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Need some help mentally

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 

I have had it in my head that since my water broke and I went into labor with DS at 38+3, this baby will be born close to that time. I'm 38 today. I'm done and ready and am bummed each time I wake up in the morning or from a nap and am not in labor. I check the TP every time I wipe hoping for bloody show. How can I possibly last? I KNOW there is no reason to think I'd go into labor around the same time, and I canNOT fathom going two more weeks or even four and a half more weeks.

 

So, to those who had a longer second pregancy, how did you manage? I'd love to get out and keep busy and do stuff to make the time pass, but I am physically not up for it.  I'm rather bored and I'm sure that is making it worse. Baby is lower so I'm more sore and I just get beat. Everything is ready for baby and homebirth too. Maybe I should schedule a massage for later this week.

 

I know I'm not alone...help me through these last days/weeks!

post #2 of 37

<3 you really are SO close!!!

post #3 of 37

oh I wish I knew!!!  I'm feeling the same way.  I was 39w3d and my water brike the 1st time.  I thought for sure the 2nd baby would be early and she was 41w3d.  It was MISERABLE waiting!!  This time I've tried to stay busy, I"m still working (kinda) I stayed home sick yesterday.  Everyone keeps telling me I won't go that late this time but why not???  they don't know.  I have to be mentally prepared to go to 41+ weeks.  I just don't know what I'm going to do.  My last scheduled day to work is Sunday and I really don't want to sit around at home for 2 weeks waiting on a baby.  But my job is so physically demanding that I have trouble doing it when I am there.  I have household projects to do still and I guess that will occupy my time after Sunday. 

 

Here is the only advice that I can offer (and what I keep telling myself to get through each day) I went to 41w3d with dd2.  The 10days past my due date were loooong.  I felt like a watched pot, a ticking time bomb. I went to bed every night wondering if it would be 'the night'.  When I did finally go into labor it was so nice. Early labor was obvious but gentle.  A contraction woke me up about 2 am.  I had contractions on and off all day but they weren't painful.  I ate, I napped through the day.  I went for walks with DH.  We went to the birth center in a  nice controlled manner and when I get there I was 5-6cm.  We walked a bit and then the mw broke water and I got in the tub and had a baby 2 hours later.  those 2 hours were the only intense part of the whole experience. I couldn't have choreographed a better labor and delivery.  If I have to go to 41 or 42 weeks to have my body birth so wonderfully and gently then so be it.  I am fine with that. would I rather have my body decide to labor like that at 39 weeks?  heck yeah.  and of course, i could go to 41 wks and have a crazy wild out of control experience- I know that, too.  But I just have to trust that my body will do what is right at the time that is right for this baby.  And in the end- these last 3 weeks will not be what I remember. 

 

Hang in there, mama!!  We are almost done!!

post #4 of 37

nicely put mama!  :)  It's so hard, especially when you've been through 10 hours of early labor and then having it stall out accompanied by every known "labor is impending" symptom on the face of the planet.  So frustrating!!!  I actually am on maternity leave now for one of my jobs because mentally, I think it was holding me back.  I feel much more relieved etc.  Will be checking the weather today to see if it's warm enough to go hiking etc to try to move things a long a bit.  Feel totally restless and the night before last I cleaned my kitchen at 4 in the morning!!!!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by StarCat View Post

oh I wish I knew!!!  I'm feeling the same way.  I was 39w3d and my water brike the 1st time.  I thought for sure the 2nd baby would be early and she was 41w3d.  It was MISERABLE waiting!!  This time I've tried to stay busy, I"m still working (kinda) I stayed home sick yesterday.  Everyone keeps telling me I won't go that late this time but why not???  they don't know.  I have to be mentally prepared to go to 41+ weeks.  I just don't know what I'm going to do.  My last scheduled day to work is Sunday and I really don't want to sit around at home for 2 weeks waiting on a baby.  But my job is so physically demanding that I have trouble doing it when I am there.  I have household projects to do still and I guess that will occupy my time after Sunday. 

 

Here is the only advice that I can offer (and what I keep telling myself to get through each day) I went to 41w3d with dd2.  The 10days past my due date were loooong.  I felt like a watched pot, a ticking time bomb. I went to bed every night wondering if it would be 'the night'.  When I did finally go into labor it was so nice. Early labor was obvious but gentle.  A contraction woke me up about 2 am.  I had contractions on and off all day but they weren't painful.  I ate, I napped through the day.  I went for walks with DH.  We went to the birth center in a  nice controlled manner and when I get there I was 5-6cm.  We walked a bit and then the mw broke water and I got in the tub and had a baby 2 hours later.  those 2 hours were the only intense part of the whole experience. I couldn't have choreographed a better labor and delivery.  If I have to go to 41 or 42 weeks to have my body birth so wonderfully and gently then so be it.  I am fine with that. would I rather have my body decide to labor like that at 39 weeks?  heck yeah.  and of course, i could go to 41 wks and have a crazy wild out of control experience- I know that, too.  But I just have to trust that my body will do what is right at the time that is right for this baby.  And in the end- these last 3 weeks will not be what I remember. 

 

Hang in there, mama!!  We are almost done!!



 

post #5 of 37

I wish we could pour a little of you mamas and a little of me in a cup and mix us all up.  I'm the total opposite!  I'm not ready at all!!   I'm not even that uncomfortable yet (I have had my moments for sure but I'm back at a well adjusted stage).  I started to wonder if maybe my dates were off.  :-)  

 

You know that advice that we always get but never take?  The one about how much more sleep and freedom to do stuff you have now than with a young baby?  I think that piece of "do as I say not as I do" is actually working on me for this birth.  

 

I hope you find a way to pass the time...and I hope I'm ready for this baby when she/he comes!  

post #6 of 37

My new mantra is "The baby will come when she is ready".  I've been telling myself this constantly.  I'm 38w2d today, the same as when I had DD and I doubt baby will be coming anytime soon.  To make matters worse, DS was 34w6d so mentally I'm starting to feel so very done.

 

I don't really have the energy to stay busy but I will try.  I think the massage is a good idea, may as well pamper yourself while you can.

 

Oh, and I've been starting to not look at my due date as an end date but rather at somewhere around 41 1/2 weeks as my "end date".  It's further away so mentally it works for me.

post #7 of 37

I felt the same way with my second pregnancy, but came to the acceptance that the baby will come when it is ready. My first came at around 38 weeks and my second came at 39 and a half weeks. 

 

This time, I'm trying to prepare for the possibility that baby will want to stay inside even longer - just in case. :) I'm sure by the time I hit 37 weeks, I'll be wondering when it'll happen though. 

post #8 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookAMH View Post

Maybe I should schedule a massage for later this week.

A massage, a pedicure, a haircut, some acupuncture/pressure, anything that would pamper yourself a little while also giving you something to look forward to on the calendar that isn't your due date. I scheduled my "due date" massage for 40w4d and am really hoping I go at least that far overdue so I can have it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by windymama View Post

Oh, and I've been starting to not look at my due date as an end date but rather at somewhere around 41 1/2 weeks as my "end date".  It's further away so mentally it works for me.

I did this from the beginning with both of my pregnancies, taking it one step further by telling friends and family a due date a couple of weeks later than my 40 week date. With DS, I was due the 12th and told everyone the 31st (he came on the 22nd). With this one, my EDD is the 9th and I've been telling people the 24th. It's crazy that such a little thing can make such a huge difference mentally at the end.
post #9 of 37
Thread Starter 

Thanks ladies. I'll mention the massage idea to DH. I am feeling better today. I spend some time praying about it in the shower last night, knowing ultimately, I strongly believe the birth day is up to God's timing and I need to trust him. That's a good point, Becca, about labor potentially going "well" when it's exactly the right time. I *would* rather have that.  I'm really trying to think about April as the birth time and not the time surrounding this week.

 

I think we'll go to Target this morning. We're having a new couple from church over tonight for individual chocolate melting cakes, my favorite dessert to make (topped with coffee ice cream, here's the recipe (http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000000524083). We put them in 6 ramekins instead of 8 muffin tin slots. Whole Wheat pastry flour works awesome, you guys should try them.  Tomorrow is midwife, coffee with another young couple, and the chiro. Thursday is a new mom's play group that I've been wanting to join, and Friday DH is off and we're planning to do something fun as a family. And each afternoon I usually nap.  thumb.gif

 

I can do it!!

post #10 of 37

Hugs!!  I've been feeling the same way.  I'm also super uncomfortable, sicks of wearing the same few clothes that still fit, and exhausted from pregnancy insomnia and not being able to get comfy at night in bed. 

 

I actually have a busy week - have to get car fixed, have a playdate with some friends, and some other appointments.  I just had a pedicure today since I know I won't be able to get one for a long time after the baby is here. 

 

I'm also trying to enjoy the last bit of time with DS being an only child.  I have been savoring his bedtime routine and laying with him and talking to him.  I know things are going to change big time for him and I very soon and it makes me a little sad so every day this baby stays in is one day more my DS gets to have me all to himself.  I'm really trying to relish this time will him even as I'm so exhausted and uncomfortable! 

 

We'll all be holding our new babies in our arms very soon - hope time goes by fast for us all!

post #11 of 37

I'm so glad that I read this...it's really helpful to know that I'm not the only one.  I'm just now 37 weeks.  My first came at 41 weeks and my second came at 38 weeks so I'm trying to not have expectations for this birth, but it is so hard.  I just think in one week I could have a baby and be done...

post #12 of 37

I can soo related to how your are feeling, I feel like a pot of boiling water....a watched pot never boils. I get so tired have predominal labor everyday and it seems as if everyday that comes is more exhausting than the day before. I keep thinking...ok today is the day and im contracting and uncomfortable...then i go lay down in bed and everything stops. Last night i was so tired, but i didnt want to go to bed...because i knew the BH would stop and another day would bring more exhaustion.

But i do keep reminding myself...I will not be pregnant forever...the baby will come and he/she will come soon...and that i need to enjoy this time being pregnant.

 

post #13 of 37


yeahthat.gif

 

Seriously, this is me exactly. Wanting to go out and do stuff to keep me busy and "enjoy the last few days of independence" type of thing, but I'm literally too tired to do anything. Either that or I stress that going out and doing these things will WEAR me out- THEN i'll go into labor and be so exhausted that labor will be horrible (a problem I had with both of my other two labors). I'm trying to split the difference and find one thing to get excited about per day. It could be nothing at all (like renting a redbox and sitting down to watch it) or it could be bigger plans. I'm just trying to find things to put on the calendar each week to get excited about so I can stop focusing on "is it time? ...Is it time?" Hang in there-- you're not alone! smile.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by CookAMH View Post

I'd love to get out and keep busy and do stuff to make the time pass, but I am physically not up for it.  I'm rather bored and I'm sure that is making it worse. Baby is lower so I'm more sore and I just get beat.

post #14 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by alireb View Post

Hugs!!  I've been feeling the same way.  I'm also super uncomfortable, sicks of wearing the same few clothes that still fit, and exhausted from pregnancy insomnia and not being able to get comfy at night in bed. 

 

 


OMG I really have hit this point - I'm so sick of my wardrobe.  I don't know if it's better or not that it's about to get really warm here - in the 80s by the end of the week.  I don't have any maternity shorts, and I'm sure as heck not going to buy any at this point.  But man, it's almost worst than how uncomfortable I am all the time.  Sick sick sick of my clothes!

post #15 of 37

This is my first baby and I assumed I would have it early (just cause I'm an early person!!!) It's funny cause I feel the same way all of you do, waking up bummed that it hasn't happened yet.  I'm 39w4d today and I think I'll just start thinking in my head I'm 37 weeks I'm 37 weeks I'm 37 weeks... we'll see if that helps my brain stop going crazy!!!  I KNOW baby will come when baby is ready!!!!  Why can't we be ready at the same time :) 




 

post #16 of 37

I went out and bought a pair of maternity shorts like 2 or 3 weeks ago because it was so hot here.  They are the secret fit belly kind and I'm figuring they are stretchy enough to last at least month or 2 postpartum, too. 

 

Julie, with my 1st I was so sure I'd be late that it never crossed mymind I could go early!  (39w2d my water broke!) the 2nd time I was so SURE I'd be early that it flipped me out to go all the way to 41w3d!!  This time I have no idea what to expect.  I know it could still be 3 weeks but hope every day that today is the day!!  Definitely feeling over it today!! 

post #17 of 37

See there's just no reason to have any expectations huh?  Funny how the mind works..... you can't help read all these things and hear all this feedback from people like "oh you'll pop tomorrow I bet" or whatever....  that kid is not coming until that kid is ready! Unless the doctors need to improvise (which doesn't sound like they will)!  I think the most frustrating part is I've been having BHs for 3 weeks and the past 8 days they've been hurting to the point where it wakes me up.  But they always stop hurting after I begin timing them. 

 

I was born on my due date, maybe this kid will greet me promptly when he/she is supposed to (April 1st).  If not, I'm DEFINITELY playing the "I'm in labor!!!!" joke on my parents.  I don't care how cruel it is, I feel I deserve to mess around with them since they've been nagging me daily.... "is today the day? is today the day?" 

Good luck to everyone here, I hope we get some baby pics up SHORTLY!!!!!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by StarCat View Post

 

Julie, with my 1st I was so sure I'd be late that it never crossed mymind I could go early!  (39w2d my water broke!) the 2nd time I was so SURE I'd be early that it flipped me out to go all the way to 41w3d!!  This time I have no idea what to expect.  I know it could still be 3 weeks but hope every day that today is the day!!  Definitely feeling over it today!! 



 

post #18 of 37

i'm so playing the April Fool's Joke on SOMEONE!!  How could I not.  I just promised my birth team it wouldn't be them.  but everyone else. GAME ON!!

 

I"ve also been guilty of starting to time the contractions.  Now I NEVER timed a contraction not once in either pregnancy.  but this time I have my handy, dandy little app on my phone so when I feel like I've had a few I grab and think oh maybe this is something let me time them.  Then they go away.  I think I'm going to delete the app.  It obviously scares away the contractions!

post #19 of 37

I'm glad to hear others are having a hard time, because I am, too.  I'm 39w today and had my son 4 1/2 years ago at 38w.  I'm so ready to be done being pregnant!

post #20 of 37

This is one of the hardest parts of late pregnancy for me.. not knowing when it's going to happen. I can relate to so many things you all have posted. Very few clothes fit. I'm too exhausted to get out and do much. I'm sick of input from everyone so sure that they know exactly when I will have this baby based on when I had my others. Ugh. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. I worry that I'll go into labor on a day that I have not had enough rest or a day  that my house is a total wreck.


 

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