Wow, I'm so sorry to read all of these horrible things people have experienced with both men and women in their lives! To the more recent poster, all I can say is that the majority of men I've encountered in my life have NOT been abusive, sexist or mean. I hope for your children's sake that you can begin to surround yourself with more positive men because they ARE out there!
To the OP, I have to say that my personal experiences in the world have been different. I had the exact opposite worry when I found out I was having a boy and I am scared that I could now possibly be pregnant with another boy and will never get to raise a daughter!
I have been a high school teacher for quite a few years now and have worked with ALL different learning levels, from Special Ed to Advanced Placement. I have to say that the experience I have had was actually the complete opposite from your mental picture. Things have changed a lot in terms of education and gender, even since I was in school, and I'm in my late 20's. The top 10% at our school is actually mostly girls. Most of the girls go on to college, while many of the boys recently have chosen other paths. Our GED and at risk program are made up of 90% boys and almost all of the kids who drop out are boys. And a very large percentage of boys who graduate with poor grades tend to enter into, you guessed it, the military! I have watched countless boys who, within months of turning 18, have been shipped off to war. Talk about a scary thought for a mom!!
At our school, the lower level classes are also mostly boys, and many of them have the potential to do better, but are more interested in showing off and being "bad." It is actually very sad and disheartening to see what has happened to the boys. It seems like those who are cut from the sports teams, but aren't straight A students tend to choose the path of partying, skipping school and drugs. (FWIW, I'm not teaching in a bad school district...this is actually the heart of suberbia!)
My husband, in an attempt to "show off" in front of his friends, ended up in a very serious accident and in a coma in high school. He always talks about coming home with black eyes and bloody noses from fights he got into with other guys in grade school. That kind of thing terrifies me when it comes to boys!
I also come from a family where my sister and I are VERY close with our mom, and our brother is actually kind of distant. I constantly have to text him with things like, "It's mom's birthday...CALL HER!!!" Or "Mom is worried because you haven't called her back in days, please CALL HER!!" While I would feel so weird if I went even one day without talking to her! My husband and his brothers are the same way with their mom (I have to remind him to call her on Mother's Day, etc).
Now believe me, I know what you mean about protecting girls from the media, etc. My sister and I have both struggled with eating disorders and I still feel crappy when I see women dancing around looking perfect in music videos. But men get that, too nowadays. For every girl you see at the gym trying to achieve the perfect figure on the eliptical machine, there's a guy standing in front of the mirror obsessing about how his abs are flabby and his biceps are puny.
OK sorry my post has gone off on several tangents, but I just wanted to say that there are two sides to the coin here. Anyone can struggle in this world. It's a cruel place for everyone at times, and the most we can do is be there for our kids and teach them the skills to deal when the bad stuff happens.