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The Whatever Ladies Graduate! - Page 9

post #161 of 407

It is way shorter than the others, but do you like Ian? I have always liked it but DH does not.

 

Yeah, Hardeeville isn't close, it is like near the SC/GA border I think. - but could be wrong. SC geography isn't my strong suit.

 

If all goes to plan, I will be in your neck of the woods around the 4th of July; DH's grandfather lives in Hubert and I like the fireworks on base. (that and since I grew up in the area it has nostalgic value for me too)

 

15 weeks today! the baby is moving a lot the last couple days (or rather I have been feeling a lot of movement) I am enjoying that. Did not enjoy DS waking up at 2 a.m. screaming his head off, and he was completely inconsolable. He finally was calm enough to lay in bed with me around 2:30 and asleep for sure by 3. Have no idea what upset him. He wasn't thirsty, or hungry or uncomfortable, though he did calm down more after I took of his pajamas even though he didn' seem excessively warm. It has happened once or twice before he is like that, and before I could usually eventually nurse him back to sleep. He didn't seem interested in the boobs last night though. I will be glad when he is more verbal and can tell me what is up.

 

 

post #162 of 407

Carrie: *hugs* The important thing to remember is that you are making the best choices for you and for the baby. If you end up not able to breastfeed, it has nothing to do with you not wanting what's best for him, or making excuses or anything, it is you listening to his best interests. There is no shame at all in that. If it made you feel better, perhaps you could pump and donate? There's always babes out there that could use the milk.

 

AFM: Had my dr appt Monday and I feel a lot better. I'm still cramping, but the "spotting" has stopped. I -think- the red spots, not the pink discharge might have actually been from the sensitive skin on the outside, not actually coming from inside. That skin there has been sensitive for year, it feels like it might have been slightly torn previously once before, so it would make sense that with the increased blood flow and decreased lubrication all over, it could be 'acting up' now.

 

Anyways, she didn't seem as optomistic about being able to acquire a midwife, which has me down, but she also didn't realize that they do homebirths here-- which is false. So I'm trying not to put too much stock into it. She said if I don't get a call from them within the next two weeks (I'm supposed to hear back by Saturday though), then to call back because she'll need to book my 20 week-ish ultrasound. I didn't realize they booked up that fast. Crazy.

 

The good news, is that she didn't want to come out and say it, but she prettttty much said she would take the baby on as a patient. Which is nice, because finding a doctor here is horrible, and I dread the thought of searching for a pediatrician. At least with my Dr. I know that she respects my decisions, and I feel ok saying no to something.

 

--Carrie I also meant to say I feel your frustration on the naming. In the beginnings of our relationship DH and I came up with two names that we loved... and then over the years they've faded and I'm not in love with them anymore. And then several years back, when we believe we had a very very early loss, we named that baby. And we both still love that name like nothing else. It's hard, because we've casually mentioned to each other the possibility of using it again in the future (before this pregnancy) but we struggle with it just feeling wrong. And yet, it's still the only one we agree on and love. But do you want to use a name you could feel guilty about? Ugh.

post #163 of 407

Carrie - while I am a firm believer in breastfeeding, I also am realist enough to know that for whatever reasons, it isn't always possible. If baby Logan is unable to breastfeed, then you will be ok. I will hope that you are able to though. Even if your DH is a carrier, do you still plan on giving it a shot? (just curious)

 

On a naming side note- I don't know if any of you have or watch the Bravo channel, but they had a new show last night about Rosie Pope called pregnant in heels. One of the rich couples wanted help naming their third child but first boy. They had Rosie put together a think tank, a focus group, and a dinner party to get their friends opinion, and even after all that, they chose for a first name the one all groups vetoed - Bowen - and as a middle name the most poplular of the groups  - Asher. So Bowen Asher. (I guess we should be grateful they didn't name him Bowen Arrow). The point is, while I think popular opinion can be considered, go with what you like.

 

JJ: That is a toughie, as the name you both love in a way feels like it belongs to an earlier child, it maybe just wouldn't feel like it "belonged" to this baby. I am sure you will find a name that you both love. Thank goodness you have some time to think about it! (FWIW I like having the baby's name as early as possible, I think it helps with bonding - for me at least)

post #164 of 407
Carrie hug2.gif Just think of it this way until you know for sure: even if DH is a carrier, there is still a 75% chance your baby WON'T be galactosemic right? I hope you are able to nurse, but if you are not, remember that you will still be a great mother!

It is a beautiful day here today! We walked to storytime and Target. No wind, nice enough to be out with just long sleeves...and now the windows are open! I'm in heaven! joy.gif
post #165 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

Carrie - while I am a firm believer in breastfeeding, I also am realist enough to know that for whatever reasons, it isn't always possible. If baby Logan is unable to breastfeed, then you will be ok. I will hope that you are able to though. Even if your DH is a carrier, do you still plan on giving it a shot? (just curious)


Of course!  We'll have genetic testing done on the baby after the birth (or we could choose to do an amnio...not sure how I feel about that, if this really warrants the risk) but of course.  Baby can breastfeed if he is just a carrier.  If he has the Duarte variant of galactosemia and not classic (which is most likely the case b/c that's what Nora has) then he can still bf.  So yes!  As long as we have a shot we will take it 110%!!

 

And if DH is a carrier we'll have to find out the baby's status before trying.  Unfortunately with this disorder, if they have it, breastmilk can really be harmful.  Fatal even.  Isn't that crazy?  I'd never even HEARD of this condition before DD.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post

Carrie hug2.gif Just think of it this way until you know for sure: even if DH is a carrier, there is still a 75% chance your baby WON'T be galactosemic right? I hope you are able to nurse, but if you are not, remember that you will still be a great mother!


Yes you're right.  You're absolutely right. And thank you.  There really is only a 25% chance he'll have this and even if he does we might be able to bf at least part of the time.  I need to breathe!!  I really need to realize how serious this ISN'T before I get myself worked up.  As far as genetic disorders go, this isn't the worst.  Just one of those really tough parenting things.

 

I went thru so much guilt and worked through so much with DD over this that I think a lot of those emotions are coming back up.  

 

Ok, sidenote -- went outlet shopping today with my MIL and scored bigtime!!  Got tons of clothes for the new baby and for Nora.  It was a great day and totally took my mind off everything.  I needed it!!

 

post #166 of 407
Thread Starter 
Carrie ~ I think everyone addressed everything for you so I just want to say I agree with all of it. Either way, you'll still be a great mom and have a beautiful relationship with this baby. It is good to look at it from the other end, only a 25% chance that baby will have this and that is only if your dh is also a carrier, right? What are the chances that he is?

I like the name Ian but I think it's too close to Ethan. I also like Evan but have the same problem. We'd probably constantly trip over our tongues trying to say one or the other. Half the time I call one of the boys the name of one of the other's as it is. lol.gif Oh, and how bad is this? Sometimes I call Kellen Kevin, which is my ds1's dad's name. I don't think I've ever done it in front of my dh, thank goodness.

When I named ds1 I had only known one person with his name. It was not a popular name in my generation. The first time I took him to the pediatrician, the nurse came out and called his name and something like 4 or 5 of us stood up. There was almost always at least one other boy in his class with the same name. It became very popular. So, yeah, there's really no way to determine if a name will be popular or not for babies now. I'm definitely not into trendy names. I think a lot of those trendy names have come from celebrities. Personally, I think it's really sad that someone would name their child just because it's the name of a famous person or his/her child. Gets back to the human worship that I just don't get. I think Jaden is so popular now because that's Will Smith's son's name, right? From The Karate Kid. If you really like the name because you like it, that's great. But if you are using only because it's associated with celebrity, that's just sad. KWIM?

So, obviously, I have internet access here. I didn't think I would. I hope we don't drive all the old people crazy. My boys have been literally bouncing off the walls. Most of the people here use walkers or are in some kind of wheelchair so I'm worried about the boys accidentally hurting someone. I don't know if we can take a week here. Aaaah!!!!
post #167 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

Carrie ~ I think everyone addressed everything for you so I just want to say I agree with all of it. Either way, you'll still be a great mom and have a beautiful relationship with this baby. It is good to look at it from the other end, only a 25% chance that baby will have this and that is only if your dh is also a carrier, right? What are the chances that he is?

 

Crap.
Double checked my results, and I'm a carrier of classic galactosemia. Nora is a carrier for Duartes. Which means Chris is either a duarte/normal or duarte/classic. There is no chance he isn't a carrier of duarte's! Oh my word. I hope we get lucky again. If he is duarte/classic -- there's a chance this baby could be full blown classic too and that's the worst possible outcome. 
So. Still need to wait for his result, but now the ante is upped a bit.

 

I know this is a lot of jargon and what not but I"m just processing.  It's a lot to deal with.  

post #168 of 407

Carrie if I remember my biology right, does that mean a 50% chance of being a carrier for Duarte's? and if one is classic/Duartes (not sure if that is an option, because I hadn't heard of the condition before either) what does that mean for the baby? and is there a chance you and Chris both pass a normal gene to baby Logan? that gives you 1/8 of no carrier at all. I think.  at any rate, it looks like there will be a whole range of possibilities. I am not normally a fan of amnio, but if there is a chance the baby could have full blown Duarte's and they could verify that with amnio, I think I would consider it. It gives you some time to prepare and come to terms with the outcome.

 

MW: yay for internet! after I suggested Ian, I got thinking that sound wise it is Ethan with out the -th- in the middle. No matter what you name your children, occasionally you will get mixed up. My grandma barb did all the time with her sons - Tim, Tom, and Ted. (my dad is Ted, the youngest. how often do you think he got called by his actual name?)

 

There are always Finn and Quinn (right now they are characters on Glee, but Glee won't last forever) Dylan means son of the sea, that is a nice meaning. it is Welsh. Tristan means Tumult in Welsh. I love names!

 

Baby is moving more strongly now, and I love it! I am so looking foward to when DH and DS can share in that.

post #169 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

Carrie if I remember my biology right, does that mean a 50% chance of being a carrier for Duarte's? and if one is classic/Duartes (not sure if that is an option, because I hadn't heard of the condition before either) what does that mean for the baby? and is there a chance you and Chris both pass a normal gene to baby Logan? 


I spent a few minutes making punnet squares, lol, and this is what I came up with. 

 

IF Chris is only a carrier for Duartes (D/N) then there is a greater chance baby will just be a carrier.  He could also get two normal genes and be perfectly fine.  So 50% chance just a carrier, 25% chance normal. 25% he'll have Duartes Galactosemia.  Nora, for example, is D/N.  She is just a carrier and is healthy, normal, no medications, and no dietary restrictions.

 

IF Chris has one Classic and one Duartes (C/D) then baby could inherit one C from me and one D from him, and he will have Duartes Galactosemia.  BUT, worse than that, he could inherit the C from Chris and the C from me and end up completely full blown Classic - and that's the incredibly scary troublesome one.  (Or, on the plus side, he could still inherit one N from me and only be a carrier -- so 50% chance of being JUST a carrier.)

 

The thing is, if Chris has one Classic and one Duartes - HE would have Duarte's Galactosemia, which seems odd.  We don't actually think he *has* this disorder.  So the chances are small of this scenario.  But maybe he does have it?  People with Duartes have enzyme activity, and would explain a lot of his issues with dairy growing up.  We just don't know.

 

I think the only scenario that would warrant an amnio is if Chris also has the Classic gene.  We would need to know before the birth (or at least right away after birth) if baby has full Classic.  That's a huge deal because breastmilk would be dangerous and we'd have to start soy formula from birth. greensad.gif

 

I'm sorry to hijack our thread with this, but I know you girls the best and just feel like you all hear me and get how serious this could be.

 

I have to say, though, knowing this ahead of time is a blessing.  When Nora was 8 days old and the world fell apart, I was devastated.  At least this time, I get to plan for formula feeding and grieve the loss of nursing BEFORE having a hungry newborn in my arms.  

 

And -- of course I'm still in love with this baby and I know worst case scenario, he's going to be an awesome little boy.  It's just I worry for him if he has Classic.  It would be a bit of a struggle for him growing up with diet.  Though, he would fit right in to our vegan lifestyle for sure!  

 

And I'm still trying to come up with a name.  I think Logan can be his in utero nickname or something.  When we were outlet shopping yesterday, there was a baby Logan in a stroller at Carters and it really, really irked me.  I think it would be too annoying to me, regardless of how much I like the name, to have THAT MANY other babies/kids with the same name.  I might be being small minded about this, but whatever.  This is probably my last baby and I want his name to be as awesome as he is!!

 

post #170 of 407

Baby_Cakes: So sorry you are having to go through all this stress! I'm not a big fan of amnios but I think in this case that is something that I would want to know ahead of time so that I could mentally prepare if I wasn't able to nurse and also physically prepare so I didn't make my baby sick. And I totally get your hesitance with the name Logan. That's been my big issue with the name Ava. I have seen or heard it quite a bit on TV, in magazines, etc. although it doesn't seem to be that popular in my town. But it just seems like her name so that's probably what we'll go with.

 

Funny story about a dream I had the other night. For the past few weeks, since we had the second ultrasound, I've said out loud to my stomach "What is your name baby?" in a singsong, joking voice because we were having such a hard time deciding on a name. So the other night I dreamed that I had the baby and then when we brought her home, someone came to visit and asked me what her name was and I couldn't remember what we had written on the birth certificate! So I kept saying to the baby over and over again "What is your name baby? WHAT IS YOUR NAME?" lol.gif

post #171 of 407

Whatever name you choose will be awesome! Do you have any rules for names - like syllables or letters you like or don't like?

 

Re: the genetics, if you waited until the baby is born to find out, how long does the testing take? I would think you would not be able to nurse until you knew for sure. in which case you would just have to pump regularly to maintain supply until you knew, and are you up for that?

 

It is amazing the things you forget from one pregnancy to the next; have any of you ladies had your sore boobs diminish? and when did that happen? Mine only seem to get more tender. I think with DS the soreness/tenderness faded at some point but I don't remember when.

post #172 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

Baby_Cakes: So sorry you are having to go through all this stress! I'm not a big fan of amnios but I think in this case that is something that I would want to know ahead of time so that I could mentally prepare if I wasn't able to nurse and also physically prepare so I didn't make my baby sick. And I totally get your hesitance with the name Logan. That's been my big issue with the name Ava. I have seen or heard it quite a bit on TV, in magazines, etc. although it doesn't seem to be that popular in my town. But it just seems like her name so that's probably what we'll go with.

 

Funny story about a dream I had the other night. For the past few weeks, since we had the second ultrasound, I've said out loud to my stomach "What is your name baby?" in a singsong, joking voice because we were having such a hard time deciding on a name. So the other night I dreamed that I had the baby and then when we brought her home, someone came to visit and asked me what her name was and I couldn't remember what we had written on the birth certificate! So I kept saying to the baby over and over again "What is your name baby? WHAT IS YOUR NAME?" lol.gif


Thanks, Annie!  And, FWIW, I really like Ava.  I think it's much more classy than "trendy".  I feel like ppl will think I just jumped on the trendy -an bandwagon if I go with Logan.

And LMAO at that dream!  Such a typical preggo dream, for real!  Ha!

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

Whatever name you choose will be awesome! Do you have any rules for names - like syllables or letters you like or don't like?

 

Re: the genetics, if you waited until the baby is born to find out, how long does the testing take? I would think you would not be able to nurse until you knew for sure. in which case you would just have to pump regularly to maintain supply until you knew, and are you up for that?

 

It is amazing the things you forget from one pregnancy to the next; have any of you ladies had your sore boobs diminish? and when did that happen? Mine only seem to get more tender. I think with DS the soreness/tenderness faded at some point but I don't remember when.



Thanks hon!  I know.  The only rules I guess is that we want to use Dax as a middle name -- so preferably nothing that starts with D and it should have more than one syllable.  Other than that, I'm open.  Oh -- and duh -- nothing trendy or popular.  Haha!

 

I'm not sure how long testing would take after the birth.  It could be 24 hours, or it could be longer, like a week.  We would have to talk to a genetic counselor and get real information about how the test should be done and what to do with the sample.  I think that if Chris comes back as a D/N, we'll wait til after the birth.  If he comes back D/C, we'll have to think seriously about an amnio.

 

Hmm, my sore bbs lasted at least the whole first tri, if not into the 2nd.  Then they just started getting heavy and big, and sensitive.  They definitely don't ache anymore like they did in the beginning.

post #173 of 407

What about Oliver Dax? I did nymbler off of your DD's name and Oliver was one of the suggestions.

post #174 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

What about Oliver Dax? I did nymbler off of your DD's name and Oliver was one of the suggestions.



LOVE Oliver.  DH vetoed it. eyesroll.gif  He also vetoed Gideon, and my 2nd favorite Lincoln, which I think I'm still going to keep on the list anyway.  After all, *I'm* the one pushing this baby out, right? 

post #175 of 407

Also a huge fan of Oliver. I won't even say it to DH because I know he'll veto. But we have a niece named Olivia as well, so I suppose it would be anyways.

 

 

I need all your reassuring stories ladies. At work last night about halfway through my shift, I felt a bit of discharge and went to the bathroom, and there was a significant amount of brown blood/CF in my underwear, and then when I wiped. It was definately mixed with CF, it had that kind of slippery feel, but there was just... more of it than I'd ever want to see. I spotted brown sparsely for maybe an hour after that, and then It seems to have stopped now, it's been about 13 hours. But now I can't stpo my mind racing, and I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I know in my head that it's very likely it meant nothing, and that brown blood is better than pink and red, but I'm still nervous. There were no clots, no red at all, it was just creamy brown, like at the very end of AF.

 

I did take a walk yesterday with the puppy, but it was really only a ten minute walk, I'm out of shape, but not that out of shape... DH and I dtd on Monday I think, so it had been two days. I think my cervix moves a bit too, which worries me. It was very very much pressed up against the front, and when I checked last night, it seems to have moved back a little bit.

 

I took a test at around 11am when I got up to go to the bathroom from my sleep, and the test line showed up dark pink before the control line did... I've never seen that. My boobs are still very sore too. There's no cramping with the discharge... so I'm trying to lean on that as a good thing too.  I'm 6 weeks.. today I guess officially, going by ovulation date.

 

I'm trying to be positive, but my stomach isjust knots. I was planning on sleeping, seeing if it stopped and then calling my dr, but when I realized what time it is, I'm sure she's gone home for the day. And I mean really, the only thing she could do would be send me for an ultrasound... which won't save a baby... it could just make it worse seeing it on the screen. I'm on self imposed bed rest, but I have to go back to work tonight. ugh.

 

I'm a wreck guys. And the logical, doula side of me knows that most of the points about it are positive, and good signs, but the mama side of me just thinks, i'm not ready to lose this baby.

post #176 of 407

Hugs, JJ.  Of course you're not "ready" to lose the baby!  No one would be!!  I think you just need to hear it's going to be ok.  It's really honestly going to be ok.  Rest.  Relax.  Nap.  Have a hot cup of tea or take a bath or a shower.  Stop thinking too much and then overthinking it again.  So, so many women spot and bleed and go on to have normal healthy pregnancies and babies, and brown blood is old blood. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs! 

post #177 of 407

How are you doing, JJ?  I'm really hoping no response isn't a bad thing, and that you're just working. greensad.gif  Keep us posted.  

 

 

post #178 of 407

JJ: more hugs! brown blood is old blood as Carrie said. If need be, see if you can get an emergency appt; peace of mind is priceless. 

 

Carrie you could always do Nick; Nick and Nora seems a classic combo for names. :) I think almost any name sounds cooler with Dax as a middle name. Nicholas Dax . . .anyway. Nicholas has always been on our short list for boy names, but more often as a middle name. My only issue is its length for spelling.

 

Happy Friday!

post #179 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post





LOVE Oliver.  DH vetoed it. eyesroll.gif  He also vetoed Gideon, and my 2nd favorite Lincoln, which I think I'm still going to keep on the list anyway.  After all, *I'm* the one pushing this baby out, right? 


I like Oliver too, and my DH vetoed it too. Meh.

JJ hug2.gif That early part of pregnancy can be SO nerve-racking. I hope everything is ok. It really sounds like it probably is, TBH. I've spotted like that a couple times in both pregnancies.

I made myself some cloth pads last night! Go me! lol.gif I totally suck at sewing so they are all oddly shaped and funny looking, but you know, I think they should work. I've been pretty much wearing a pad every day to deal with the copious discharge redface.gif (TMI but we ARE the whatever ladies) and the leaking when I cough...although that hasn't happened for a while, go Kegels! So it will be nice to have some more to put in the rotation, and for afterwards!

One month until I can have my homebirth! I am a little worried about going into labor too early but that's probably irrational. But anyway, I gave myself the date of Mother's Day. On or after Mother's Day, I'll call my midwife when I go into labor. Before Mother's Day, I'll head to the hospital. That'll be 36.5 weeks. thumb.gif
post #180 of 407

Hugs JJ. I had bright red bleeding with this pregnancy at 5w2d and was convinced it was over. I had to wait a week for a second ultrasound because it was a little too early to see anything on the first one. But a week later, there was her little heartbeat! Take it easy and update us when you can.

 

BFS: I wish I was crafty. I definitely need to wear a pad every day now due to the discharge. I swear between the colostrum and the cervical/vaginal discharge, I feel like I'm leaking all the time! It will only get worse before it gets better, huh?

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