Dear mother in law.

[bcblondie]

In case you didn't get the memo, allergies are serious. When we come over and I put the container of mixed nuts away and out of reach, that doesn't mean take a handful of them, mid visit, and then procede to give my son a kiss before he leaves. I don't appreciate your lack of concern. I don't appreciate my son waking up just after being put to bed, crying becuase his eyes and face are itchy and swollen. I don't appreciate having to debate whether to use our very expensive epi pen, all because you thought "meh, allergies, whatever." I don't appreciate having to put my son down twice in a night. Once is hard enough. And I don't appreciate the lack of apology either. So next time maybe, we just won't come over.

Kthxbai.

End rant.

[MsFortune]

Wow, wow, wow.  I normally advise people to try to just ignore their inlaws misdeeds, but this...  I'd be pissed.

I'd probably send her an e-mail with what you posted above.  

Grr.  Not cool, MIL!

[FAmom]

As bad as in-laws can be, what is most important is that your DH is on the same page as you.  His parents, right?

My sympathies to you.  We've been there.  And, what made the situation better for us was that DH and I both agreed that if his parents want to visit the kids, they come to us.  Our house, our rules.  They don't babysit our kids.  If they want to go someplace with the kids, DH goes with them.  

My in-laws aren't horrible people.  They love the kids.  There are many in-laws, family members, friends, who behave similarly, to varying degrees.

DH and I have weathered the disappointments and frustrations though by being on the same page .... even when it came to his parents.  

It is still hard to have to deal with these behaviors and attitudes when it is coming from family.  People who should be kind of "safe" (for lack of a better term).  And it is hurtful that you have to worry that what they do could end up hurting your child, their own grandchild.  

Hang in there though.

[mbbinsc]

My mother-in-law lives a days drive away, which is a good thing.  She loves her grandchildren but just can't seem to understand that things like cheese puff do in fact contain dairy and should not be eaten in our house. 

I am so sorry that your DS had a reaction.  I agree that you and DH need to be together on steps to keep your DS safe.  The next exposure may be worse.