I need some help/support

[MommatoGray]

Hi!

This is my first post, I have been on here reading so many posts and all of you are so great I knew this was just the place I needed to come for help.

My DS is three months old, he is my first baby. Before I had him I had made up my mind not to vaccinate, but then at 2 weeks he got RSV and we found ourselves in the emergency room a few time. He did recover well, lots of cuddles and BF. So I guess now I am a bit unsure of what I want to do because that was so scary. It was just hard seeing him poked and prodded by all those doctors.

We have not done any vaccinations yet, and I feel like I am making the right choice. Even if I decide to do some I want to make sure that I am 100% happy with whatever choice that I make. So that means more research.

I guess what I need help with is finding my sanity!! Honestly before I had DS I was a completely rational person, reasonable and didn't worry too much. Well now I am finding that I don't want to go out, I don't want people to visit all because I am scared of DS getting sick, I don't know what is wrong with me.

I was a nanny before I had him, I nannied triplets, these triplets are coming over for a visit tommorow. The family wants to meet DS, honestly I feel sick about it. I am so worried he will contract something. I am constantly thinking about Hib specifically, cause that is the one vaccine I am still unsure about.

DH wants to go visit his great grandma and I won't even do that because I am terrified that she will give him something. This worry and craziness is taking over, I just want to enjoy my new baby and not worry so much. How did you not vaccinate, delay vaccinating or selectivel vaccinate and then stop worrying about it? I appreciate any advice, I feel sad and overwhelmed that I am unable to deal with this. I want to be strong in my decison, I was throughout my pregnancy and my labor. I refused any and all drugs at the hospital and didn't let them cut the cord till it was done pulsing, never let them put that stuff in his eyes, etc. I knew exactely what I wanted - why don't I know now??

Thanks : )

[Ldavis24]

Umm, well I guess if I was you and I was so paranoid about him getting sick I would just get him vaccinated.

I mean, we only did the first round of vaxes and then I said no more, I still worry about it a little bit but I also just keep an eye on info, like if there is measles in the area, or possibly pertussis. It's not like I am rearranging my days because I am paranoid about DD catching some disease they have vaxes for, there is a lot of stuff she is more likely to catch that there isn't a vaccine for.

[SilverMoon010]

I remember feeling that way at first.  I think it comes with the territory of being a first-time parent, especially with a baby, and especially with the fear the media tries to strike on us at every chance they can.   It does get easier as they get older and your fear will lessen.  Just keep reinforcing and reeducating yourself as to why you're choosing not to vaccinate, reread and research your material every once in a while, and work on building your DS's immune system in every way you can without vaccines since vaccines take a toll on the immune system. 

Unless you know of someone being ill, I wouldn't worry about letting people visit.  If someone mentioned they didn't feel too well, I wouldn't let them come over.  I always made people wash their hands before they held my child, too. Just all the basics.  You really can't avoid people; however, you can avoid large, strange crowds.  We never really took our child to large events like that when he was an infant.  

The thing to remember is that getting vaccinations does not mean you are protected, as children have contacted the very disease they were vaccinated against.  That's just one out of the multitude of factors that reinforces my decision to not vaccinate.  I'm always revisiting data on vaccines, and I always come to the same conclusion of not vaccinating.  There are so many horrendous toxins in them. I couldn't imagine having them injected into his tiny body.

Don't worry, you'll reach a point where you feel much more comfortable about it.

[seasiren]

I never worried about anything until my DS was born. I get it totally. Here is the thing.. When my son was 4 months old I read the highest likelyhood of sids are in boys who are four months old during the winter. OMG! DS was born in November, he was 4 month old in early Feb.

Let me just tell you, my son is now 17 months, the worry gets easier and it comes in waves. So honestly you need to work on your worry. If you feel in your heart that you don't want to vaccinate you shouldn't at least not yet. we haven't vaccinated because I am more concerned about the potential side effects than the disease.  But try your best to relax and enjoy him, if you vaccinate he still can get illnesses, its not 100%.

You may have some post partum issues too with your head spinning like it is, maybe step away for a few hours get a massage or some acupuncture and relax. Take some me time.

[ma2two]

Not vaccinating is making you go crazy with worry, but it is the best thing for him. So I hope you disregard the advice to just vaccinate in order to make yourself feel better.

The best thing you can be doing for him right now is breastfeeding, and that is also very protective against Hib. Other things you can do for your baby's health is taking vitamin D which goes through breast milk, and giving him infant probiotics.

Vaccines cover only a very small percentage of illnesses. So if you're just worried about illnesses for which there are vaccines, that's not very logical.

What you did for him during pregnancy and labor, and avoiding vaccines, and breastfeeding is allowing his immune system to work as it should. Your baby is safer than most.

[amnesiac]

It sounds like the whole RSV ordeal was a really frightening experience that has caused you to question your vax decision. I don't think it's a bad thing to question and re-evaluate. I think I might start from the beginning & define exactly why it is you don't want to vax to begin with. Feeling really comfortable with that foundation is a good way to start feeling confident in your choices. I also agree with the pp who said that it's necessary to understand that vaccines only cover a tiny portion of transmissible diseases so I'm not certain that vaxing would totally eliminate your fear, YKWIM?

[Marnica]

I totally get where you are coming from. All I can say is vaccinating out of fear is just as bad as not vaccinating out of fear. You must continue to do and review your research and ask yourself why you came to that conclusion to not vaccinate in the first place.

My DS is almost 3. He is unvaxed and started daycare at 3 months old. He has been sick quite a bit in his life (not with any VPD's) and Ive discovered that has alot to do with underlying food sensitivities and allergies. My point is kids get sick for different reasons and vaccinating is not a guarantee of health. Im sure your RSV experience was scary but if your child was vaccinated on schedule this would have no effect on is he gets sick with things like RSV and a million other non VPD's. What I do is concentrate on building his immune system and not interfereing with it and tackling the underlying issues which for my DS is allergies. I can sometimes let the fear get the better of me, but I just go back and re-evaluate my choice and always seem to come to the same place.

[MommatoGray]

Thank you all so much for your responses. I have been trying to calm down, and now that the snow is slowing down (we are in western Canada) we have been out taking walks and getting out a bit. That has also helped, I think being couped up and researching for hours is making my head spin. And its crazy but I had forgotten the simple point that vaccines are not 100% effective. Thank you for reminding me of this : ) I really appreciate it, I don't really have a big support system regarding these matters. Only friends that think i am a babywearing, non-vaxing, uncircumcising hippy mom!!

Also to ma2two, what type of probiotics do you give? I went to the health food store today and a really helpful lady gave me sisu brand kids probiotics. It says no dairy, gluten, etc. But it also says that they are for kids 1yrs -5 yrs. She said they would still be fine to use for my three month old. Do you have any opinion on this. Here is the link to what I purchased:

 http://www.sisu.com/sisu/products/product.jsp?category=1002&sub=1003&id=227

Thanks again!!

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by MommatoGray 

Thank you all so much for your responses. I have been trying to calm down, and now that the snow is slowing down (we are in western Canada) we have been out taking walks and getting out a bit. That has also helped, I think being couped up and researching for hours is making my head spin. And its crazy but I had forgotten the simple point that vaccines are not 100% effective. Thank you for reminding me of this : ) I really appreciate it, I don't really have a big support system regarding these matters. Only friends that think i am a babywearing, non-vaxing, uncircumcising hippy mom!!

Also to ma2two, what type of probiotics do you give? I went to the health food store today and a really helpful lady gave me sisu brand kids probiotics. It says no dairy, gluten, etc. But it also says that they are for kids 1yrs -5 yrs. She said they would still be fine to use for my three month old. Do you have any opinion on this. Here is the link to what I purchased:

 http://www.sisu.com/sisu/products/product.jsp?category=1002&sub=1003&id=227

Thanks again!!

If I may chime in about the probiotics. There are MANY probiotics are the market today, lots of them are poor quality. The important thing to remember about probiotics is CFU count (colony forming units) and the types of strains included in the formula. I took a look at the stuff you bought and while it would be safe to give to your 3 month old, I don't think it is a high quality product. The CFU count is not very high and there are only 2 strains of beneficial bacteria included. There are also several different fillers (tapioca starch, maltodextrin, magnesium stearate). The last 2 I would definitely avoid giving to an infant. If you were to use this brand I would call and ask if their fillers are derived from GMO sources. If they can't answer No I would stay away from this like a 10 foot pole but that's just me. Here is what I used when my son was an infant. very high CFU count and 10 important strains of bacteria.

http://www.klaire.com/prod/proddetail.asp?id=K-TIF

I did a lot of research on probiotics and this company is known for it's high quality products. If you order directly from them you need to have a practitioner of some kind open an account for you. I had our ND do this. all it is is a phone call. If you have nobody to do this, it is also sold through other vendors. I believe you can get it on Amazon.com and other retailers. You could do a google search.
 

[MommatoGray]

Thanks for all the help, the little guy and I appreciate it!! I should be able to get even more sorted out when I see a ped NP in a month : )