Baby's Gender - Will you find out?? - Page 2

[Gracecody]

I am having a 20 wk u/s because I have had a great deal of 2nd tri bleeding and my midwife suspects partial/marginal previa so we have to take a good look at where the placenta is, also I am of "advanced maternal age" (ugh) and would like to have the anatomy scan for peace of mind.

Anyway, we have found out with all of ours and plan to this time as well. It really helps me develop a more personal relationship with the baby in utero, not to mention it helps with some of the practical matters, such as what colors of yarn to choose for the newborn garments I'm knitting. ;) I'm not a huge fan of yellow and green...since I already have a boy and girl I have all the clothes we need but I have never gotten to knit for a newborn before and am excited to make some garments just for him/her.

[L J]

We will find out - my u/s is April 11. I can't wait to see the baby and start calling him or her by name - I'm really struggling with this pregnancy not quite feeling real and not feeling like I'm going to get a live baby at the end. I'm hoping knowing the sex will help me attach and bond a little bit. We did find out with both of the boys, but we went to an entertainment place for them. This time its a real full body scan. I'm too high risk this time to even consider not doing it - I am allowing a lot more this pregnancy for my own sanity.

[jaclyn7]

It's interesting how many MDC Mamas in this group are finding out.  To answer your questions:

No, we won't be finding out the sex of this little one.  We'll be finding out at the delivery again, which was amazing last time. For me at least, it was a surprise while not a surprise - in that moment, I felt like I always knew (I had an inkling all along it was a boy) and knew him. In terms of planning, being a parent is all about surprises and we hoped to have a least one more, so for a variety of reasons, I would have never bought anything that I wouldn't want to use for either sex so supposedly gender neutral items and the like were what we were going with regardles :)

To each his or her own, but for our family I feel like if we were supposed to know that I would have some outside physical manifestation of the child's sex and I think it's kind of interesting in the span of 15 years or so, we've totally changed the way people have become parents.  I hope I don't offend, because like I said ultimately, it is a personal decision, but I do think that many Bioethicists have raised some very valid (or at least interesting points if you're not of the same mindset) about finding out.  

[vtechmom]

I didn't find out with my first two and I loved the surprise.  I will be finding out this time though.  I've basically been a single parent since ex-h and I split pretty much right after DD was born so I haven't had to consult anyone about parenting choices.  Now new DH and I are having our first together and her REALLY wants to find out.  I figure this is a good beginning topic to work on my ability to compromise again, lol.

I actually have recently concluded that I really don't care what the sex is anyway but I am curious to see if I bond more knowing it ahead of time.  I've never felt like one of those women who get a super deep bond with the baby while it is still in the womb.  I do bond the second the child is born but not particularly before that.  I'm kinda viewing it as a fun experiment :)

[ValH]

I love reading everyone's view on finding out v. not finding out. 

As for this week, I'm still leaning towards NOT finding out.  Not sure where DH's head is at right now.  We still have three weeks to decide.  I just feel like there are so few true surprises in the world, why not let this be a surprise?  Neither of us care if it's a boy or a girl, and we would be thrilled either way.  And we've finally made headway on a list of names for either gender, so I don't feel like "picking names" is a good excuse anymore.  I already have a gender-neutral nursery picked out, so that doesn't matter either.  I've been wavering on this, though, so we'll see what the next three weeks hold.

[Ayame87]

Since this is my Husbands first child, and my second child, he said he DEFINITELY wants to know.  His whole side of the family does too, it's their first gandbaby!! So they are dying to know, they tell me all the time, "I can't wait to go shopping!!"  Haha.. I'm pretty impatient.  I didn't find out with my first till almost 30 weeks.  This time I'll be just under 20 weeks.  April 14th is my u/s :)  I am hoping for a girl too... but I'm so excited for either! Must know.

[JessiFish]

Well, I found out. I'm not sure how I feel about knowing... We're not telling anyone so there won't be any of that excitement. I just started really feeling definite movements and DH can feel it, too, so that's a lot more exciting.

Plus the tech just blurted it out, didn't even ask if we wanted to know, so it was a little anti-climactic.

I did go through all of DD's old clothes and that was fun.

[isalu]

I  won't find out for the 3rd time. Like another poster, I guessed wrong with my first two (girls), but when they were born, I had the sensation of "of course she's a girl!" and felt like I knew her all along. My sister is just dying to know what I'm having this time and I half-jokingly considered letting her attend the US with me and let the technician tell her privately, but I think that would drive me crazy.

My reasons for not finding out:

1. I don't want to develop any preconceived notions about this baby based solely on gender. Especially having 2 girls, I feel like I would make too many unfair guesses about personality if I knew the sex now. Basically, I think it's more natural to get to know your child through actual experience with them instead of a boilerplate "boy" or "girl" image.

2. My husband does NOT want to know - he loves the surprise, so if I found out, I'd have to keep it a secret for him and that's just too stressful.

[channelofpeace]

We did not find out with our first, which was a pretty exciting surprise. We found out with my next three pregnancies, and also found out with this one last week. My second and third pregnancies were high risk, due to blood incompatibility, my fourth had the potential to be (although she ended up being negative) as does this one (we have an amnio in a week to determine if the baby has the one or both of the antigens I am making antibodies for).  With the blood incompatibility there is the potential that the baby will need an in utero transfusion (or several) or that we will need to deliver the baby early.  It has been good to know the sex so I can name the baby, form a bond with him and feel like I really "know" him if we need to take such a complicated journey before I ever get to meet him on the outside.

[AllisonRH]

Well, I just had my 2nd trimester scan this morning and didn't find out. I asked the u/s tech not to tell me before we started and she said "You must always tell the technician before they begin if you don't want to know". Then she angled the screen more away from me so I would really have to strain to take a peak while she did the full anatomy scan. She told me to relax and nap lol. Yeah right. Then when she called my mom in (DH is out of town today and couldn't make it) she turned the screen back to us so I could see easily and made sure to avoid any areas that would give it away. It was great - to me, seeing the little profile of the face, the spine, the little hands and the heart beating is what's really important.

DH would like it to be a boy and he would like to know, but he knows that I really want this to be a surprise - it's our first and maybe for future ones we'll find out, but not this one.

I love the concept of using that surprise as motivation during labour - I hadn't thought of that either. I also really like the idea of having DH announce it to me instead of one of the midwives.

[ValH]

Here's an interesting concept someone mentioned to me about NOT finding out.  If you do not find out, you are less likely to get outfits and cute clothes as gifts, and more likely to get actually useful baby items.  I don't know if this is true or not since I'm a first-timer... just a thought. 

[scsigrl]

Originally Posted by ValH 

Here's an interesting concept someone mentioned to me about NOT finding out.  If you do not find out, you are less likely to get outfits and cute clothes as gifts, and more likely to get actually useful baby items.  I don't know if this is true or not since I'm a first-timer... just a thought. 

It's an interesting thought but people still manage to blow lots of cash on useless things for babies! lol  I am still fighting this with family at the holidays/birthdays!  hehehe

[aslayton8]

My daughter was a surprise, however I found out with this one yesterday..it's a boy! I feel really guilty because I actually kind of wanted another girl and I felt sort of disappointed. I wish I hadn't found out. At the moment of birth it doesn't matter what gender they are, they are just so wonderful. Although now I have a few months to get ready for a son..I've just never been around little boys much so it makes me more nervous. I would have another surprise next time.

[ValH]

I think DH and I have decided to have the U/S tech and/or doctor to write down the gender and seal it in an envelope. Then IF we decide to find out, we can do it on our own terms whenever we want.  No pressure to decide by a certain date (which is less than two weeks away - can't wait to see my little one!).