Nurse-in at a church? - Page 2

[minercuter]

I alway nurse in church.  Last year when I was breastfeeding my daughter, I was attending one Assemblies of God church and didn't worry about it, but my sister had a confrontation with the pastor's wife, who said it was a sacred thing between mother and child and should be done alone. Whatever,  my child needs to eat.  I am going to another church now and no one has said anything to me when I feed my son.  I usually use a cover if some one is close to me and they look like it would bother them.   Thankfully this child doesn't mind having his head covered, the other two wouldn't cooperate with it.

[sosurreal09]

Our pastors wife FF all of her kids and has 0 empathy for a BFing mother. She is the one who set up a "nursing mother's room" that is the literal name for it and you are expected to got there whether you like it or not. IDK breasts are so indecent right?

[CourtBChase]

You should look into your states law before you do something like this, as well.  I know that in MA, churches are specifically exempted from the law protecting a women's right to breastfeed wherever she is legally allowed to be.  That said, I would hope that if you belong to a church you would feel comfortable enough addressing the breastfeeding culture there with other mothers and parishoners and working to make changes if the policy is not breastfeeding friendly.  If I felt like that was not possible, I would probably consider looking for another church.

[sosurreal09]

umm yeah I did not know that so legally they do have a right to tell me that? WOW

[CourtBChase]

http://www.malegislature.gov/Laws/GeneralLaws/PartI/TitleXVI/Chapter111/Section221

The last bit says: (f) A place of religious instruction or worship shall not be subject to this section.

I think it is a pretty decent law, but I also dislike the last bit.  I am guessing they saw it as a freedom of religion/separation of church and state issue (since some faiths specifically have concerns about modesty, etc that might include breastfeeding)

[Amatullah0]

Originally Posted by CourtBChase 

http://www.malegislature.gov/Laws/GeneralLaws/PartI/TitleXVI/Chapter111/Section221

The last bit says: (f) A place of religious instruction or worship shall not be subject to this section.

I think it is a pretty decent law, but I also dislike the last bit.  I am guessing they saw it as a freedom of religion/separation of church and state issue (since some faiths specifically have concerns about modesty, etc that might include breastfeeding)

Although you're probably right about the reasoning, it's really sucky, and doesn't make too much sense to me.

I honestly can't think of any religion with stricter views on modesty than Islam, and the only mothers that I know who do not breastfeed their babies are those who have honest medical reasons for not doing it. They all nurse at services when necessary, though a small handful will go to a separate room to nurse. Nobody makes a deal about it, and nobody throws blankets at you. But then again, if there are men around, we usually(always?) cover. But that's our own business. Nobody can force anyone else to cover up, and it's not like "your husband" sees other women wearing tank tops, or victoria's secret ads. He doesn't HAVE to look. It's called lowering your gaze, if that's what you believe in.

[Viola]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

Our pastors wife FF all of her kids and has 0 empathy for a BFing mother. She is the one who set up a "nursing mother's room" that is the literal name for it and you are expected to got there whether you like it or not. IDK breasts are so indecent right?

Honestly, it sounds like this is a personal issue with the pastor's wife.  I think it should be brought up to the pastor and whatever kind of governing board there is.  In the same way that breastfeeders may have a negative feeling about bottle feeding, formula feeders can have a negative opinion of breastfeeders.  I think of some conservative churches as being more accepting about breastfeeding than other conservative churches, and I think a lot of it is based on personal opinions, not anything scriptural.  Maybe you could make a scriptural argument.  

Although I attended a church a few times that basically didn't allow children over a certain age into the sanctuary.  I went there with my daughter who was around 18 months or so, and my friends took me up to the children's church area and had me hand her over and get a beeper in exchange.  If you didn't want to leave your baby there, you could come and sit in the narthex part of the church, that was walled off from the sanctuary, but had video and audio feeds.  This was one of those mega churches with stadium seating and no hymnals, just praise music put up on tv screens to sing along to, so it really wasn't my kind of church anyway, as I am more of a traditionalist.  However, I will admit that my daughter actually seemed to like the childcare place where she was, which was kind of amazing to me since she did not separate well.  She was happy when I picked her up, and she got to do things that were more fun for her than sitting in church.

[sosurreal09]

My church is a lot like the one you described, it is big but it is more connected and interpersonal too and we have a band. I really like the church but have been looking for a closer one since we moved. It is so not a modest type of church either...they seem to only be like that when it comes to BFing...

[Turquesa]

Communication with religious leaders is KEY! 

Here is a beautifully written article on the topic.  The author is writing from a Catholic perspective, but really, what he says holds value in any faith. 

You could write a courteous and heartfelt letter to church leadership (priest, pastor, bishop, rabbi...) and enclose or link this article!