How do I Deal with no Nap?!

[quantumleap]

DD is 2yrs and 3 mos, and I think she's ready to give up the afternoon nap. She's pretty intense, very focused and quite sure of what she wants. I have a 3 month old as well and honestly nap time keeps me going. I NEED a break from her during the day. I can't seem to nap myself during this time, but I need that little break to regroup! I need some time to sit and read a book, or throw dinner prep together, or hang out here for a few minutes. Lately, ds has been awake during dd's naptime, which is sort of nice too, to get some one on one time with him. So, I need some tips and ideas for how I can cope with the lack of break/nap, especially because she's a bit of a bear without the nap!

She will not have an independent quiet time, so I guess I'm looking for ideas beyond that. She'll sit and have me read to her quite happily for awhile, which means I get to sit, but doesn't really do it for me in terms of a "break".

How have you managed? Any ideas to ease the transition for dd too?

Thanks.

[colleentara]

I'm wondering the same thing! I have 2 3/4 yr old and a 3 month old. How do you know when they're ready to give up the nap? I've been putting him in bed every day, but for the past week he's probably only fallen asleep about 25% of the time. I can't imagine that he's ready to give it up b/c he's so overtired when he doesn't nap. How could he possibly be ready? I'm definitely not ready!

He is actually fine to have quiet time in there by himself. I can hear him playing quietly with the cars that he takes to bed. I guess this is okay(?) I'm just want him to get enough sleep, but of course I can't make him sleep. He sleeps fine at night.

Sorry that I don't have advice--only more questions. Will your DD go down for a quiet time? At least that could give you a little bit of alone time...or one on one time with the baby. I know exactly how you feel!

[hakeber]

It was at about 18 mos that DS started with this and looks like DD is ready to drop her afternoon nap now too.  Luckily it has meant going from 7-9 hours of sleep to 12-14 hours of sleep at night so I got a break at night.

However, one of the things we did with DS was we started introducing toys that required, or encouraged deep focus and quiet play.  DS had these pop up tunnels and huts and we would set it up in the garden and in each play hut we had a different activity, a baby pool with yogurt cups, a bunch of stacking toys in another, finger paints in another...and I would pop him in the maze, and rest in the hammock reading or marking papers while he climbed through the maze giggling and playing. He also got his first set of wooden train tracks at about 2.5 and he is still obessessed with making tracks and cities with blocks and tracks.  Even at that age he would sit playing with trains in his rooms for two or more hours.

We also sometimes made use of DVDs at that age. I know that's not popular here, but I understand the need to for a quiet rest from toddlerhood in the middle of the day and an episode or two of Backyardigans would keep him happily engaged while I just did something simple like check my e-mail, or have a cup of coffee in peace. 

[sundaya]

I lost my (um, DD's) naptime at around 18 months. It was a rough couple of weeks, with a cranky toddler, but we got through and got much more/better sleep at night, and in fact, I think she was sleeping more over-all without her nap. What I did to ease the transition for her was that, at first, she went to bed REALLY early. Like 5:30-6ish. I just watched her for her level of tiredness, and tried not to go too far beyond. And, then started backing up a bit later as we were able. We eventually settled on a 7:30 bedtime- it had been something like 9:00 before that, and she would sleep until 8 or so in the morning. She also started sleeping a 6-8 hour stretch, where prior to that she would wake every 2-3 hours, and taking much much less time to get to sleep at night. The other thing we did to ease the transition was that from about 4:00 on, when she would start getting tired, we'd do something really fun and distracting- go to the park, play outside actively, even just dance around the living room.

For me....she will play with puzzles or read books to her stuffed animals for a short period of time, or drum on pots and pans while I cook. And sometimes now (she's 2 years, 3 months) she wants to help with the meal prep, so she will pull a chair up to the counter and help me. And yes, a DVD from time to time has saved my sanity, on those ultra-clingy days.

Good luck!
 

[quantumleap]

Originally Posted by colleentara 

I'm wondering the same thing! I have 2 3/4 yr old and a 3 month old. How do you know when they're ready to give up the nap? I've been putting him in bed every day, but for the past week he's probably only fallen asleep about 25% of the time. I can't imagine that he's ready to give it up b/c he's so overtired when he doesn't nap. How could he possibly be ready? I'm definitely not ready!

He is actually fine to have quiet time in there by himself. I can hear him playing quietly with the cars that he takes to bed. I guess this is okay(?) I'm just want him to get enough sleep, but of course I can't make him sleep. He sleeps fine at night.

Sorry that I don't have advice--only more questions. Will your DD go down for a quiet time? At least that could give you a little bit of alone time...or one on one time with the baby. I know exactly how you feel!

I think DD is ready to pass on the nap because she's taking an increasingly longer time to GO to sleep, both for her nap and at night. She used to conk out pretty easily by 7h30, but we find ourselves still fighting with her until 8h30 or 9, or later these days. Once I fight her down for a nap, she'll sleep for an hour or two, but then we pay at night. I'm hoping the afternoon cranky will pass as she adjusts to the lack of nap. Hoping.

Thanks for the involved work ideas, mamas. There's got to be something I can adapt to our situation - I love the tunnel/maze idea! We have a tunnel, but no tents involved. And our backyard is literally 3 square meters with no fences. BUT, I'm sure there's a way... I'll have to see if I can borrow a train set to see if that might keep her going for a bit. She's not very good at independent play though - she requires fairly consistent involvement from someone else. If I set her up and leave her, she pretty quickly follows me to wherever I am (bathroom, etc). She'll stay interested in the activity as long as I hang out with her. She's gotten a lot better, but is nowhere near being amused by something without my input for longer than about 5minutes (10 on a good day!).

It occured to me that we could just go for a walk in the afternoon. We have a great all-weather double stroller. I can get some exercise, she can have a "quiet" time in there with a book and a few toys. Now, I just need to get the mp3 player working again, and find some interesting podcasts or audio books to give me the mental break I'm looking for. I'm trying to convince myself this will be as nice as eating lunch without a little person climbing all over me and reading a book or watching a tv show online. Ha. Also trying to puzzle out a way to change up the current evening routing a bit so that instead of making, serving and cleaning up dinner and then jumping into bedtime routines with both kids, I can maybe leave the house for a bit when DP gets home.

In any case, keep the ideas coming!

Thanks