How do your toddlers talk about the differences they see in people?

[peaceful_mama]

My other kids never really did this, but my 2 year old DS2 does...

for example, on our DVR we have this episode of Jack's Big Music Show that he loves.  There are two song clips in the video.

One is sung by a group of Af-Am men, the other is a white woman.  DS2 has labeled the first one "The Daddy song" and the 2nd "The Mommy song"--it's been there for *months* that's something he came up with at like 18 months old.

The other thing is when he sees people dressed in obviously Islamic clothes on TV, in real life, whatever   "Salaam alaikum!  Dat salaam alaikum!" 

I love hearing him...and yes, I give the adult spin on it but it's adorable to hear his interpretations.

[singin'intherain]

My 4yo dss has a black dad and a white mom, too. He always says black men are "black like daddy", but he claims that he is NOT black. He's mixed! Which makes sense for him, because his dad is Cameroonian, so he's "all black". I don't think he realizes that most American blacks are mixed like him! His grandparents and uncles, too, are Muslim, and all very traditional. His grandma sits in the back seat of cars and walks four paces behind her husband, always keeps her head covered. If he sees someone in hijab, he tells me the woman is from the mosque. I've never heard my step kids repeat Arabic or Hausa words- that would be so cute to hear salaam alaikum from a two year old!

[joates]

Do you think his mother instills this in him?  I know many people tend to do this because they do want the child to know and understand both sides of himself, but many people don't realize how "mixed" black people in America really are. The complexity of race in America probably hasn't affected him yet, so in his mind, he is mixed, but if things continue as they are, he might see things differently as he gets older. 

[singin'intherain]

I'm not sure if his mom has anything to do with it- he's four, and she has only seen him three times in the last two years. I think he made it up on his own, not understanding that most black people are mixed. Most of the black people he knows are "all black". He's fascinated with Hip Hop and Rap (I have scrounged for kid friendly hip hop music) and I notice that he wants to watch shows/movies about black men over and over- so he obviously identifies himself as a future black man! But still, no one can tell him he's black- he insists that he not. Maybe part of it is the area where we live- the kids all seem highly oblivious to racial issues, because there is no overt racism in their world. My daughter doesn't even know to use the term black. If she is describing a black kid physically, she mentions their "black" features in the same terms as their other characteristics. She'll say, "This girl is big, she has dark skin, and she wears lots of braids". I like that race doesn't have a place in her thinking, but it's also odd, like how can anyone have missed the whole race thing?

[singin'intherain]

Oh, Joates, I don't think you were talking to me!