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got a letter from cps, now what? - Page 2

post #21 of 244
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

Literally I called CPS (DCF here) and reported a possible molestation and they WOULD NOT check it out. (even had a thread going about it) They told me I needed more proof or have had to have witnessed the molestation but they are harassing you about having an all natural UC?! Ugh!!!



Yes, I've had this happen too - twice.  Once they didn't even talk to the child in question, even though she was very open about what happened and was even talking to neighbors about the incident.  But child sexual abuse is almost impossible to prove because there is no physical evidence.  There is the word of a child against the word of an adult, and no witnesses or physical marks.  It's pretty clear cut - kids lie a lot just to get attention or because an adult planted a false memory into their impressionable little minds, and real sexual abuse doesn't actually exist.  I don't believe this, but the legal system enforces this idea.

 

I don't think CPS is trying to "harrass" the OP about a UC.  But this is the type of case where there may be tangible evidence of neglect, or measurable evidence of appropriate medical care.  It is a more objective investigation for them, they can collect information that is not based on hearsay or a child's testimony.  It may also be easily closed if they find what they are looking for.

 

post #22 of 244

I second the get a lawyer suggestion. What TumbleBumbles says may be true in the letter of the law, but they KNOW the local law enforcement and judges. They CAN make your life a living hell if they so choose. Been there, done that. We went the way she suggests and it was BAD. Course we were in a SMALL town and they work a little different. :)

 

Now, every worker/office will be different. That's what makes it hard to give advice online like this. A good lawyer is your best bet. They know exactly what CPS can and can't do and how to counter the 'legal' but uncalled for actions that may be used by CPS. I would say most of the time, it's no big deal, they aren't out to get people, but there are those few! I know, I'm paranoid, but I've been through the wringer with these people before over nothing more than a personal grudge by a new worker.

post #23 of 244
Did you have prenatal care? Was there any emergency plan in place? If so, have the "proof".

Cleaning up and stocking the fridge and pantry with good, healthy foods is a plus.

Does your house have any odor? if you are not sure.. cause we used to our own house.. have a neighbor you trust tell you what she smells. Any lingering animal odors or feces of any kind generally makes CPS nervous.

CPS IS NOT EVIL. They protect children.
post #24 of 244

Ive delt with this not for UC but other BS and CPS was so anti natural parenting anti co sleep and such

 

get a crib or pack and play keep your house clean and DONT GIVE THEM anymore info then you have to ! bare minimum to seem friendly have a witness there if possibley and rember that you are guilty untill proven insocent

I ended up with an atorney and should have done it way sooner they didnt follow threre own rules untill someone besides me called them on it . PM me if you need

post #25 of 244
Quote:
Originally Posted by kythe View Post

I've had them come and ask to see our house.  This may vary per state, though.



They can always, ask :) But you can say no! Like when a cop asks to search your car, you can say yes, he searches it and then leaves you alone, or you say no, and he write you a ticket for your license plate light out.

 

I would go to them! I don't like sitting around. I would find out who the social worker is, and either make an appointment or just go to her office. I would talk about it, and "show" that I wasn't a bumpkin who just kept having kids fall out of me.

 

May not be the best advice, but it's what I would do in your situation.

post #26 of 244

I have a very close friend who's a police officer who works closely with CPS (due to being a woman...sounds sexist but it's pretty right on as far as who they call to assist in these situations) and thank God for her talking me down about CPS several times, because I do have somewhat of a paranoia about them due to our practices that go outside of the mainstream. She has never once in her over seven years as a police officer been:

 

a. called about a home birth or UC

b. removed a child due to a home-birth or UC (police have to be present to remove a child as well as to enforce a search warrant)

c. removed a child or been present at a domestic due to cosleeping, home-birthing, breastfeeding, not-vaxxing, or homeschooling

d. removed a child or been present at a search by CPS at a house that was "messy". To remove a child, the house has to have like, feces on the floor and children in diapers that haven't been changed for DAYS.

 

Granted, we do live in a large metropolitan area but her actual assigned area isn't the 'big city'.

 

I realize some people have negative experiences with them and I'm not minimizing that, but I do think it's way more rare than it appears on a place like MDC. Please, don't act in fear OP and I really urge you not to reliquish your rights because you fear someone may form a witch hunt against your family. You have acted within the law... I see absolutely no reason for a case! America may have it's problems but people can't just storm in your home and remove your children without cause because some lady from church made a random phone call.

post #27 of 244
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabearkea View Post

I got a letter in the mail a week to the day from his birth that says "A report has been received requesting that we complete an assesment regarding your family and your new baby. Please contact me as soon as possible..."  and then the social worker's info.


I just saw this, and while I haven't ever had a UC or HB (my ds was born in a FSBC), I have, unfortunately, had CPS called on me.

 

Since you have the social workers name and phone number, call HER, and set up a time at HER office to meet.  That way, YOU control the meeting place, time, and how you look/feel/present yourself at the meeting.  Dress nicely (no need to wear a suit, or a dress, but no holes, and make sure its clean).  Start out by explaining that you got the letter, and were really concerned b/c "my children are all loved and very well taken care of, right now they are with a sitter, but would you like to meet us at the park tomorrow?"

 

Then just be honest.  Little itty bitty white lies are OK - things like, "Yes, the baby sleeps in a bassinet/pack n play/crib in our room.  She's very close to me - I always worry about being able to hear her in case she wakes up"

 

If they don't bring up the UC or the birth, don't bring it up yourself.  If they do ask, be honest, but make sure that you have a pediatrician for the little one that can say they've seen the baby.  Even better if its your family Dr. or family ped that has seen all your children (I would even say a naturopath would be fine if thats what you use).  Just be honest.  If they ask to come to your home, you have the absolute right to say  "No" unless they get a search warrant.  They likely won't get one if you are pro-active and call to set up a meeting with them before they come back out to your house.  Bad parents aren't generally pro-active about dealing with CPS.

 

It'll all work out!!

post #28 of 244


I think that's pretty sound advice too.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama View Post




I just saw this, and while I haven't ever had a UC or HB (my ds was born in a FSBC), I have, unfortunately, had CPS called on me.

 

Since you have the social workers name and phone number, call HER, and set up a time at HER office to meet.  That way, YOU control the meeting place, time, and how you look/feel/present yourself at the meeting.  Dress nicely (no need to wear a suit, or a dress, but no holes, and make sure its clean).  Start out by explaining that you got the letter, and were really concerned b/c "my children are all loved and very well taken care of, right now they are with a sitter, but would you like to meet us at the park tomorrow?"

 

Then just be honest.  Little itty bitty white lies are OK - things like, "Yes, the baby sleeps in a bassinet/pack n play/crib in our room.  She's very close to me - I always worry about being able to hear her in case she wakes up"

 

If they don't bring up the UC or the birth, don't bring it up yourself.  If they do ask, be honest, but make sure that you have a pediatrician for the little one that can say they've seen the baby.  Even better if its your family Dr. or family ped that has seen all your children (I would even say a naturopath would be fine if thats what you use).  Just be honest.  If they ask to come to your home, you have the absolute right to say  "No" unless they get a search warrant.  They likely won't get one if you are pro-active and call to set up a meeting with them before they come back out to your house.  Bad parents aren't generally pro-active about dealing with CPS.

 

It'll all work out!!



 

post #29 of 244


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama View Post




I just saw this, and while I haven't ever had a UC or HB (my ds was born in a FSBC), I have, unfortunately, had CPS called on me.

 

Since you have the social workers name and phone number, call HER, and set up a time at HER office to meet.  That way, YOU control the meeting place, time, and how you look/feel/present yourself at the meeting.  Dress nicely (no need to wear a suit, or a dress, but no holes, and make sure its clean).  Start out by explaining that you got the letter, and were really concerned b/c "my children are all loved and very well taken care of, right now they are with a sitter, but would you like to meet us at the park tomorrow?"

 

Then just be honest.  Little itty bitty white lies are OK - things like, "Yes, the baby sleeps in a bassinet/pack n play/crib in our room.  She's very close to me - I always worry about being able to hear her in case she wakes up"

 

If they don't bring up the UC or the birth, don't bring it up yourself.  If they do ask, be honest, but make sure that you have a pediatrician for the little one that can say they've seen the baby.  Even better if its your family Dr. or family ped that has seen all your children (I would even say a naturopath would be fine if thats what you use).  Just be honest.  If they ask to come to your home, you have the absolute right to say  "No" unless they get a search warrant.  They likely won't get one if you are pro-active and call to set up a meeting with them before they come back out to your house.  Bad parents aren't generally pro-active about dealing with CPS.

 

It'll all work out!!




I think that's a good way to go too.... And I would still call a lawyer or family law org first. You just never know who's going to have a bee in their bonnet or for what reason, regardless of how well you handle this. I'm always able to come off much more confidently and relaxed when I know just what I can and can't & should or shouldn't be doing or saying, and I'm sure this person's first impression of you will go a very long way in determining how far their "case" goes. You coming to them, willing to calmly help them move past you and your non-case is probably just what they're hoping for, and will make you look very good.

 

ETA: Keep forgetting to congratulate you on your wonderful UC! :)

post #30 of 244

Okay so- and here I am. :)
I read the title of this thread and my heart jumped INTO my throat and made me contract. DO NOT LET THEM IN.!!!!
If they do not have a warrant, DO NOT let them in...period. Letting them in waives your rights and allows them to come up with whatever they want to make an investigation 'necissary' and then they have the right to make surprise visits and you HAVE to let them in.

I had an OCD neighbor call CPS on us 2 years ago almost to the week, reporting that we had feces around the house and that I left my kids home alone unattended. HOW they would know this- is beyond me. I was 5 mos pregnant with my 6th and it was spring vacation/spring cleaning week- so they CHOSE that specifically to surprise us when all the kids would be home and make a visit. NO LETTER, no call. I had 2 CPS workers AND an officer, no warrant- just a report.

Hey, I have nothing to hide! COME ON IN!!! The WORST THING I could have ever done.

Listen, they are NOT there to exonerate you. They are there to build a case. There is very little regulation on what prevents them from removing your kids from your home, and MOST of their abilities lie on their own 'personal recommendation'. Do not take this lightly, I am not kidding. If they are appauled at natural birthing, even home births- they can make a case to remove all your children.

 

CPS was made to protect our kids but there is an OUTRAGIOUS reformation that needs to be done to prevent their 'recommendations' from ruling how we raise our children and choose to live. I have a DEAR friend who works for CPS here now, and she can testify that CPS routinely have people who go to work for them for the mear POWER and not for good intentions. She has been threatened to LIE or 'else' by her superiors. She is one of the good guys. She said she has gone to homes where there was 2 feet of rubbish and never had to remove the kids, that she has NEVER had to bring an officer to a home to remove them either or for any reports. She HAS had to remove kids but usually it's due to mental illness that prevents the parents from taking care of the children (severe lice infestations and fleas, laundry never done to the point where kids had to bathe at school, skin infections starting in, etc).

Before their visit, I had done photography for child abuse organizations. My DAUGHTER is on the front of the friggen' Oregon WIC pamphlet as a model. I write articles on parenting and advise parents on better ways of communicating with their kids- yet here we were. The minute these officials saw me, they made up in their mind that I looked TOO young to have all these kids, and here I was pregnant again. There is no way I could be managing them as I  'needed' to. It was a complete witchhunt.

They went through my house, making my children PULL DOWN THEIR PANTS to show they did not have bruises (which only occurs in reports of physical abuse) and interviewing my 5 and 6 yr old boys alone (yeah RIGHT , try getting a full story out of them without it totally going wacko was near impossible).

One of the officers taking pictures was in my upstairs hallway (we were living in a middle-class 4 yr old townhouse) and my daughter dragged her suitcase out of the room to show him she had packed for a church trip. My kids were all excited police were visiting, as we all teach our kids that officers are the good guys, right? I was coming up the stairs as she did this and she left her suitcase in the middle of the hallway in front of the officer. I instructed her to 'please put her suitcase away now' and he said, "No, this is not the time to start cleaning up". "Officer..."I replied, " she just abandoned her suitcase at your feet, I would like her to put it away." "Please go downstairs, Ma'am." he told me and proceeded to TAKE A PICTURE of the suitcase in the hallway with his camera. I am not making this up!!! I was DEVASTATED!

 

They deemed my home unnacceptable and had them REMOVED FOR 3 DAYS. They had 0 real evidence, just went on their 'gut' instinct. Know what they were charging me with?

    1.    Each of the kids rooms (3) had garbage bags they were putting their old school papers and trash in while they cleaned and a pile of dirty laundry. Deemed 'unnacceptable to 'store' garbage bags in kids rooms'. I told them I wasn't storing the bags there- they didnt care.

    2.    Chair in my 3 yr old's room under her light switch deemed 'unsafe because she could potentially push it across the room to the window'.

    3.    Laundry on the laundryroom floor waiting to be washed was deemed 'fire hazzard'

    4.    Hermit crab cage on the kitchen counter next to our sink (closed terrarium with lid) was seemed 'unsanitary creatures in the kitchen'.

    5.    A Jelly smear on the inside of our fridge was deemed 'unsanitary fridge'

    6.    The 2 younger boys told the officials that we had left them home alone once when 'mama and papa walked to Target to play in the toy aisle'. They believed them. We actually joked around about this with the the boys when we went to get the mail once as we were going out the door but we had walked to the mailbox 3 houses down. It was, of course, untrue. We didnt know the boys actually believed us or that CPS would be so STUPID to think that was something we would actually do.

    7.    A-frame Ladder in hallway to fix a light earlier was deemed 'unsafe around kids'


Not ONCE did they find evidence of feces in the house.

 

As they were waiting for my mother to come pick them up, they commented to me on how bright and polite my kids were. Of course, Jerkfaces- that's because WE'RE GOOD PARENTS! The house was SPOTLESS in a few hours, yet they wouldnt even come inspect to bring them back. They wouldnt even let my mother let us take them to their regular kid's Bible study functions they go to every week even though there were NO SET instructions on our paper that we couldnt take them out- only that they couldn't enter our home until it was authorized.

They said there would be an investigation of 60-90 days and surprise visits every month to determine abuse charges.

We hired maids to come twice a month to clean. Their first visit they were dumbfounded that there would be an accusation of unsanitary neglect and the company actually WROTE TO CPS on our behalf voluntarily that the evidence they saw at ours house showed no such thing. We purchased new beds, new drawers to appease them as they commented on the fact my daughter preferred to have her mattress on the floor (it was made with sheets, everything, mind you).

 

I wanted to DIE for those 3 days. I was absolutely devastated and 5 mos pregnant. I had nightmares that I was going to have my little girl and they were going to show up and remove her.

 

We kept our home in HOTEL CLEAN condition. I was exhausted. I personally feel that ANYONE with 5 kids who was as pregnant as I was with a house as clean as OURS was, should be investigated for neglect. Quality time was almost nill. My husband and I argued ALL THE TIME over who didnt get the dishes done as soon as they touched the sink.. who didnt flush the toilette, who left that article of clothing on the floor. My home was destroyed emotionally. The kids would ask me constantly if they were going to have to have a new mama and papa. There was no story time, no time for anything but cleaning and nagging and mom passing out in bed at night. Kids could NOT play outside, curtains were closed, it was a dark dark space.

 

The first time they visited in April, my face drained of blood as the doorbell rang. They went through the house and then as he left he said he would have to deem the case as 'unable to determine' if the house was a detriment to the safety of the kids. He said he would be seeing us the next month.

He visited in May- came the day AFTER the maids had cleaned. Same story, deemed 'unable to determine'.

June's visit, the same- unable to determine. Okay, it's been 90 days.. this should be it, right? Nope.

I wanted to SCREAM. WHEN WOULD THIS BE OVER? They had not found ONE SINGLE thing in 3 mos yet they were STILL COMING. They came July 21st during my son's 7th birthday party.

DING DONG! "Oh you you havent had the baby yet...." he said utterly surprised and made a note. "Nope, sorry to dissapoint you." I thought. "Oh I see you are having a birthday party, well I wont be long..." he said and pushed past me past our guests with his clipboard.

After he was done, he said, "Well from here we are still deeming this 'unable to determine', but we will be bringing this investigation to a close and we will send you a copy of our report. My supervisor is VERY THOROUGH, so if she finds anything else we will be contacting you."
"Actually, I would like a letter stating when everything is closed and I WONT be hearing from you, please." I said.

 

I still have post traumatic stress over this and have nightmares. I started up a blog on http://www.kidjacked.com and received TONS of responses from similar situations. Some were, meh iffy situations- but many were not. I PRAY TO GOD you live in an officer friendly environment. 

 

I know this is a long post- mostly because I am VERY passionate about my experience and the experiences I see and hear around me EVERY DAY from people. Do not naively assume that CPS will be on your side or that they will not judge you and purposefully try and sabbatoge your rights to suit their opinions. They REALLY need to be there to protect the kids that have no help, but their policies and regulations NEED REFORM!!!!!

 

Here is my blog... http://my.kidjacked.com/naiveinnocence/ the site is good for information and legal help on CPS and how to deal with them. I do not recommend being rude to them- but they, by law have to know their rights and are not required to tell you yours. They can even threaten you as long as they don't lie. The only thing that would give them permission to take your kids was PROOF you were hurting them, a fire or some other iminent danger, or a warrant. Judges dont just PASS out warrants without evidence, but once you are under investigation it's REALLY hard to go back. Please know your rights... do NOT offer any information, no matter how 'common sense' it may seem to you, and try if you can to meet them in a neutral place. If they do have to come, have a witness with you.

(hugs)

post #31 of 244
Jynuine, what a horrible story -- I feel sick just reading it. I'm so sorry you & your family had to go through that. hug.gif

OP... I don't have any words of wisdom beyond what's already been said, but I am sending good wishes your way!!!
post #32 of 244

Jynuine, I'm not going to argue the validity of your story.  None of the rest of us we there, and CPS is far from a perfect organization.  It's been my understanding that due to budget cuts and lack of available foster care, they are extremely reluctant to remove kids from homes.

 

My last case with them was opened because my house was messy..  This was about 1 1/2 years ago, when my kids were 7 and 9.  I was trying to work and go to school at the same time, I ended up failing everything that semester - my first academic failure since I started college.  I also lost my job toward the end of the semester.  I have a long history of depression, and a major episode hit.

 

My kids were not removed from my house at any time.  They talked to the kids individually and decided that the kids wanted to live with me rather than being placed temporarily with their dad.  I was referred to mental health services and immediately started on 2 anti-depressants and family therapy, compliments of the government.  I think the social worker was surprised at how cooperative I was, and a later social worker said he enjoyed working with us.

 

They stopped by at least once a month for a year, and I gradually got the house cleaned and where I could maintain it.  Since there was continual improvement and I have been compliant with medication and therapy, there has been no problem since.  I had a very bad experience with CPS a few years ago over a different issue (they accused me of lying about a case of abuse that to this day I'm quite confident really occurred, but I felt threatened by them and haven't reported anything since).  But at this point, I do not fear them and I trust the social workers I worked with.  Even if something unfair happened, there is a process of complaints if necessary.  It is also legal to audiotape every conversation, take your own pictures, or videotape whatever happens in your house.  These are the best "witnesses" you can have in a problem.


Edited by kythe - 3/31/11 at 9:53pm
post #33 of 244

Jynuine -- thanks for sharing your (terrifying!) story.

 

I agree with you to not let them in without a warrant, completely.

 

post #34 of 244

If you don't mind, I'd like to add my 2 cents!  redface.gif

 

Having grown up in the foster care system and then having CPS involved in our lives due to doctor's ER "routine" call, twice, I will tell you, just know your rights and be calm.  Really.  I've been on both sides of the coin and I know the system very well.  I know the good (and there is good), the bad, and the downright ugly.  I am good friends with several CPS and other related workers on CPS cases, who tell me the inside scoop that I practically know all too well from my childhood growing up.  Nothing surprises me with CPS, so rarely have I heard anything "new".  I've heard it all and experienced much of it, as a child, and very briefly as an adult (thankfully).  There truly is the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.  One's chances of largely depends on where you live and the personality of your CPS worker.

 

Here's the deal.  If you received a letter, all you need to do is contact your lawyer, and have him/her write a polite letter in return about them being more specific to the allegations being made and their need for a warrant to ask any questions.  Really, that's it!  thumb.gif

 

The advice on here is decently sound in certain cases, depending on the direction the situation has taken, but two things stand out specifically that I do not agree with whatsoever.  If you write a letter instead of calling them, as other have suggested, a meeting with them is completely unnecessary!  If one absolutely had to speak to one, I'd give specific directions for that, but it's really unnecessary in your case.  A written letter is sufficient.  And get the letter certified.  They are known for "losing" letters.  A good lawyer will tell you to get EVERYTHING in writing.  If you have to speak to them, know your state laws on recording devices (state laws vary) and use them, if you can.  However, if you start with getting everything in writing, speaking to them should be rare, as it ought to be.

 

Another piece of advice I strongly advocate against is the idea of letting them see your children in person.  This gives a CPS worker the chance to speak to your children, as well as build a case on what little they gain.  Absolutely not.  I strongly suggest if one ever has a CPS worker show up at their door, to only allow them to see your children through a nearby window, but that's it.  They do not need to speak to your children.

 

Bottom line, there isn't a case.  They won't open one if you don't give them anything to open one with!  So don't give them anything.  Respond with a certified letter via your lawyer and I have a great deal of confidence you will receive a letter stating they have "dropped" the case they never opened.  If you have received only a letter, believe me, you are not on their "radar".  If they were that worried about your child, they'd be at your door!  winky.gif

 

Too many horror stories from good parents come from their non-familiar understanding of their rights.  We are losing those at an alarming rate, but if we exercise our rights, we won't lose them.  So exercise them!  Just like exercising your body, if you do, you'll gain great strength.  If you stop exercising those muscles, you will lose them!

 

In the meantime, it never hurts to have a house that is more clean than usual, but you just had a baby, Mama!  Put down that cleaning rag and go enjoy your LO!  joy.gif  Congratulations, by the way!!!!

 

I'm sorry this has happened to you at such a joyful time!  hug2.gif  Please keep us posted!

 

 

post #35 of 244

I do not trust a LOT of government officials... where I LIVE.

Not to say they are all like that. In S Florida, there were fantastic corner officers who crossed kids across the street and talked to you and knew your name and I wish they lived here, too. I miss them. Tehy care and want to sincerely serve and protect.

My husband has gone to school with a lot of the small town local law enforcement here and a LOT of them are total jerks. They were out for power and control then, and it hasnt stopped. Some of the police officers have actually PACED my husband as he rode his bike to work glaring at him as if he did something wrong. He's an advertising professional, BTW.

 

Portland in general has a huge issue with Law enforcement abuse, so really- my whole point is this. Do NOT be naive. That's all.

 

Assuming that everyone is good and out to help you and wants to do the right thing and you should be FINE is stupid. It's where I was. My house was not perfect but it was certainly not a detriment to the safety of my kids in any way shape or form. I had bible study there off an on for a LONG period of time to other friends from church, no complaints or worries, and people all sum it up to bored CPS workers with a bone to pick with the mom of soon to be 6 who looks 19. My friend said that her supervisor actually thought that more than 3 kids was instant abuse. She also felt that every GOOD parent has a schedule they have their kids on for the whole day, and that otherwise they arent good parenting. CRAZINESS.

 

I think more parents need to be informed about their rights. A MAJORITY of women I talk to think that if CPS shows up at your door.. by law, you have to let them in. They are railroaded, and I wont even GET INTO the financial benefits CPS has for placing kids in foster homes. The homeschooling community here is really scared because we're instant targets to be red flagged simply for exercising our right to teach our kids out of a public school environment. I was scared out of my mind to homeschool and have a homebirth for that very fact. They took my kids, not in fear of their safety- but over what they considered to be 'dissarray' and to 'give us extra time to clean up'. They REMOVED our children!!!

 

We have since moved, although not far away, and life is ABSOLUTELY a million times better. We have great neighbors, land, lots of space, and my kids can roam about without prying eyes from neighbors who assume things wrongfully and destroy lives in the mean time.

 

Your situation is one of those that my girlfriend works with. She SINCERELY wants to work with the families, knowing that CPS makes for a POOR parent and does everything she can to provide them services and give them lots of opportunities to get better. They just need HELP- not harassment. Im so glad to hear things worked out for your benefit and that things are better- and I don't judge you. :)

 

I have not had a history of depression, I wasnt overwhelmed or had broken things around or any feces (apparently the 'feces' the neighbor saw was clay dug up from the backyard made into pots sitting on the window sill). We were absolutely innocent which is a VERY good reason why they werent removed premanently and why we never had to go to court. We were just raped and harassed for a long time, needlessly.

 

I consider the experience as BENEFICIAL to an extent, just like I do my tough births. It was ABSOLUTELY damaging to every aspect of our lives at the time- my relationship with my husband, my kids, my own psyche, to our financial situation, living well being... everything. But... from it I am stronger, wiser and hoping to catch other moms who might otherwise be at risk for what I call 'Naive Innocence'. I have also had the chance to touch other lives, listen to their story and be an advocate for the reform of CPS- not that they should be excluded, rather that they have BETTER LAWS governing their power, that they might not let kids fall through the cracks who really need their help and that the families who are innocent be left unassaulted after an initial investigation.

 

Here is another good organization who feels CPS needs reform, not removing: http://www.facebook.com/pages/National-Coalition-for-Child-Protection-Reform/98912572372

 

Blessings :)

 

 

post #36 of 244

By the way, for those whom I disagreed with, it's nothing personal!  love.gif  CPS has literally consumed my life.  I know it inside and out; the good, the bad, and downright ugly.  (Did I happen to say that before, I don't recall?  Just kidding.)  So I tend to become a bulldog for parental rights where CPS is involved.  redface.gif

 

If any of you are not familiar with the current organization that is trying to get a bill passed for parental rights, I strongly encourage you all to visit www.parentalrights.org and learn more about it.  I'm not against the UN, but I am against any UN regulations on US soil.  We need to keep our sovereignty if we expect to keep any freedoms.  The UN Rights of the Child takes away parental rights and rest assured, the idea of wanting to co-sleep, UC, or anything of the like, will be subject to the laws of the "rights of the child".  The "rights of the child" really isn't any right for children, but a right for the state to dictate to you how to raise your child.  Don't let it happen!  You are their parent and you have the right to bring them up under your guidance and direction!  smile.gif  Not to mention, this strong infringes on our Constitution.  Check out the Parental Rights website to learn more.

post #37 of 244

Jynuine,  I am so sorry to hear your story, but I am glad you shared it!  Sadly, it isn't a "rare" case for your area!  Your area has a horrible reputation for CPS involvement.  I have stated before that I would NEVER live in Oregon for that reason alone.  I am so, so sorry!  greensad.gif

 

I have spent too much time with my response and have to go, but I couldn't read your story and not respond!  hug.gif

 

*Edited to say, I saw you posted again, and totally agree with your assessment.  Wish I could respond, but really have to go! 

post #38 of 244

 

Quote:

Another piece of advice I strongly advocate against is the idea of letting them see your children in person.  This gives a CPS worker the chance to speak to your children, as well as build a case on what little they gain.  Absolutely not.  I strongly suggest if one ever has a CPS worker show up at their door, to only allow them to see your children through a nearby window, but that's it.  They do not need to speak to your children.

 

 

 Wow, thanks for that piece of advice. I always felt I would let them see my children (but not let them in or speak to my child).

 

Does anyone have any advice on a script to use if they did show up at one's door (rather than send a letter like in the OP)? I would not want to be adversarial, but no way I would let them in.

post #39 of 244

I think the issue is that, no matter WHERE you live, there is something or someone or a law, or an organization that is going to make life tough. I thank God EVERY DAY I don't live in some areas of the US, and especially strict countries like Iran and the Middle East, where women's rights are very poor...3rd world countries, etc.

 

I think it's important that as we are aware of these issues, we spread the word to inform families of their right's and choices- not so that the bad parents can get BETTER at being bad parents, but so that we can make organizations like CPS be MORE PRODUCTIVE and helpful, rather than a detriment to families. THAT is the goal, right?

 

Have a good day guys!

post #40 of 244
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

 

 

 Wow, thanks for that piece of advice. I always felt I would let them see my children (but not let them in or speak to my child).

 

Does anyone have any advice on a script to use if they did show up at one's door (rather than send a letter like in the OP)? I would not want to be adversarial, but no way I would let them in.


I wrote a response, my computer died, I logged in and the forum was undergoing maintenence! GO FIGURE!

kidjacked has a script Im sure on there I read... but it goes something like this:

 

CPS worker comes to your door, you answer, they introduce themself and why they are there. You respond, "Im sorry this is an inopportune time, if you will leave me with your card and a copy of the complaint I would be more than happy to contact your office and arrange for a meeting."

If they persist and request to come in and/or see or talk to the kids just to make sure, request to see their warrant. If they do not have a warrant or they persist and continue to threaten that they will go get a warrant and/or that they were going to note that you were being uncoorperative and take away the kids, simply say, "I can hear what you are saying, and if would leave me your card I would be more than happy to contact your office and arrange for a meeting. Otherwise I require a legal document stating that you have the liberty to enter my premesis and right now you do not have my permission, I bid you a good day."

 

I am going to quickly POST this before it's lost again and try and find the link!

 

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