Just wanted to encourage you that it is do-able even if not ideal. With my 4th baby his father took off within hours of being home from the hospital and only came around like once a week and my mother was already to sick to be much help. I had to go back to babysitting within a week for money (it was only one kid though) and had no real friends to help me out. I survived. I used the TV much more then I liked and the housecleaning and cooking standards were let go. It helped to be breastfeeding and cosleeping for sure. It was not easy by any means but it wasn't hell either. I do feel stronger and capable because of it. With the baby that is coming I won't have any help at all, my mom has passed, my sister moved 3 hours away and the babies father moved out of the country..and I babysit 3 kids now instead of 1. I am very nervous but I know that I can do it.
On another note you may want to tell your mother how you feel. Tell her I would rather not have any help from you if you can't keep your comments to yourself. I basically walked out on my mom at Easter after my first son had been born when she made her millionth "you should have thought about that before you had a baby" comment to me. That made her realize how much it upset me and she did alot of biting her tounge after that..I knew what she was thinking she didn't have to say it and we got along fine