HB Moms Who Had To Transfer, Will You HB Again?

[kr mom]

my baby is 10 months old and while I am not expecting again just yet, I am already giving  a lot thought to whether or not I will try and hb again. The hospital, other than typical annoying hospital things like paperwork, not a moments peace to rest, etc, was actually a blessing in my case. It was the hb part that was traumatic and left me feeling very doubtful, nervous and unsure of whether or not I should try a hb for my next baby. Just wanted to get other mom's who've had to transport and or maybe had not so "peachy" or dreamy of a homebirth and see what your feelings towards it all were after having gone through this experience. Will you or did you hb again? How was it and what helped you make a decision on whether or not to attempt it again? Thanks so very much for your time and help. 

[morganlefay]

My situation is a bit different from yours, but I still struggled with the decision to homebirth again.  I transferred with DD at 9 cm because there was meconium when my water broke, and my midwife wasn't there to assess the risk to the baby (my contractions were unusually far apart and she refused to believe I was in labor even after I had called her four times). So we had to transfer and i was always left wondering whether it was necessary (though of course the safety of DD was my top priority).  None of the experience was traumatic, and DD came out perfect, but it was disappointing that i didn't get the hb I had prepared for, and I felt pretty let down by the midwife I had placed so much trust in.  I am 32 weeks with #2 and planning another homebirth (different midwife).  I'm still nervous that something will go wrong and we will have to transfer, but i have decided that even if something does happen it is still worth it to me to try for the experience--this is something I really want.  And, chances are, nothing will go wrong and I will get my homebirth!

[phantesi]

I had a homebirth with DD.  I transferred after her birth because of a pretty severe postpartum hemorrhage.  Dh panicked and called 911, though my midwife felt I was stable.  I am not sure any midwife would take me on for a homebirth after the hemorrhage, and DH would never in a million years go for it, so if/when I have another it will unfortunately be in a hospital.

[octanebeetle27]

We transferred due to my water breaking 64 hours previously and me being highly colonized with GBS. I walked for miles, did the breast pump until I thought my nipples would fall off, took horrible herbs, but could not stay in a decent labor pattern. Without the concern of the broken bag of waters, it would have just been a pain in the butt prodromal labor pattern (which I had experienced with my previous birth). I would have rested, and just let nature take its course. Instead, I was consumed with trying to get labor going and monitoring the baby and myself for signs of infection and/or stress. It was EXHAUSTING ( I was up all night for 3 nights either monitoring or dealing with start again, stop again contractions). Finally, we decided to go to the hospital because we (mw, me, dh) felt like we were pressing our luck. Baby was fine. I had no fever. But we didn't want to show up at the hospital with a sick mom and/or a baby in distress. I had my mw check me before we left our house (knew I was going to get at least a few internals at the hospital anyway) and I was a pathetic 3-4 cm dilated. We even waited to see if the exam would trigger contractions. BUt nothing! So we went. And dang it, if labor did not start up in a powerful way on the WAY to the hospital!  By the time we got to the hospital and I was checked (about 1.5 hours later), I was at a 7! I wanted to sneak out and go back home. The contractions were pounding. My baby was born about 5 hours after we got to the hospital. And I was thoroughly reminded of why I prefer homebirth. The hospital staff was not the nicest. I can't say I was treated badly but certainly with thinly veiled hostility. So, yes, this time around we will be trying for another HB. But we will have a plan for the hospital, too, just in case of a transfer. I figured if I ended up in the hospital I would be getting a c-section (2nd child was a c/s). So we didn't bother to plan for labor in the hospital, just a c-s. Lesson learned.

Anyway, that is just my experience. I can totally understand not wanting to try a hb again b/c you are afraid of having to transfer again. I thought about it myself. Thought maybe it would be easier to just start out planning for a hospital birth. Not risk the disappointment and hassle of trasferring at the last minute. Personally, I know if I don't try for another hb then I will be disappointed. I'll end up going to the hospital and giving birth 15 mins after we get there or something! And I'll kick myself knowing that I would have been much more comfortable at home. I'm not anti-hospital--for the most part, my experience with 3 hospital births has been mostly positive. But my hb was so different and really quite wonderful and ALL positive. However, if we have to transfer again I'll be more prepared. Those are my thoughts. Good luck with what you choose. It's not an easy decision!

[jules33]

I didn't have to transfer, but I had a less than dreamy HB experience.  My water broke a few hours before labor and when labor started it was HARD and crazy right away.  I had hardly any time between X's, just enough to catch my breath and go again.  This went on for 15 hours, plus two hours of pushing, then a retained placenta.  My MWs were on top of everything, one of them manually removed the placenta (worse than the birth) and they monitored me for infection.  The one who did my stitches somehow sewed some inner tissue onto the outside, which caused excruciating pain for 6 months, which I thought was normal because it was my first child.  Finally had it cauterized by a CNM and it's fine now.  Then, my son dropped weight rapidly and despite stupid efforts that most intelligent women would not have attempted, I was unable to breastfeed him.  Needless to say, I was left feeling incredibly inadequate, like a weak, pitiful failure, for some time.  My son is now 17 months, healthy, happy, and taking my breath away every day.  In hindsight I can see that these things just happened, it wasn't my fault, or my home's fault, or my midwives faults.  I'll definitely try a HB again (with someone else stitching me!!), but it took me a really long time to get to this place.  If you decide to have a hospital birth, you're not a failure, just like you're not a failure if you attempt a HB and have to transfer.  Things happen, we can't fight nature.  When the time comes, you'll make the best decision for you and your family.  Good luck :)

-J

[Engineering_Mama]

I transferred to the hospital during my daughter's birth. We're going to start TTC again in the next few months and I'm definitely planning another homebirth. Having said that, my homebirth wasn't traumatic at all and I'm fairly certain if I'd started off in the hospital DD would have been born by cesarean. As it was I'm very, very lucky that my midwife's back-up OB was already at the hospital for a birth and accepted me as a transfer. I had pushed at home for two hours before we transferred for poor heart tones. I pushed for another 5.5 hours in the hospital. It's very rare to be allowed that much time in the hospital. I do think coming in as a homebirth transfer signalled to everyone at the hospital that I was committed to having a vaginal birth, and I think that helped. While the birth itself in the hossy wasn't bad, I would really rather not have to fight to take my child home the next day. I would much, much rather have been at home resting that fighting with the pediatrician and lactation consultant, and putting up with the constant interruptions while I was trying to figure out nursing and bond with my child.

OP - Only you can decide if another homebirth is right for you. What made your first homebirth traumatic? Do you think the same thing will happen again? What could you do to prevent it from happening? You don't need to answer those questions here if you don't want to, but hopefully they'll help you clarify how YOU feel about homebirthing again.

[lunarlady]

I have had 2 HB. With the second I transferred to the hospital due to a retained placenta and severe PPH. It was a 911 ambulance transfer and I did nearly lose my life from bleeding to death. I, as well as my family, were traumatized by the birth.

I, too, am struggling with the idea of another HB. My mother recently said that if I had another I should do it in the hospital due to the high chance of repeat PPH. I said I probably would and she said no, not probably, definitely. Then she asked if HB was worth risking my life, and of course I said no. So obviously if I choose to HB again, I would deal with serious and very loving push back from my family. DH was so traumatized by the birth that he currently says no more kids at all, birth is too dangerous.

Right now I think that if I have another child, I will be birthing in the hospital. I know this would mean fighting for some things I want, like freedom to move during labor, but i also know that the comforts of medical technology near at hand may be a necessity in my case. It would be a major shift for me and my family to make, as we are usually anti medicine, anti intervention, and hippy/crunchy/alternative. But I really don't ever want to put my family through another birth like my last one, and so HB might be out. If I did it again, I would go with a very, very experienced MW who would go with me to the hospital as my doula at the first hint of any sort of problem.

[Comtessa]

I transferred for exhaustion during my first birth.  It was not an emergency transfer, and so went pretty smoothly.  I didn't quite hate the hospital as much as I thought I would, but pretty darn close.  This time around, though, we're planning a hospital birth.  Mostly because DH was pretty traumatized by trying to support me and my wishes through the transfer -- feeling out of his element and exhausted, too.  He'd rather feel like he's "settled" in the place where I'm going to be delivering, and after the last one he won't feel that way about our home no matter what.  Things have changed a bit though since DD was born -- we have better insurance, which means I have access to a really good holistic birthing center at a local hospital with an excellent midwife, which was not an option the last time.  Also, our HB MW has moved away, which means we would have to do a whole other series of interviews with other MW's in the area, and frankly, I don't think DH will be happy with any of them. 

While I would still prefer to have a HB, and I'm sad about losing the opportunity to try for one this time, I'm finding that I don't particularly mind about the hospital birth plan this time.  For one thing, I trust my MW and her practice, so I know I won't have to do battle in the hospital the way I did the last time.  For another thing, this hospital has a stellar reputation for supporting NCB.  And there's part of me that feels relieved that I'm not doing so much work this time to prepare for the birth.  I remember spending hours and hours in my last weeks of pregnancy cleaning the house obsessively, collecting old towels and sheets, writing up complicated birth plans... now some of that, I'm sure, was first-baby obsessive-compulsive stuff, and some of it was normal nesting, but I think a lot of it had to do with the home birth.  This time, I feel quite comfortable with the idea of packing a small bag and just having it by the door. 

I feel like I should say, for the record, that planning a HB with my first was the best decision I ever made.  Having a HB MW around to answer all my questions, give me lots of advice re: diet and exercise and self-care and emotional/psychological issues and optimal fetal positioning and... etc... was invaluable.  Having her support at our VERY long labor/birth was critical.  I never could have ended up with a successful vaginal birth without all of that support.  I am totally on board with the people who say, plan your first at home, THEN plan a hospital birth if you feel like it!  I don't mind the less-personal, more medical approach this time, because I feel like I don't need as much hand-holding.  But I truly needed it my first time around!

[carrieb26]

I did transfer with my first, for prolonged labor/failure to progress, and concern about exhaustion. That was after 20 hours early labor and 36 hours of active labor at home. Went on to labor for another 8 or so hours at hospital including 2.5 hours pushing.

I feel fortunate that our transfer went as well as it did.  Not a lot of hostility, even though we had no prior contact with the hospital before the morning we transferred.  There were some interventions that we had hoped to avoid, but the major ones I was concerned about didn't happen, and the staff respected our wishes as best they could while addressing the needs for transfer (pit augmentation and IV abx for indications of infection). Our midwives stuck with us through the whole thing which was pleasant, even though they were not legal in the state at the time.

I did HB again, but went with a different midwife.  I just didn't have confidence with the first two, since I transferred, even though 4 years later, I think they did what they knew to do to encourage progression.  It was a mental struggle pretty much the entire pregnancy, because I was concerned that my body couldn't do it without help, just like the first time.

I'm planning a third HB, probably with the midwife from my second birth, although I have some reservations about her, too.

I think since my transfer was non-urgent, and my midwives were supportive through the transfer, and the staff at the hospital were relatively friendly, it made it easier for me to decide to HB again.

I believe that the particular experience one has with a HB transfer makes all the difference about whether one is willing to attempt HB again.

Carrie

[JosieAK]

I've come a long way to say this, but I really didn't have a traumatic birth (planned HB, hosptial transfer after 36 hour w/ broken waters for 24, and meconium, only at 5 cm, etc.).  LABOR was traumatic and painful and I think fighting that pain (dispite Bradley training) was part of my problem.  I had a relatively good experience at home and a relatively good experience at the hosptial (after my epidural, I went from 5-10 cm in an hour!  The power of complete relaxation!).  But as soon as I delivered vaginally (and partly forgot my screams of "the next one is going to be adopted!" a few hours before), I was thankful that I could try for another homebirth with my midwife.  Everyone assures me that the next birth will be different; my body will know what to do and things should be dramatically faster.  But I too feel thankful that the majority of my labor was at home.  I would have been a prime candidate for a C-section once they had "tried everything" hours before. 

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Hospital transfer for DC #1, never considered for a second not having a second homebirth.  The way I see it, planned homebirth with the option to transfer for either an emergency or non-emergency is a great choice.