to the world, mama, and whoever comes back for a second visit is probably worth the time.

post #14 of 39
My house is sanitary enough, but quite cluttered. The dining room table is buried. The mail /bills area is buried in junk mail. We set bill aside, but anything else gets dumped. My love seat is completely covered in laundry that needs to be folded and put away. There are toys on the floor. Donation boxes in the corner of the living room. There is an assortment of random stuff on my kitchen floor. Hair dryer, fridge farm magnets, the baby's cup, her sock, construction paper a few shopping bags that she pulled out. She's 18 months and a little tornado these days.

Right now, I need to wash some of the larger items. DH is supposed to be in charge of washing dishes, but he never washes the colander, large pots, the skillet, etc. I made a more involved dinner while he was home to keep the baby out of trouble. Then I had a dental appointment first thing this morning, so those are piled up, but he did run the dishwasher. I worry about the clutter. I am almost never ready for a drop-in. I wish I could just get over myself. Intellectually, I know what others have said is true, but I still just hate to welcome people in to a mess. I can see improvement though. I am getting rid of tons of stuff... baby stuff mostly, and that helps. I remember that things started to calm down and my routines were easier once my older dd was 2-2.5, so in another year, I should be in a better place. Right now, the LO keeps me hoppin'!
post #15 of 39

I have a little plaque in the entryway that says "Please excuse the mess.  We live here."

 

Our house is cleanish, meaning not filthy, not unhygenic, the important areas are kept up regularly (bathroom, kitchen), but it's not white-glove spotless because in 3 minutes it'd be "normal" again.

 

So for now, while our daughter is small (and her visiting friends are small, too) we live with "good enough" and maybe someday when she's in college :P we'll have a white carpet in the living room.   Nah, I'm too much of a klutz for that, would spill red wine the minute it was installed ;)

 

post #16 of 39

I've actually finally reached the point where, yes - my house is still quite clean and tidy.  We do still seem to have fingerprints on all the windows and glass, but that is about it.  My kids are 2 and 5 though and I've done A LOT of decluttering lately.  My 2 year old gets into anything and everything that is left out.  So everything has to be put away where he can't get to it.  I follow the Motivated Moms cleaning calendar and just pick up as I go along.  THe kids are responsible for helping too.  I've started them on a habit that they have to pick up before they go on to the next activity, and my 5 year old makes her bed every morning.  I usually allow tv for a little while after school, but that doesn't get turned on until all of the toys have been picked up and put away and my 5 yo's room is tidy.  I also have started doing dishes as they get dirty - it takes seconds to wash a pot right after you dirty it rather than leave a bunch of dishes to accumulate.  I also make sure the house is spotless when I go to bed.  Laundry folded and put away, dishes washed AND put away.  Now that I've started keeping things so tidy it takes so much less effort to keep it that way.  And DH likes how it looks so tidy and clean that he is much more willing to help keep it that way!

 

eta:  it helps that the kids go to bed around 7pm and it is now nearly 9 am and they are both still sleeping!  I've had a chance to do most of the chores on my MM lists and have quiet time at the computer without having to deal with the kids yet!

post #17 of 39

My house is clean-ish, not filthy or really dirty, but just clean-ish. With two kids under 3 years old, there will always be crumbs on the floor, smudges on the windows, and toys everywhere. The bathroom gets cleaned about once every 1-2 weeks, mostly depending on how dirty it gets (DD is potty trained, but doesn't wipe her butt completely sometimes, so when she slides off the toilet seat, we wipe that down ASAP), mostly while the kids are taking a bath. I'll clean the sink or mirror while they splash, and use the floor towel and my foot to clean the floor quickly. I have a Roomba and a Scooba (robots that vacuum and mop) and that has made all the difference in how clean my floors are. I think that my house would be a lot worse if I didn't have them. My kids love to chase the robots around! I turn one of them on and let the kids entertain themselves while I get some free time to go to the bathroom, clean more, or even gasp! take a shower!!!

Laundry is done daily, diapers are washed daily, floors are cleaned daily, and linens are done every week or so. My two fails are dusting and cat litter. I hate both with a passion. So my house has a lot of dust and the cat box isn't cleaned out as much as it should be.  

 

I've been loosely following Motivated Moms, FlyLady, and my own urges to clean. It's definitely helped that my children are more independent now and can entertain themselves for 10 minutes at a time. However, I feel like my life is narrowing down to cooking and cleaning. I spend so much time and effort keeping house that I feel like it's becoming my "worth". I mean, I've got three college degrees and here I am, folding laundry and washing dishes every day. I do have a life outside of the house and my kids, but it startles me sometimes that I've become a housewife....does anyone else know what I mean?

post #18 of 39

It depends on the day and whether DD is in school or not.

 

 

If shes home (Fri-Sunday and Mon-Thurs after 3pm) then usually there are toys all over the floor and crumbs from snacks. Sometimes, paper too.

 

When shes at school or gone to Nana's, it's clean (toys put away, floors vacuumed and swept, kitchen counters cleaned, bed made, dishes washed/put away, laundry washing/drying/put away, smells clean) because I clean when shes not here.

 

I wouldn't say it's a showcase clean home (it's small and I have stains on my carpet/3 kids/1 messy husband) but it's clean to me.

 

post #19 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by triana1326 View Post

My house is clean-ish, not filthy or really dirty, but just clean-ish. With two kids under 3 years old, there will always be crumbs on the floor, smudges on the windows, and toys everywhere. The bathroom gets cleaned about once every 1-2 weeks, mostly depending on how dirty it gets (DD is potty trained, but doesn't wipe her butt completely sometimes, so when she slides off the toilet seat, we wipe that down ASAP), mostly while the kids are taking a bath. I'll clean the sink or mirror while they splash, and use the floor towel and my foot to clean the floor quickly. I have a Roomba and a Scooba (robots that vacuum and mop) and that has made all the difference in how clean my floors are. I think that my house would be a lot worse if I didn't have them. My kids love to chase the robots around! I turn one of them on and let the kids entertain themselves while I get some free time to go to the bathroom, clean more, or even gasp! take a shower!!!

Laundry is done daily, diapers are washed daily, floors are cleaned daily, and linens are done every week or so. My two fails are dusting and cat litter. I hate both with a passion. So my house has a lot of dust and the cat box isn't cleaned out as much as it should be.  

 

I've been loosely following Motivated Moms, FlyLady, and my own urges to clean. It's definitely helped that my children are more independent now and can entertain themselves for 10 minutes at a time. However, I feel like my life is narrowing down to cooking and cleaning. I spend so much time and effort keeping house that I feel like it's becoming my "worth". I mean, I've got three college degrees and here I am, folding laundry and washing dishes every day. I do have a life outside of the house and my kids, but it startles me sometimes that I've become a housewife....does anyone else know what I mean?


I can completely relate to the bolded parts. I could have written those.

 

 

And I'd love to have a Roomba! I think my kids might kill it within 2 days though, lol

 

post #20 of 39


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LCBMAX View Post



 

I read this first paragraph and thought, oh - her house sounds like our house, and we only have one kid, 2 cats and 2 dogs.

 

Then I read the second bit here, and I figure JesKace is like a super woman or something.

 

We spent ALL day, taxing our 3 year old's patience and cleaning cleaning cleaning and we're still not done. When I was nursing a baby and couldn't get up til he did - I NEVER mopped. Not once. Never even thought of it.

 

Open your doors to the world, mama, and whoever comes back for a second visit is probably worth the time.


I love that. heartbeat.gif

 

 

 

 

FWIW, I prefer going to someones house and it being "lived in" or "dirty", whatever you wanna call it. It makes me more comfortable.

 

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