Have you tried www.doulamatch.net ?
I had not. I just tried it and got 0.
I am in a somewhat similar situation. Husband is not military but he is not at home (including nights) more than half the year. He may well not be here when I go into labor. I also have a mom who is, to put it gently, a less than positive presence when she is around. However I am a strong believer in resting-- doing nothing but lying in bed-- for at least 3 days post partum, even if you feel great. Your body really, really will need that rest even if you feel wonderful and want to jump back up and get on with mommy duties. So I would just take your mom's negativity on the chin and see her as an extra pair of hands to get you through the first week PP, then perhaps try to do it, very gently and gradually, on your own.