My vagina feels weird now.

[MommyofHero]

I am almost 6 weeks PP with my second vaginal birth and my vagina seems to be in just terrible shape.
A few weeks ago I felt a little bit of a bulge in the vaginal opening and freaked out, thinking it was some kind of organ prolapse, and saw my midwife immediately. So she checked me out and said that there is no indication of organ prolapse, and that the vagina looked fine. Fine?? My vagina is far from fine. It feels like it has collapsed. The walls seems saggy and mis-shapen. There are bulges everywhere in there. Is this common? I feel rather devastated.

The birth of my son 6 weeks ago was amazingly perfect. It was an unplanned UC. It lasted 45 minutes from start to finish. It was completely painless and easy, and I was relaxed the whole time. I didn't even have to push-- he slid down the birth canal in one contraction and the whole things actually felt...good.

I contributed the easy birthing to all the yoga, meditation, massage, diet, and the daily Kegels I did throughout the pregnancy. But do you think a fast birth like that can weaken the vagina so much? My first birth was 9 hours altogether, with lots of unnecessary pushing, and my vagina certainly didn't feel like this afterwards. I remember it felt normal about 6 weeks later, when I had sex again.

My midwife suggested that I go to a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic health if I feel this concerned. So she referred one to me, but the lady charges $200 an hour! I'm not sure when I will be able to afford to see her.

Is there anything else I can do, besides Kegels, to get my vagina back into shape? Has anyone else experienced this? Does it get better with time, or is she permanently this way? Thank you ladies....

[scottishmommy]

Yes! I had the worlds ugliest vagina after dd was born. The thing is that your vagina goes through a lot when you have a baby. I mean a lot! It's not gonna snap right back in place . It will get a lot better with time. Since your birth was so quick, the skin and muscles stretched super fast, and may have been damaged. That doesn't mean they won't heal, it just means they are injured for the time being. I suggest you don't look at it anymore for a while, and look at your new baby instead. In the mean time there a few things you can try. I would check out a blog called www.katysays.com. She's a biomechanist and has some great insight into how our bodies work. Read what she has to say about deep squats (I believe the article is called "don't know squat"). The thing is that kegels only help so much. What you need to do is develop the muscles around your pelvic floor, so that they all support each other. I love her blog. She's very funny and reassuring. You can also check out "ending female pain", "the mummy tummy book" and a video called "hab it". You should head over to the pelvic organ prolapse support group in the healing birth trauma section. Even if you don't have POP there are a lot of ideas on that thread.
Seriously, try not to worry about this. I can tell you that I was so depressed about my vagina after I gave birth. I was even jealous of my friends who had c-sections for breech babies! Crazy huh? The thing is that our vaginas are here for sex and passing babies. They don't have to be beautiful for those two things to happen! And trust me, even though mine went through the wringer and looked rather beat up for a while, sex feels just the same if not better. DH has no idea what I was so freaked out about! I hope yup feel better soon, and congrats on your new baby!

[MommyofHero]

scottishmommy, your comment has really helped me. :) since i read it, i made a decision to stop mentally obsessing over this and focus on my babies instead, which is exactly where my emotional energy should be directed toward anyway at this time. thanks for the resources and the encouragement! i really appreciate it.

[scottishmommy]

I hope you feel better! I totally know how you feel. I feel like our culture is so afraid of vaginas that we simply aren't honest with each other about the changes that occur after childbirth. I mean nobody seems surprised that their breasts sag a little, or the or hips get wider, or that their tummies slacken. We women need to be more honest about our poor vaginas so that we don't feel like freaks after we give birth!imagine if you didn't know what stretch marks or hemorrhoids were? You would probably think that you had some horrible skin disease or something. Trust me, there are millions of postpartum women out there who are very upset about the way their vaginas look and feel. (((((HUGS)))))

[MommyofHero]

YES! Well said. It's amazing how much better I feel about myself after changing my attitude about the situation. I actually found myself "thanking" my vagina for doing such a kick-ass job during birth, instead of being upset at it for not looking perfect. hehe

[Midwife Scottie]

What a great comment scottishmommy! Just to reinforce what she said it is very normal! What you felt bulging is probably what is called a cystocele and they are very normal (up to a point). The bad news is that you will experience this after every vaginal birth and if you don't take care of your vagina in-between it will get worse. The good news is that all those resources that scottishmommy gave you will help you get your vagina back. It is about more than kegels though those are important (and make sure you are doing them right). The physical therapist is a great resource- maybe she would give you a break on price or refer you to a cheaper one in the area. Keep focusing on your new baby! I promise you will get something like your old vagina back in time!

[Chamsia]

You guys are awesome.  I just came here to look for help for my prolapse.  I'm 10 months pp with my second babe.  Both were over 8 pounds.  After the first my bladder was a bit prolapsed.  This time it is hanging out of my vag looking like a crowning babe, and my gyn says my uterus is falling too.  Yikes!!!

Will check out everything suggested above.  Many thanks and best wishes all!!!

[kcparker]

The other thing to remember is that your hormone levels are different if you are nursing, and your vaginal walls may be thinner than when you are not nursing or pregnant. Some of the sensation of bulging might simply be that nerves that are normally more buffered by tissue are closer to the surface, so the walls feel closer together than what your mental body map is accustomed to perceiving as 'normal.' Nothing is set forever down there, especially not at 6 weeks pp.